It wasn’t just about doing well in school and having the right career. It was about having all that and sharing it with someone who was willing to have all of that with you. And I had found that with Garrett. Because my goals, my dreams, they only made sense if he was there, living his own dream too.
And that’s what he was doing.
He came with me to Maryland over Christmas, helping me to make new traditions with my mother, brother and sister after my dad’s death. And I knew it meant a lot to him to be included in a family again. My mother welcomed him into the fold as though he had always been there.
She made sure to tell me before I left to return to school that my father would definitely have approved of Garrett. And with the release of tension I hadn’t known I was carrying, I realized that my Dad’s approval would always matter, whether he was here to give it to me or not.
Returning to Bakersville was bittersweet. I was ready to begin my last semester at Rinard and Maysie and Garrett were leaving.
Saying goodbye to my best friend was as hard as I thought it would be. She had cried a lot, I gave her tissues and made a show of being strong. But in the end I had lost it as badly as she had. There was a lot wailing. A lot of snot and blubbering. But in the end I sent her off to the next chapter of her life without judgment, without a list of reasons she was making a bad choice. I simply gave her my support.
I’d come a long way fellas.
Rinard would be an empty place without her crazy energy and our apartment was way too quiet without her incessant chatter. It wasn’t until she had left that I realized how much I appreciated her drama. Hell, it had kept things interesting.
But she was off with Jordan and the rest of the guys, including my new boyfriend, touring the country, exposing the masses to Generation Rejects’ brand of ear destroying mayhem.
Garrett leaving took pain to a whole new level. It was ridiculous how attached I had become in such a short amount of time. I had spent so long refusing to admit how much I cared about him, now with the flood gates open it was borderline debilitating. Love sucks when it goes badly but when it’s good…damn it’s amazing.
While I had tried like hell to hold it together when saying goodbye to Maysie, I f**king lost it when Garrett left. I didn’t even try to stop the tears and total emotional meltdown that ensued.
Garrett held me and kissed me and whispered a thousand beautiful things for my ears alone. He told me he loved me over and over again and even though I hadn’t yet said it back, I promised him we’d talk every single day and I would see him for spring break.
At the time I hadn’t been sure how I’d last for three months. But between classes and finishing up my internship, the time had gone faster than I anticipated.
At the beginning of March, I got the letter that I had been accepted to my top choice grad school in Massachusetts. I was hesitantly excited, not sure what that would mean for my future with Garrett. But after telling him and hearing his own enthusiasm, I knew that no matter what, we’d get through anything. And he promised we’d make it work, no matter if we were together or apart. That my dreams, my goals, were important to both of us.
And if I hadn’t been sure I loved him before, I most definitely was now.
Generation Rejects were a hit. Their shows, which in the beginning were selling minimal tickets, were now selling out. Mitch’s cousin had gotten them radio interviews and their venues were getting bigger and bigger.
I had no doubt the day would come when they would be signed to a major label. And then Garrett’s dreams would be realized as well. And even though I was a little freaked out by the thought, I wanted it for him more than anything. He deserved to have his dreams come true. Even if he swore to me daily that his dreams began and ended with me.
“Knock, knock!” Gracie’s high-pitched voice called out as she pushed open the door. She was looking much healthier. She had gained some weight and no longer looked washed out and tired. Her eyes sparkled with that mischievous twinkle that always made me a little bit nervous.
She hadn’t returned to school yet and was now saying she wasn’t sure she wanted to. I tried talking sense into her, pointing out she only had a semester left until she earned her degree. But she wasn’t ready to make definitive decisions about her future and I didn’t want to push it. Even if it was in my nature to push.
“You ready?” she asked and I nodded, grabbing my suitcase. Following her out into the hallway, I locked up the apartment. We walked down the stairs, passing Maysie’s ex, Eli Bray, who was sitting on the steps strumming a guitar.
At one time I would have made a nasty remark as I passed. I would have looked at him like he was a loser, judging him unfairly. I hated that thinking those thoughts would have been second nature to me.
But not anymore.
“Hey, Eli,” I said, walking around him.
Eli looked up at me in surprise and placed his hand on his guitar almost protectively.
“Uh, hey Riley,” he said haltingly. He took in my suitcase and raised an eyebrow. “Off on spring break, huh?” he asked, getting to his feet and taking my overstuffed bag. He carried it down the steps for me and I gave him a genuine smile. He was a nice guy and I felt like an ass for never giving him the credit he probably deserved.
“Yep. Off to St. Louis,” I said.
Eli crossed his arms over his chest. “St. Louis? There aren’t any beaches there. Isn’t’ spring break supposed to be about getting drunk, showing your tits, and getting a sun burn?”
I laughed at his crude description. “Not for me. I’m going to see my boyfriend’s band.”
Eli nodded but didn’t ask any more questions and I knew we were at an end of our brief civil exchange.
“Okay then, well have fun. Later,” he said, sticking a pick in his mouth as he leaned down to turn the tuning pegs of his guitar.
“Later, Eli,” I responded, hefting up my bag and carrying it to Gracie’s car.
“Was that Maysie’s Eli?” Gracie asked, watching Eli sit back down on the stoop and start playing again.
“Yep,” I answered, getting into the passenger seat.
“Huh. I don’t remember him being so cute,” she mused and I almost groaned. I recognized the hunting light in my friend’s eyes.
“Don’t even think about it, G,” I warned and she giggled.
“Is Vivian already gone?” I asked her. Gracie nodded.
“She flew out this morning. She’s only going to be out for the weekend. She has to be back on Monday for work. But you know she has to keep tabs on Cole one way or another,” Gracie said and I rolled my eyes hoping the Vivian and Cole sideshow wouldn’t create too much drama while I was out seeing Garrett. I was determined to keep away of all things angst related.