“I know, Olivia. And I'm so, so sorry,” I told her, hoping to make this right in some small way.
Olivia's eyes held mine and I saw no warmth there. No understanding, no compassion. I only saw the same anger and betrayal that I had witnessed last night. “I'm not sure what to do about all of this. But Jordan and I talked a lot last night. We hashed out a lot of our problems. And I think we're in a really good place now. So in a way, I should thank you, Maysie. You helped Jordan realize how much he wanted me. Wanted us. And we're now stronger than ever.” Her eyes glittered coldly and I felt like I might pass out.
Olivia finally looked away from me and turned her attention to the rest of the sisterhood. “So, you see...the best woman won. And we can put all of this behind us.” What a backhanded way of putting me down. Everyone looked at me and I knew there would be no putting this in the past. Hell no. If anything, Olivia's words only fanned the flames.
Just f**king fabulous. The rest of the meeting passed in a blur. I didn't hear anything else, Olivia's words ringing in my ears. I should thank you, Maysie. You helped Jordan realize how much he wanted me. I felt like such an idiot.
I practically ran from the chapter room at the end of the meeting. I needed to get out there. I wanted to go back to my apartment and work on that whole hibernation thing again. “Maysie, wait up!” Gracie and Vivian ran to catch up with me.
“Sorry, I just needed...ah, never mind.” I pulled my hair down from the tight bun and rubbed at my scalp.
Gracie put her hand on my shoulder. “That could have been...worse.” She offered half-heartedly. I gave her a sideways smile.
“Sure, if I was on trial for murder,” I muttered. I turned to Vivian and hugged her. “Thank you so much for sticking up for me like that. I'm sorry if this makes things harder for you. And just so you know, I won't hold it against you if you need to keep your distance from me. Both of you. Don't let being my friend ruin things for you with the sisterhood.” I rubbed my eyes tiredly, just wishing I could rewind time and undo the last three months.
Because I sure as hell would undo Jordan Levitt. I would erase his sorry ass from my life.
Vivian and Gracie looked at me like I was crazy. “We're sisters. Friends. We're not going anywhere.” Gracie said firmly and I could do little more than nod, all out of words.
“Do you mind if I just head home? I'm tired and I have an early class tomorrow,” I asked, already heading toward Gracie's car. The girls followed me.
After I got home, I ignored the pile of homework I had yet to do. I feigned a headache so I didn't have to go back through my night with Riley. I went into my room, took off my clothes and fell on my bed. I wanted a do over.
~~
The next two weeks of my life fell into a sad little routine. I went to class, came home. I went to work, came home. I did the one thing I swore I would never do, no matter what happened. I quit my job at Barton's. I just couldn't be around Jordan after everything. I knew I was being a coward but I just didn't have it in me to see him. Because he hadn't tried to contact me since the night of the mixer.
Not once. No texts, no phone calls. Nothing. Talk about making a gal feel special.
My life had become an endless source of misery. I knew people were talking about me behind my back. I could see the stares I got when I walked into the commons to eat lunch. The whispers that would suddenly go quiet when I would enter a room.
Jordan's fraternity brothers were the worst. They leered at me as though they were picturing me naked. And they didn't stop there. One of the guys, a new pledge, came up to me while I was reading my Shakespeare homework on the quad before class.
I had looked up in surprise as he dropped down beside me on the bench. I didn't even know the guy's name. He smiled at me and I smiled back, unsure what was going on . “You're Maysie Ardin, right?” He had asked, his smile wide. I had frowned, not sure where he was going with this.
He had put his hand down on my upper thigh, his fingers brushing the edge of my shorts. I moved backwards in shock. “Get your hands off of me,” I had told him angrily, swatting his hand away. The guy had only laughed and pressed toward me again, his hand snaking around my waist and pulling me toward him. I pushed on his chest. “Who the hell do you think you are? Get the f**k away from me right now!” I said as calmly as I was able. I had started to tremble, my anxiety peaking precariously.
I darted a look around, there were people everywhere. If I screamed, a hundred people would be there to help. The guy leaned toward me and stopped just short of my lips. I clenched my mouth shut, prepared to bite him if he tried to kiss me. He pressed something into my hand and then put his lips by my ear. “I'd like to use this sometime. My name is Derek. I'm over at Olin Hall. Room 312. I want to see what those lips could do for me.”
Then he had pulled away, got to his feet and walked toward a group of Pi Sigs who were howling with laughter. A few of the guys clapped him on the shoulder. The guy had puffed up his chest and threw a look my way as if to say, you know you want this.
I had looked down at what he put in my hand and I blanched. It was a condom. A f**king, foil wrapped, ribbed for her pleasure, condom. The Pi Sigs were heading across the quad. I wasn't sure what had possessed me but I had run after them.
“Hey!” I called out. The douchy pledge had turned around, a look of pure arrogance on his face. As though I were going to blow him right there on the quad. I flicked the condom at him and it hit his chin before falling to the ground. “I'd rather staple it shut than let your tiny penis anywhere near me,” I yelled.
“Denied by the skank!” One of the guys, who I recognized as Greg, a Pi Sig senior, taunted the pledge. I shrank at the word he used to describe me. Skank. They thought I was a skank. But then I got mad.
“Skank? Says the guy who pays for f**ks.” Greg turned red and he clenched his fists. I laughed harshly. “Yeah, everyone knows about that,” I mocked. The rest of the Pi Sigs were in fits of riotous laughter.
I turned to the pledge again. “So take your condom and use it to go f**k yourself,” I spat out. Wow, where had that come from? I had been kind of proud of myself. The pledge leaned down to pick the condom up off of the ground.
Tucking it into his pocket he sneered at me. “As if I'd let my dick anywhere near that. I have standards.” And without another look in my direction, the guys turned and walked away. Leaving me standing in the middle of the quad pissed but completely humiliated.
I had turned around and ran across the grass. I blew off the rest of my classes that day and gone back to my apartment. I wouldn't leave for another two days. My show of bravado faded as quickly as it had come and I was done with it all.