So, instead I watched the crowd undulate to the band's music. They ate up whatever the band threw at them. It was like watching a religious experience. And on some small level, I gave into it. And it was liberating. To be able to let go of all the negative shit I was feeling and for a moment, just enjoy myself.
When they were done, I was left feeling bereft. Because then I had to return to feeling like crap again. “Wow, they really are good,” Gracie said, looking a little in awe. I could only nod.
“Can we go now?” I asked, wanting to get out of there and go back home.
“Come on, just hang out for a little while longer. I know you want to dance, Maysie,” Riley teased, motioning for Gracie and I to follow her onto the dance floor.
The techno music had started up now that the band's set was finished and I had to admit, I wanted to get my groove on. So the three of us went and got lost in the throng of moving bodies. I danced until sweat poured down my face and my shirt clung to my skin. Gracie and Riley could dance, but they had nothing on me.
I rolled my hips to the beat, moving my hands up my sides, scaling my body until they reached above me. I tossed my head back and forth, my hair flying in my face. I was lost in my own little world. Dancing did that for me. I forgot about everyone and everything else.
After a few songs, I was parched. “I need a drink,” I rasped, tugging on Gracie's hand. Riley and Damien had found each other and were currently clutched together, rocking slowly to the upbeat tempo. There was no interrupting that. Gracie and I, holding each others hand so we wouldn't get separated, made our way to the bar.
“Hang back over here, I'll get our drinks,” she told me. I went to the end of the bar and waited, my eyes darting around the room. Yes, I was looking for Jordan. But I guess the band had left right after their set.
Or maybe not.
“Hey, Mays.” I didn't need to turn around to know who spoke. My entire body lit up and every nerve and synapse responded to those two words.
“Hey,” I said casually, not looking at him. Jordan was suddenly in front of me and my mouth went even drier. He had no right to look that hot. It pissed me off.
“You looked good out there,” he said, looking at me with the thousand things unsaid between us.
“Thanks.” I replied, glancing over his shoulder, as though I'd rather be anywhere but standing there with him. I was very good at lying apparently. Because in truth, there was no where I'd rather be.
“How've you been?” he asked, pulling my attention back to him. Okay, his question made me mad. How had I been? Really? I felt the chill spread outward from my heart at his callous question.
“Oh, just f**king peachy,” I snarled, throwing every ounce of hurt and anger at him.
Jordan frowned. “What the hell, Maysie? It was just a damn question,” he bit back sharply. That was it. I was going to explode. And it wouldn't be pretty. I was saved from committing malicious wounding by Gracie handing me my soda.
She looked back and forth between Jordan and me, a concerned look on her face. “Um, hey Jordan,” she said, clearly not sure what to make of the dark expressions we both wore.
“Hey, Gracie,” he said shortly, then continued to look at me. Our eyes never left each other. I was so upset and enraged that I could feel my hands shaking as I clutched my drink. Jordan looked frustrated and confused.
Finally, he dropped his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I've got to get back to the guys. See you later,” Jordan said, his voice sounding strangely thick. He looked at me one more time but I purposefully glanced away.
“Woah. What was all that?” she asked, sipping her water. I rolled my eyes.
“He was asking me how I was,” I answered, slamming my full glass down on the bar, not bothering to finish it.
“Okay. Well. That was...nice?” Her statement came out more as a question. I started to stalk away.
“Nice? No, it wasn't f**king nice! He has no right to even ask me that, when my life is in shambles because of him. So screw him and his stupid kissable lips and the fact that he couldn't be bothered to try and talk to me at all. No, he had to go jump back in with Olivia and forget all about me. Just like I knew he would.” I stopped when we got back to our table. I threw myself down in the chair and glowered.
“But I thought you didn't want to talk to him.” Gracie sounded confused. Not that I blamed her.
“No, I didn't want to talk to him. I just don't know what I wanted him to do!” I felt those damnable tears again. I had to get home. I was a mess.
My eyes flitted around the room and found Jordan, again by the bar with a throng of girls around him. His band mates were living it up. Jordan looked less than happy, but that didn't stop a chick with seriously huge tits slide up beside him and curve into his side. He looked down at her as she spoke to him, her fingers trailing up his arm. And he let her touch him. Yep, time to get the f**k out of there before I flew into a demon rage and ran across the room to claw that bitch's eyes out.
“I need to get out of here. Please, Gracie.” She didn't try to convince me otherwise. She must have seen how close I was to losing it. We went to find Riley who was wrapped around Damien as though they were one freaking person. She started to insist on coming with us but I had simply held up my hand to stop her. I asked Damien to make sure she was taken care of and then with a hug to my best friend, Gracie and I left.
When we got back to the apartment I insisted on Gracie heading on home. It was after midnight and I didn't feel like being around people anymore. “Okay, well as long as you're okay.” Gracie looked at me skeptically.
“I'll be fine. I'm just going to go inside and put my face mask on and go to bed. I'm exhausted.” I faked a yawn. In truth, I was the farthest thing from tired. I was so keyed up I thought I would blow a gasket. But the last thing I wanted was small talk or my friend's efforts to make me less miserable. As well intentioned as they were.
Gracie nodded. “Alright, girlie. I'll call you tomorrow and we can get lunch or something.” I gave her a small smile.
“Sounds great.” I got out and slammed the car door. I waited until she had driven off before making my way into the apartment. Where I was left alone with my bitterness.
Chapter Fifteen
I changed into my tiny little pj shorts and a tank top. Pulling my hair into a high ponytail on top of my head, I grabbed my basket of nail polish and accessories and headed back out to the couch. I started to give myself a late night pedicure, choosing a garish red. Might as well look the part of the harlot if I was going to be labeled one.