Her brows arched into her hairline, curiosity blending with the rosy glow of her arousal. “All this, infecting human females, killing them, for sex?”
“I think. Could be more to it, but that’s all I’ve found out so far.” Sweat trickled from his temples and onto the pillow below him. “Every infected woman I’ve killed has been pregnant.” He hated himself for every death, too. So needless. Don’t think about that. Not here, not now.
Mishka didn’t judge his actions, his despicable admission not even fazing her. “Why keep this to yourself? Why not tell us right away? Measures can be taken. Birth control hormones in the city’s food supplies, warn women not to sleep with anyone resembling a Schön, things like that. So I ask again. Why?”
“Because—”
“Why!” As he hesitated again, she pressed the blade deep and leaned into him. Their noses touched, her sweet breath caressing his cheeks.
“Because.” Just say it, put it out there. “One, you saw the women in the bar. Once they see a Schön in person, they only care about f**king him. Two, I said that Schön could only come with a fertile female. I said nothing about infected females being unable to spread the disease on their own.”
“What do you mean?”
“I had to kill an infected male. Husband of one of the victims. No one knows, but he bore all the beginning signs. Sunken eyes, graying skin.”
Mishka’s lids closed, blocking him.
Jaxon continued. “Lastly, I don’t think the disease can be stopped. I think it’s going to spread. And spread. And I doubt there’s anything we can do about it.”
Slowly her eyelids opened, and hope stared down at him. “Why do you think that? Surely there’s something we can do.”
“Ever played dominos?”
“No, but I know what they are.”
“Think of every citizen on Earth as a domino. We’re all lined up. Some have already fallen and they’re quickly knocking others down. They, in turn, knock others.” He paused. “One of the women I killed looked human, but she wasn’t. She’d actually come with a group of men from Raka, a planet the same infection had just destroyed. Nearly every citizen had already fallen. One by one. The more they tried to stop it, the faster it spread. I think…I think our downfall has only just begun.”
“I don’t know what to say to that. I need to think.” Mishka’s blade eased from his neck. She frowned. Tried to move away from him.
He grabbed her neck and rolled, pinning her underneath him. “There’s nothing we can do about it right now. Think later.”
CHAPTER 12
Le’Ace peered up at Jaxon. “We’re not doing this,” she said flatly. Inside, though, she trembled with eagerness. She ached. She desired. But she was too cowardly to allow herself to have it. Physical pain she knew how to handle. Pleasure? Not so much. The aftereffects were too difficult to deal with.
Fire blazed in his silvery eyes, liquefying the irises and making them swirl with longing. “We’re not doing what?” His hands anchored beside her temples, enveloping her in a hard embrace.
Her ni**les hardened, reaching for his muscled chest, his heat. “This. You and me. Sex.” Can’t, you know you can’t.
Tomorrow they would part, and she would not be allowed to see him again. Giving herself to him here and now would be bliss in exchange for a lifetime of anguish, yes. After the orgasm he’d given her earlier, there was no question she would like what he did to her now. Yet she suspected, deep down, that giving herself to him would also bring another layer of chaos into her life.
Already she wanted him as her own. Was obsessed with him, really. Any more want and she might die inside, little by little, every time she wondered where he was, who he was with, and what the hell he was doing.
She cut off a bitter laugh. Why are you tormenting yourself? Even if they could sustain a relationship after this, he wouldn’t want her. Not permanently.
“Are you sure?” he finally asked, his voice seduction incarnate. The hard length of his c**k rubbed between her legs. “I feel fully functional.”
Le’Ace hissed in a breath as she fought another wave of sensual hunger. “That doesn’t mean anything. I’m the only woman around. Of course you want me.”
Hot prongs of jealousy and possessiveness sliced at her. When they parted, would Jaxon fall straight into the arms of another woman? Fall into pretty, petite, unbearably whiny Cathy’s arms?
Le’Ace bared her teeth at him.
He blinked in surprise. “What?”
“Nothing.” The single word was snapped and baring teeth of its own.
Leaning down, Jaxon gently kissed her temple. His lips burned, imprinting on her DNA, proclaiming her to be Jaxon’s woman. “All you have to do is tell me to leave and I’m gone. And I don’t want you because you’re the only one around. I would pick you out of thousands.”
A stinging retort refused to form. One minute ticked by, then another.
His body fell more heavily onto hers, hard, uncompromising, and her knees opened wider, providing a cradle. His rugged scent encased her, seeping into her nostrils, then her lungs, then infusing with her every cell.
“What am I to you?” she asked tightly.
There was a painful pause. He looked up, away from her and at the headboard. “I won’t lie to you and tell you I love you. I just, I honestly don’t know what you are to me.”
“I’m not your girlfriend.” The words were not a question and they were not for Jaxon; they were a reminder to herself. Not you, never you.
His head tilted to the side and his gaze returned to her. Intent, he studied her. “Do you want to be?”
Yes. Her hatred for Estap intensified as she said, “No. Of course not.”
The sides of his jaws clenched and unclenched, as though he were chewing on something distasteful. “There’s disgust in your tone. I’m that abhorrent to you?”
Her stomach churned into thousands of tiny knots. Did I just hurt his feelings?
Eighty-eight percent chance his affront is genuine. His corticotropin and epinephrine levels have spiked.
“Well?” he snapped.
She could say yes. If she did, she wouldn’t have to find the strength to kick him out of her bedroom; he’d get up and walk on his own. They wouldn’t have sex, and she wouldn’t have to worry about the consequences of being with him. She wouldn’t have to wonder, day after day, what he thought of her. She’d know beyond any doubt that he hated her.