"But how? How could that happen?' I sounded crazy and desperate. The bond couldn't be gone. It couldn't.
"I'm not entirely sure,' she admitted, her frown deepening. "I talked about it a lot with Sonya and, uh, Adrian. We think when I brought you back the first time, it was spirit alone that held you back from the land of the dead and that kept you tied to me. This time ... you nearly died again. Or maybe you did for a moment. Only, you and your body fought your way back. It was you who got out, with no help from spirit. And once that happened ...' She shrugged. "Like I said, we're only guessing. But Sonya thinks once your own strength broke you away, you didn't need any help being pulled back from death. You did it on your own. And when you freed yourself of spirit, you freed yourself from me. You didn't need a bond to keep you with the living.'
It was crazy. Impossible. "But if ... if you're saying I escaped the land of the dead, I'm not, like, immortal or anything, am I?'
Lissa laughed again. "No, we're certain of that. Sonya explained it, saying anything alive can die, and as long as you've got an aura, you're alive. Strigoi are immortal but not alive, so they don't have auras and--'
The world spun. "I'll take your word for it. I think maybe I do need to lie down.'
"That's probably a good idea.'
I gently eased myself onto my back. Desperately needing distraction from what I'd just learned--because it was still too surreal, still impossible to process--I eyed my surroundings. The lush room was bigger than I'd previously realized. It kept going and going, branching into other rooms. It was a suite. Maybe an apartment. I could just make out a living room with leather furniture and a flat screen TV. "Where are we are?'
"In palace housing,' she replied.
"Palace housing? How'd we end up here?'
"How do you think?' she asked dryly.
"I ...' I couldn't work my mouth for a moment. I needed no bond to realize what had happened. Another impossibility had occurred while I'd been out of it. "Crap. They had the election, didn't they? They elected you queen, once Jill was there to stand in for your family.'
She shook her head and almost laughed. "My reaction was a little stronger than "crap,' Rose. Do you have any idea what you've done?'
She looked anxious, stressed, and totally overwhelmed. I wanted to be serious and comforting for her sake ... but I could feel a goofy grin spreading over my face. She groaned.
"You're happy.'
"Liss, you were meant for this! You're better than any of the other candidates.'
"Rose!' she cried. "Running for queen was supposed to be a diversion. I'm only eighteen.'
"So was Alexandra.'
Lissa shook her head in exasperation. "I'm so sick of hearing about her! She lived centuries ago, you know. I think people died when they were thirty back then. So she was practically middle-aged.' I caught hold of her hand. "You're going to be great. It doesn't matter how old you are. And it's not like you have to call meetings and analyze law books all on your own, you know. I mean, I'm sure not going to do any of that, but there are other smart people. Ariana Szelsky didn't make the last test, but you know she'll help if you ask her to. She's still on the Council, and there are others you can rely on. We just have to find them. I believe in you.'
Lissa sighed and looked down, her hair hanging forward in a curtain. "I know. And part of me is excited, like this will restore my family's honor. I think that's what's saved me from a total breakdown. I didn't want to be queen, but if I have to ... then I'm going to do it right. I feel like ... like I have the world at my fingertips, like I can do so much good. But I'm so afraid of messing up too.' She looked up sharply. "And I'm not giving up on the rest of my life either. I guess I'm going to be the first queen in college.'
"Cool,' I said. "You can IM with the Council from campus. Maybe you can command people to do your homework.'
She apparently didn't think the joke was as funny as I did. "Going back to my family. Rose ... how long did you know about Jill?'
Damn. I'd known this part of the conversation would eventually be coming. I averted my eyes. "Not really that long. We didn't want to stress you until we knew it was real,' I added hastily.
"I can't believe ...' She shook her head. "I just can't believe it.'
I had to go on her tone, not the bond. It was so strange, like losing one of my key senses. Sight. Hearing. "Are you upset?'
"Of course I am! How can you be surprised?'
"I figured you'd be happy ...'
"Happy to find out my dad cheated on my mom? Happy to have a sister I hardly know? I've tried to talk to her, but ...' Lissa sighed again. "It's so weird. Almost weirder than suddenly being queen. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to think of my father. And I sure as hell don't know what to do with her.'
"Love them both,' I said softly. "They're your family. Jill's great, you know. Get to know her. Be excited.'
"I don't know if I can. I think you're more of a sister to me than she'll ever be.' Lissa stared off at nothing. "And of all people ... I was convinced for so long that there was something going on between her and Christian.'
"Well, out of all the worries in your world, that's one you can let go because it's not true.' But within her comment was something dark and sad. "How isChristian?'
She turned back to me, her eyes full of pain. "He's having a hard time. I am too. He visits her. Tasha. He hates what she did, but ... well, she's still his family. It hurts him, but he tries to hide it. You know how he is.'
"Yeah.' Christian had spent a good portion of his life masking dark feelings with snark and sarcasm. He was a pro at fooling others about how he truly felt.