Dimitri had no words for that and answered instead by bringing his mouth to mine. We kissed, lightly at first, and the sweetness of the moment overpowered any pain I felt. The intensity had just barely picked up when he pulled away.
"Hey, what gives?' I asked.
"You're still recovering,' he chastised. "You might think you're back to normal, but you aren't.'
"This is normal for me. And you know, I thought with all this freedom and self- discovery and expression of our love stuff that we could finally stop with the whole Zen master wisdom and practical advice crap.'
This got me an outright grin. "Roza, that's not going to happen. Take it or leave it.'
I pressed a kiss to his lips. "If it means getting you, I'll take it.' I wanted to kiss him again and prove who really did have greater self-control, but that damned thing called reality set in. "Dimitri ... for real, what happens to us?'
"Life,' he said easily. "It goes on. We go on. We're guardians. We protect and maybe change our world.'
"No pressure,' I remarked. "But what's the "we' and "guardians' part? I was pretty sure we were out of that career path.'
"Mmm.' He cupped my face, and I thought he might try another kiss. I hoped he would. "Along with our pardons, we received our guardian status again.'
"Even you? They believe you're not a Strigoi?' I exclaimed.
He nodded.
"Huh. Even if I got my name cleared, my ideal future was that we'd get filing jobs near each other.'
Dimitri moved closer to me, his eyes sparkling with a secret. "It gets better: you're Lissa's guardian.'
"What?' I almost pulled away. "That's impossible. They'd never ...'
"They did. She'll have others, so they probably figured it was okay to let you hang around if someone else could keep you in line,' he teased.
"You're not ...' A lump formed in my stomach, a reminder of a problem that had plagued us so long ago. "You're not one of her guardians too, are you?' It had constantly been a concern, that conflict of interest. I wanted him near me. Always. But how could we watch Lissa and put her safety first if we were worried about each other? The past was returning to torment us.
"No, I have a different assignment.'
"Oh.' For some reason, that made me a little sad too, even though I knew it was the smarter choice.
"I'm Christian's guardian.'
This time I did sit up, doctor's orders or no. Stitches tugged in my chest, but I ignored the sharp discomfort. "But that's ... that's practically the same thing!' Dimitri sat up too and seemed to be enjoying my shock, which was really kind of cruel, seeing as I'd almost died and everything. "A little. But they won't be together every moment, especially with her going to Lehigh. He's not going ... but they'll keep coming back to each other. And when they do, so will we. It's a good mix. Besides ...' He grew serious again. "I think you've proved to everyone that you're willing to put her life first.'
I shook my head. "Yeah, but no one was shooting at you. Only her.' I said it lightly, but it did make me wonder: what would I do if they were both in trouble?Trust him, a voice in my head said. Trust him to take care of himself. He'll do the same for you. I eyed Dimitri, recalling a shadow in my periphery back in the ballroom. "You followed when I jumped in front of Lissa, didn't you? Who were you going for? Me or her?'
He studied me for several long seconds. He could have lied. He could have given the easy answer by saying he'd intended to push both of us out of the way--if that was even possible, which I didn't recall. But Dimitri didn't lie. "I don't know, Roza. I don't know.'
I sighed. "This isn't going to be easy.'
"It never is,' he said, pulling me into his arms. I leaned against his chest and closed my eyes. No, it wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it. As long as we were together, it would be worth it.
We sat like that for a long time, until a discrete knock at the half-open door broke us apart. Lissa stood in the doorway.
"Sorry,' she said, her face shining with joy when she saw me. "Should have put a sock on the door. Didn't realize things were getting hot and heavy.'
"No avoiding it,' I said lightly, clasping Dimitri's hand. "Things are always hot with him around.'
Dimitri looked scandalized. He'd never held back when we were in bed together, but his private nature wouldn't let him even hint about such matters to others. It was mean, but I laughed and kissed his cheek.
"Oh, this is going to be fun,' I said. "Now that everything's out in the open.'
"Yeah,' he said. "I got a pretty "fun' look from your father the other day.' He gave Lissa a quick, knowing glance and then stood up. Leaning down, he kissed the top of my head. "I should go and let you two talk.'
"Will you be back?' I asked as he moved to the door.
He paused and smiled at me, and those dark eyes answered my questions and so much more. "Of course.'
Lissa took his spot, sitting on the bed's edge. She hugged me gingerly, no doubt worried about my injuries. She then scolded me for sitting up, but I didn't care. Happiness surged through me. I was so glad she was okay, so relieved, and--
And I had no idea how she felt.
The bond was gone. And not like during the jail escape, when she'd put the wall up. There was simply nothing there between us. I was with myself, completely and utterly alone, just as I had been years ago. My eyes widened, and she laughed.
"I wondered when you'd notice,' she said.
"How ... how is this possible?' I was frozen and numb. The bond. The bond was gone. I felt like my arm had been amputated. "And how do you know?' She frowned. "Part of it's instinct ... but Adrian saw it. That our auras aren't connected anymore.'