Yadriel scoffed, not sure if Julian was making fun of him, but … his humor did make the whole thing less … scary. He would make himself an anxious mess, loitering outside the boys’ bathroom and trying to work up the nerve to go inside, and he always ended up flaking out.
But Julian’s bad jokes, easy smile, and nonchalance seemed to suck all the stress out of the situation. Or at the very least, dilute it.
“Fine,” Yadriel huffed, as if he were doing Julian a favor. He headed for the bathroom, and Julian moved to follow him. “What are you doing?” Yadriel demanded.
“What?”
“You can’t go in there with me!” Yadriel balked.
“It’s not like I’m gonna watch you!”
Yadriel spluttered. “I—I have a shy bladder!”
Julian threw his head back, letting out a deep belly laugh. “Oh my God!”
“I can’t go if I know you can hear me!”
“Okay, okay, okay!” Julian laughed, a big grin on his face. “I’ll stand guard,” he said, tapping two fingers to his temple like a salute. “Should I cover my ears? Sing a song?”
“Shut up!” With that, Yadriel stomped inside before he could change his mind.
And suddenly, he was standing in the boys’ bathroom for the first time in his life. Yadriel looked around. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but after all the buildup it was a little … lackluster. And smelly.
But he was a boy, and if this was what their bathrooms were like, then he’d get used to it.
When Yadriel walked back out, Julian was leaning against the wall, still looking far too amused.
“You’re not covering your ears.” Yadriel glared. “And I didn’t hear you singing.”
“My singing voice is too sexy,” Julian said with a solemn shake of his head. “You’d fall in love with me, like, immediately.”
Yadriel rolled his eyes and started back toward class.
Julian fell into step next to him. “Was it everything you’d dreamed it would be?” he asked.
“Truly magical,” Yadriel drawled in response, but he was grinning, despite his best efforts. Excitement tingled up and down his arms. He’d officially used the men’s restroom for the first time, and at school! Sure, there wasn’t anyone else around, other than Julian, but it still felt like a huge step closer to being himself. Yadriel glanced to Julian from the corner of his eye. “Thanks.”
Julian smiled. “Any time, patrón.”
* * *
When school was over, they met Maritza by the parking lot before heading to the cemetery.
“That was the most fun I’ve ever had at school, ever,” Julian said, walking backward down the sidewalk.
“Oh, really?” Maritza asked, patting at her braids and wincing. “Did you learn a lot?”
Julian laughed. “No, but there was other stuff to keep me occupied,” he said, before twisting around and heading down the street.
“Uh-huh,” Maritza hummed, looking over at Yadriel with a smirk. “I’m sure there was.”
Yadriel scowled, hating how hot his cheeks felt. “Shut up,” he hissed under his breath.
Luckily, Julian was up ahead and out of earshot, yanking leaves off bushes as he walked by.
“Hey, I’m not hating,” Maritza said, at least having the decency to keep her voice down. “I mean, having a ghost boyfriend might be kinda hot.” Her knowing smile was obnoxious.
He shoved her and, great, now his armpits were actually sweating. “Itza!”
She laughed, very pointedly looking Julian up and down from behind. “He has been practicing his ghost moves, maybe—”
“Oh my God, stop!” Yadriel said sharply, unable to take the teasing anymore. “It’s not like that!” he huffed. “It can’t be like that.” His eyes trailed off to Julian, watching as he hopped up onto a short brick wall surrounding someone’s house and walked along it.
Yadriel tried to stomp down the fluttery, twisty feeling, the low rush in his stomach.
“I mean, might as well enjoy it while he’s around,” Maritza whispered, giving him a little nudge with her elbow.
“He might not be around for much longer,” Yadriel snapped. The butterflies were quickly replaced with queasy churning. “Especially not after last night.”
Maritza frowned. “What happened last night?”
Keeping his voice down, Yadriel told her about Julian’s unbecoming the night before. How he’d writhed in pain. The blood on his shirt. The way he’d disappeared. The memories turned the blood in his veins icy.
When he finished, Maritza’s teasing smile and knowing looks were gone, replaced with one of pure alarm. “That’s so creepy.”
Yadriel shivered. “Yeah, no kidding.”
“I don’t think he should stay with you anymore.”
It was so unexpected, Yadriel came to a halt. “Wait, what?”
“Maybe we should leave him somewhere during the night, like back in the old church?” she suggested, her eyes trained on Julian’s back.
Yadriel frowned at her, suddenly feeling both defensive and protective of Julian. Exhaustion and frayed nerves did not help his mood. “What are you talking about?”
Maritza made a frustrated sound at the back of her throat. “What if he loses it and goes all dark spirit on you in the middle of the night?”
Yadriel shook his head. “Julian wouldn’t hurt me.”
“Julian wouldn’t,” she said. “But if he goes maligno, he’s not Julian anymore.”
Yadriel turned away from Maritza’s knowing look. “Let’s just get through today, okay?” Yadriel said. “Luca said he’d meet us right after school.”
Maritza sighed but didn’t argue further.
Yadriel watched as Julian dragged his fingers along a chain-link fence. He squinted in the sunlight, grinning as a cherry-red muscle car drove by, cumbia blaring from the speakers. Julian was happy in the city, Yadriel could see that. He liked the noise and the bustle and the people. It suited him. It was where he belonged. Not dead and in the afterlife, no matter how nice it was.
For the first time, it struck him how terribly unfair this all was. He hadn’t really thought about what it meant, when all of this was over, after he released Julian’s spirit and he was gone.
He didn’t deserve death. He didn’t deserve any of this. Julian had literally died protecting his friends. And Yadriel was quite certain he didn’t deserve Julian. There was no reason for Julian to help him find Miguel, but he did it anyway, and there was no way Yadriel could ever repay him.
He gave everything and expected nothing in return.
Yadriel’s heart ached.
No, none of them deserved Julian Diaz.
FIFTEEN
“Gotta check in with my parents and grab the dogs,” Maritza said as she crossed the street to her house. “You two wait out here. They would ground me for life if they knew I was hanging out with a spirit.”
Julian feigned offense.
She ran across the street and into the house. The screen door slammed shut behind her.
Yadriel collapsed against a nearby wall, letting his head fall back against cool brick as he closed his eyes. Sirens wailed in the distance. A loud drill sounded from the construction on the main road. He could hear Maritza and her family’s raised voices—not yelling, just vying to be heard.
“Hey.” Julian’s quiet voice tickled his ear. “Don’t fall asleep, you might topple over, and I can’t catch you.”
“Mmm,” Yadriel hummed, peeking one eye open.
Julian leaned his shoulder against the wall, grinning down at him.
“It’s your fault I’m this tired,” Yadriel grumbled.
“Hey, hey, hey, don’t use me as your escape goat.”
Yadriel exhaled a tired laugh. “Scapegoat, Jules.”
A dimple pressed into Julian’s left cheek as he dragged his teeth over his bottom lip.
Yadriel’s heartbeat fluttered in his throat. He forced his eyes closed, trying to push Maritza’s words out of his head. Don’t do it, he told himself. The only thing more stupid than going around his family’s back, summoning spirits, and trying to solve multiple murders would be falling for a dead boy.
Especially if it was Julian Diaz.
A moment later, the sound of a screen door slamming and the jingling of collars announced Maritza’s return. “We’re good!” she said, Donatello dragged her forward so he could slobber over Yadriel’s hand, whacking himself in the face with his tail as he wiggled with excitement. Michelangelo sat back on his haunches and burped. Maritza rolled her eyes and waved her hand in front of her nose. “Jesus, gordito.”
“She didn’t mean it,” Yadriel said, giving Michelangelo a good scratch.
“This is for you.” She tossed Yadriel a can, and he clumsily caught it. It was a sugar-free Red Bull. “Paola drinks, like, two a day.”
Yadriel cracked it open.
“Oh man, I love that stuff!” Julian whined.
“You hopped up on an energy drink sounds like a literal nightmare,” Maritza told him.
Yadriel took a swig and nearly choked. “Ugh!” he coughed. “It’s disgusting.”