Yadriel knew very little about Rio, but, from what he’d heard, something told him Julian was completely wrong. He doubted his brother was better off with him gone.
“What happened to your mom?” Julian ventured.
It was an obvious question. One that Yadriel was surprised Julian hadn’t asked already. He must’ve really been holding himself back. But that didn’t mean he was going to give him the details. “Car accident,” he said curtly.
Julian frowned. “Why didn’t someone just heal her?”
Yadriel’s whole body tensed. His stomach twisted.
“Or, like, bring her back to life or something?” Julian scratched at his head.
“Brujas can only heal you if your heart’s still beating,” Yadriel told him. “You have to be alive. And brujos haven’t been able to bring people back to life since—”
Julian sat bolt upright. “Wait, y’all can really bring people back to life? I was joking!”
“Sssh!” Yadriel hissed. “Could—we can’t do it anymore. Like I told you, dilution of powers over time.”
“Still!” He flopped back onto the bed, chuckling. “That’s so badass.”
“Yeah, well, like I said, it required a lot of power.”
“So the people they brought back were, like, definitely zombies, right?”
Yadriel groaned. “Not the zombies again—”
“Evilly resurrecting someone from the dead can only lead to zombies! I know it; I read books,” Julian said.
Yadriel cocked an eyebrow.
“Okay, okay, okay, but I’ve seen enough movies to know how this goes down!” Julian corrected through barely suppressed chuckles.
Yadriel scrubbed his hands down his face. “You’re impossible!” he said, laughter jumping in his chest. He tucked his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.
“I kind of made a mess of things, huh?” Yadriel said. He wasn’t fishing for sympathy, just stating the obvious. Keeping secrets from his family. Putting his foot in his mouth on more than one occasion. Completely botching the conversation with Julian’s friends. More sneaking, more lies. He was in over his head.
“Yeah,” Julian agreed very matter-of-factly, not malicious or even teasing. “But now your mess is my mess, too.” He tilted his head toward Yadriel and spoke softly. “It’s bound to be easier if we’re both cleaning it up, right?”
The dimples of his tired smile made Yadriel light-headed.
For the first time in a very long time, he didn’t feel like a lost cause. It was nice to have someone to talk to about this stuff. He had his tío and Maritza, of course, but there were still degrees of separation between their experiences. When he came out, there was a lot of legwork and explaining to his tío and Maritza about who he was. It took time and a lot of emotional work on Yadriel’s part.
But with Julian, there was no training involved because he already understood him. It was … easy. Yadriel hadn’t known it could be that painless and simple for someone to see him as he was.
For a moment, they both lay there, quiet laughter mingling with the soft music playing from the iPhone.
Julian let out a heavy, annoyed sigh. “So, I guess I give in.”
“Give in to what?”
“We can go see Rio tomorrow.”
Yadriel turned to look at him. He didn’t look very pleased. “Really?”
“Only to see if he knows anything, if the cops called him or whatever, and to grab one of my shirts,” Julian said firmly. “And just to…” He trailed off. “I don’t know. Just to make sure he’s okay, before I leave.”
Those last few words halted Yadriel’s thoughts.
Before he left.
That’s right. This was all so Yadriel could release Julian to the afterlife. Where he would stay, because Julian was just a normal boy. When he crossed over, that would be that. He wasn’t a brujo. There would be no ofrenda to welcome him back during Día de Muertos. For Julian, death was finite. When his dad died, he didn’t get to see him again. And now, Julian’s friends and his brother would never see him again, either.
“All things considered,” Yadriel ventured, “you’re taking this whole being-dead thing pretty well.”
Julian exhaled a small laugh. “I don’t know, I never expected to live that long, anyways,” he confessed.
Yadriel didn’t know what to say. There was something so profoundly sad in how casually he said it.
“But I was thinking more like thirty, never really pictured myself older than that,” he explained. “Sixteen minus a couple weeks seems a bit young.” His lips tilted into a crooked smile. “The ghost part was definitely a surprise.” Julian rolled onto his side, propping the side of his face in his hand. “Can I possess you?”
A surprised laugh bucked in Yadriel chest. “No. You’re thinking demons.”
“I mean, it’s getting closer to Día de Muertos, right? You said us dead folks get stronger around then.” Julian leaned over him, eyes narrowed, his face only a few inches away.
Yadriel could see the faint shadow along his jaw. There was a tiny scar on his right eyebrow.
“If I concentrate really hard…” His finger hovered above Yadriel. “Could I touch you?”
Heat flooded Yadriel’s face. His chest fluttered dangerously. “I don’t think so, Jules.” A shaky laugh quaked his words.
Dimples cut deep into Julian’s cheeks. He tipped his head to the side. “Why not?”
“Not enough brainpower.”
Julian’s laugh was open and unabashed. “Ssh, stop!” he ordered through his chuckles. “I’m concentrating!”
He shook out his hand before hovering it over Yadriel again. Julian’s face scrunched up, lips parted.
Yadriel held his breath. His fingers knotted into the blanket under him. A thrill tickled down his spine to the tips of his toes. It was disorienting, filling his head with dangerous thoughts. He wanted to feel Julian’s hands ghosting over his skin. Wondered what Julian’s short hair would feel like under his fingertips, what his skin would smell like, or if his lips felt as soft as they looked.
But it was silly and stupid, because you couldn’t touch dead boys, and they couldn’t touch you back.
Julian lowered his hand, and for a moment, nothing happened.
“See?” Yadriel exhaled. The yearning ache devoured the hope in his chest. “You—”
But then he felt it. The shiver of the medal against his throat. The brush of an—admittedly, cold—finger across his skin.
Yadriel sucked in a gasp and clamped his hand over his neck.
Julian jerked back. “Did you feel it?” he asked, eyes wide.
“I did!”
“Yes!” Julian’s smile was brilliant.
They both broke out into laughter. The fluttery, half-delirious sort that made Yadriel feel a little drunk.
“See?” Julian jutted his chin to a proud angle.
Yadriel rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
“I told you, I—”
But Julian never finished his sentence. For a second, he froze.
“Jules?” Yadriel started to sit up.
Julian sucked in a deep, rattling breath. He collapsed back onto the bed.
Purrcaso sprang from the window and darted out of sight.
Yadriel pushed himself up. His heart hammered in his chest. “Hey, what’s happening—?”
Julian’s jaw went slack, his mouth open wide. His eyes rolled back into his head, and his entire body spasmed. No, it wasn’t spasming, it was shaking, vibrating. Julian flickered in and out of existence, like a light shorting out.
“Jules!” Yadriel’s hands hovered above him, not knowing what to do or what was happening. All he could do was watch as Julian’s body flashed in and out of existence.
It took him a moment to see the red stain on the chest of Julian’s white shirt. It started as a dark smudge, but it slowly bloomed larger, appearing in flashes.
More quivering. Just a shadow of Julian.
Then he disappeared and didn’t come back.
Yadriel heart lodged in his throat.
“Jules!”
His eyes frantically searched the bed. Yadriel fumbled, pressing his hands against the mattress as if he could feel him there, that maybe Julian was just invisible, but he was gone. There was nothing. Not even a wash of cold against his fingers.
Just as quickly as he’d vanished, Julian blinked back into existence. A gasp ripped through his throat and his eyes flew open.
Yadriel sprang back, nearly falling off the bed.
Julian sucked in breath, his hand clutching his shirt where the blood seeped. But then he started to fade.
It was like someone had cranked down his saturation and opacity. Julian seemed duller now, his edges slightly more blurred than before. The red stain faded to nothing.
“What—what the hell happened?” Julian heaved, breathless.
Yadriel could only shake his head.
“What was that?” Panic cracked his voice.
Yadriel stared down at his hands. They trembled uncontrollably. “I—I don’t know.”
FOURTEEN
“You—you disappeared!” Yadriel stared at Julian, afraid to blink in case he vanished again. “Where did you go?!”