Well, there’s another first.
Lennon
After a life of nothing but heartache and desolation, he has it in him to laugh.
I SHAMELESSLY GAWK as the joyful sound expands around us, chasing away any lingering misery. My jaw drops further when his infectious tune grows louder, feeding my aching soul. My eyes devour every jolly shake from Ryker’s muscular chest. Happiness explodes and spills over, soaking into my skin while stealing my breath. The moment stretches and swells until we’re floating in a bubble of bliss, anything else blurs and fades into the distant background. Ryker laughing satisfies all senses, the epitome of a full body experience.
Is this real?
The paper crinkles in my trembling fist, calling attention to the journey ahead of us. Not just the one jotted down between the lines but the life we’re slowly building together. Now is the time to celebrate what we’ve found despite it all. Our kindred spirits found each other, through years of pain and suffering alone.
I tuck my chin as my eyes mist for the billionth time this evening. I can’t seem to clog the emotional spigot, especially with Ryker spoon-feeding me reasons to cry. Whether the situation calls for it or not, I’ve always shed tears easily, and he’s probably thinking there’s something seriously wrong with my stability.
Who else cries this much?
I roll my eyes at that silly thought, considering we just talked about comparing ourselves to others. When I glance up through wet lashes and find Ryker’s lips tipped into a small smile, my concern melts away. He cares for me, weepy or not. I watch his calm ocean irises, content with the silence once the giggles taper off. His raw strength and power shines from every part of him, but I see it most from his glittering gaze.
“What do you see?” His whisper startles me from my trance.
“Paradise,” I breathe, feeling weightless. “Everything good and right and meant to be.” I blink a few times to clear my mind. “We’re together on a tropical island with white sand and crystal-clear water waiting to provide comfort. The sun blazes down, toasting every bit of bare skin with a golden glow, giving limitless warmth. Gentle waves lap against the shore, offering loyal protection and devotion. Endless possibilities and freedom and . . . you,” swirls from my lungs and I shiver slightly.
His Adam’s apple bobs with a heavy swallow. “Is that island on there?” Ryker’s voice is hoarse as he juts his chin to our list, being mercifully crushed by my hand. “Because I’d like to take you.”
“I’m already there,” I say smoothly.
The air shifts with my accelerating pulse, longing blankets the both of us. I tip closer, my palm over his pounding heart, before reaching to his flushed face. He smells spicy, like cinnamon candy, and I want to taste him. Badly.
Ryker’s cool palm travels up to cup my fiery cheek. “Can I kiss you?”
“No need to ask,” I reply and he pulls me into him.
Our noses bump and I giggle while his laughter puffs lightly against my lips. The amusement dissolves when his mouth touches mine, so delicately at first that I shiver from the tease. Ryker’s tongue tickles along my bottom lip before exploring deeper. I shift higher to get a better angle and soon find myself straddling his lap. Our mouths fuse while hands wander willingly. My fingers drag up his neck into his cropped hair while his skim down my bare shoulders, goosebumps rising in his wake. Ryker’s arms thread around my lower back, holding tight, as I rock against him. His body is taut, practically vibrating, as I nip his lower lip. I want to drive him crazy, exactly as he’s doing to me.
Is it working?
Ryker groans into my mouth and I swallow the warm air like a drug. I ingest his pleasure greedily, wanting every drop he’s willing to give. His flavor is intoxicating and my tongue strokes along his for another burst.
When he switches into another gear, Ryker rolls until we’re falling flat on the couch. I bounce against the plush cushions and an unladylike oomph deflates my chest. We’re about to topple over the edge when his palm slams to the floor, halting our clumsy descent.
“In my mind, that move was graceful as hell. Are you okay?”
I nod vigorously and pull his mouth back to mine.
Less talking, more touching.
Ryker grinds against me, leaving no space between us, while our slick lips slide together. His whole body is hard against me, his pecs firm and abs flexed in effort, not to mention what’s rocking below his waist. I’m pushed deeper into the soft padding and my back bows, searching for more of him. My palms sneak under the hem of his shirt and beg for more.
Suddenly he rips his mouth from mine.
“Mini golf! We should get going.” His rapid breathing matches my own.
“Pretty sure that can wait until later,” I murmur while trying to yank him down. Ryker resists and lightly circles my wrists to loosen the tight grip on his shirt. I release him with a huff, not ashamed to be pouting. “I was having fun.”
“And you think I wasn’t?” He questions incredulously with a deep crease in his brow.
I squint and wrinkle my nose. “So, why did we stop?”
“I only have so much control, Lennon. I mean, look at you.” Ryker blows out a heavy exhale as his sparkling eyes dart along my features. “You’re my every waking dream laid out before me, but this isn’t how our first time should be.”
“There’s other things we can do . . .” I begin to suggest when he cuts me off.
“I want to touch you, feel every part of you underneath my fingertips but not on the fresh grave of my past. I’ve put those memories to rest tonight but the ghosts just left,” he explains carefully while rubbing along my forearms.
I scold myself as I look around as if I can see these invisible figures.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s been a very emotional evening and we should get out of this space for a while. Mini golf, here we come.” I smile and shimmy, trying to defuse the heat scorching my skin.
Ryker groans as he stands and tries adjusting himself secretly before helping me off the couch. While stretching, we take turns blushing while catching each other gawking at exposed slivers of flesh. I bite my lip, swollen from his kisses, before snatching up the list and my phone.
I smooth out the wrinkled sheet.
“We’ll have to re-write this if it keeps getting tossed around. Or I can just put it in here.” I wiggle the device in my hand.
“Nah, it’s perfect like that. A few folds and bruises add appeal, right?” He flicks a crinkled corner and smirks. I realize the hidden meaning and my stomach flutters at the dimple piercing his stubbled cheek.
Our fingers lace as we head out, ready to try our luck at miniature golf. When I was in middle school, a group of popular kids would always spend Friday nights at the local putt-putt. I wasn’t cool enough to get an invite, not that my parents would have let me go, but I was always curious what the fuss was about. That’s why it was the initial activity I thought of when jotting down ideas. My teenage self is silently squealing and very pleased to finally uncover the secret.
“This place has great reviews and isn’t too far away,” I say while putting the address in my map app after we’ve climbed into Ryker’s truck. We take off once the automated voice spits out directions and settle into compassionate silence.
My knee bounces wildly while I glance out the window, lost in random thoughts. I jolt slightly when Ryker’s palm rests on my thigh.
“Nervous?” he asks.
I swing my startled gaze to him. “No. Why would I be? This is going to be fun, right?”
“That’s kinda the point. Just making sure since you looked about ready to tuck and roll.” He glimpses at me from the corner of his eye.
My chuckle bubbles out.
“Um, that’s something I’m good with never attempting. Very funny, very funny.” I lay my hand on his.” I’m excited for this, that’s all. Maybe a tad concerned about making a fool of myself but hopefully you’ll be kind enough to let it slide.”
Ryker snorts as he guides the vehicle around a sharp curve, following the robotic lady’s commands. “Don’t worry, Sunshine. I’m sure you’re a natural.”
We found out he was super wrong after my first choppy swing about thirty minutes later. The small neon ball zipped over the short wooden wall so fast I figured it was running scared. The next five holes had a very similar outcome. I would line up, or attempt to, but the club never glided across the green with ease and the ball shot to the stratosphere. An enormous decorative clown mocked me for missing a shot. A surprisingly realistic T-rex blew smoke from his nose when I failed to sink the putt into his castle, and it became very evident mini golf was not my game.
Bless his heart, Ryker kept a straight face while I huffed and puffed in frustration. This was all in the name of a good time but I was turning this fun-tivity into a travesty. At least my date was holding his own—and stopping me from doing any permanent damage to the course. When my shot on the sixth hole ricochets into the water, Ryker takes pity on me.
“Wanna quit? No one said we have to finish. Maybe we should grab ice cream or do something else.” His lips quirk as his eyes twinkle.
I gasp and act affronted, over-the-top goading tone and all.