“That had nothing to do with me or with Jared, Mother! Daddy didn’t want me to know the truth about him!”
“Nina,” she breathed, “you don’t believe that.”
I could see my efforts were in vain; Cynthia wouldn’t help me. I escaped her apathetic eyes and fled to my Beemer. The rain poured relentlessly, and I was soaked by the time I entered the car. I sped down the street, the tires creating a wake behind them.
The farther I drove, the less I wanted to return to my dorm. Walking into Andrews would be admitting defeat. Worse, something deep inside of me knew that the second I stepped inside my room, I would begin a life without Jared.
When the street lights began to flicker, the rain tapped against my windshield in tiny crystals. Some of the roads had been blocked off by the flooding, and I was soon corral ed onto a dead end road. Through the gush of windblown rain, a bridge came into view just ahead of my car, arching high into the night sky.
I turned off my car and sat, mul ing over the last week. My feeble attempt to gain any control over the situation had ended dismal y. I hadn’t truly considered giving up until that very moment.
I pul ed my hat and gloves off and threw them on the seat beside me, deciding that the only option I truly had was to leave. But Jared would fol ow, he would have to, and I would take him away from his sister, his brother, and Lil ian. I gripped the steering wheel as the realization sunk in; I was trapped.
One of my gloves fel to the floorboard, drawing my attention to my purse. Barely peeking out, the sharp end of Jack’s letter opener glinted under the light of a lone street lamp. Without another thought, I grabbed it from my purse and shoved my way out of the car. The rain immediately blasted against me, but I planted my feet on the ground, determined to get Jared’s attention this time. I grabbed the handle of the letter opener as tightly as my freezing hands could manage and held it above me.
“He’l come,” I whispered.
With a loud cry, I shoved the golden spear into my back tire. It pierced the thick rubber, but not deep enough to do any damage. I used my foot to shove it in the rest of the way, and to my relief it made a loud hissing sound.
Icy rain soaked every inch of me, and my body began to tremble as the biting wind blew against my skin. After a few minutes, I shed my coat and threw it into the seat. My body shook uncontrol ably as rain pelted against me.
I waited.
When my sweater was soaked through, I yanked it over my head and threw it on top of my coat. Down to a long-sleeved cotton shirt, the rain felt like ice splinters driving into my bones. My teeth were chattering with such force that I opened my mouth to keep them from breaking. A puff of air escaped my mouth as a wind gust sent stinging rain tearing into my skin.
Stil , I waited.
Just when I thought I would col apse, a pair of headlights broke through the curtain of rain and came to an abrupt stop behind my car.
“Nina! What the hel are you doing?” Jared yel ed over the rain. He took off his coat and stepped toward me, but I backed away. “Do you know what hypothermia is? You’re going to freeze to death!” he said, shoving his coat toward me.
“I l-l-love you,” I said as my entire body shuddered.
“I heard,” Jared said, pressing his eyebrows together. “Let me take you home.” He held out his coat again, but I took another step back.
“Y-you l-listened t-t-to her!”
“I didn’t listen to her! If she fired me it would make it harder for me to protect you. Keeping you safe is my first priority. Now, please get in the car!”
“H-How would it make it h-h-harder if you’re with me?”
“We can talk about this when you’re out of the rain!”
I took another step back.
“Cynthia controls our funding!” Jared said in a desperate tone. “She funds our surveil ance, our weapons…everything. I could stil protect you, but not as wel . I couldn’t risk it!”
“So you’re j-just going to leave me, we’re g-going b-back to the way things were so you c-can buy more microphones and b-bul ets?”
Jared sighed. “That’s not what I meant. You’re too important not to use the best means available, Nina. I thought if I figured out a way for us…I was trying to figure something out.”
“You’re j-just s-saying that to g-g-get me to go back there!”
“I wouldn’t do that,” Jared said. He lifted his coat and I took another step back. His jaws tensed. “I made a mistake! I didn’t want to hurt you! I just needed some time to fix the mess I’ve made!”
I tried to turn the corners of my mouth up into somewhat of a smile. “I th-thought you didn’t make m-mistakes.”
With a desperate expression, Jared took a step toward me, groaning when I took another step back. “Don’t make me do this, Nina. Don’t make me force you. Please get in the car!”
“I’m not going b-back there,” I sputtered.
The rain poured down Jared’s face and streamed from his chin. “I wasn’t going to take you…,” he sighed, “I want you home with me!”
I watched him for a moment, trying to read his eyes.
“I wouldn’t lie to you,” he said, reaching for me. “I want to take you home.”
I sucked in a breath and nodded. Jared wasted no time wrapping me in his coat, but it was already soaked through. He lifted me into his arms and in the next second I was in his car.
Jumping behind the wheel, Jared cranked up the heater and then rubbed my arms with both hands. “Jesus, Nina, your lips are blue.”
He raced down streets that seemed more like rivers. I had just closed my eyes when he pul ed to the curb in front of the loft.
“Stay awake, Nina. Don’t go to sleep.”
Jared took the steps three at a time, unlocked his door and skipped more steps to the loft. He held me in one arm while he turned on the shower, and the steam immediately fil ed the room.
He lifted my stiff body into the shower and held me against him. I cried out as the water burned my icy skin. After a while, the quivering turned less violent. Once I was able to stand alone, Jared adjusted the temperature to a hotter setting.
I looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.”
Jared grimaced, his eyes glowing steel blue. “Let’s just get your temp up.”
He pul ed the gauze from my hand and inspected my wound, wincing before glaring down at me. I watched as he gently scrubbed the festering cut with a washcloth.
“You should have gotten stitches for this,” he grumbled. His jaw tensed as he rinsed the soap away.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, worried that it was resentment in his eyes instead of concern.
“Everything, Nina. I leave you alone for a week and you’ve got a deep, infected cut in your hand, you nearly broke your arm when you fel off the chair, and you almost froze to death...or drowned, I’m not sure what would have happened first.”
“I know. You have every right to be mad.”
“Mad? I’ve made myself believe that when the time came, I would be better at making you happy than anyone else…and look at you. I’ve made your life worse. You’re worried I’m angry with you? You should hate me for what I’ve done.”
I ran my aching fingers through his wavy, wet hair. He closed his eyes and sighed.
“I’ve missed you,” I whispered.