“That was before Beth cal ed everyone looking for you at three in the morning. It went that wel , huh?” he bristled.
I looked over at Chad and Tucker; this is what they were worried about.
Beth looked at Chad with an angry glare, and he shot her an apologetic smile.
“It wasn’t me, Babe!” he shrugged.
“Who was it?” she snarled.
Ryan rol ed his eyes. “It was Josh. What does it matter?”
Beth stomped to my side of the room in protest, crossing her arms.
“What business is it of Josh’s?” I said. “If everyone’s so worried about me upsetting you, why do they keep passing on my business?” I was being entirely too defensive, but I was stil raw from my earlier encounter with Cynthia.
“Maybe they want me to talk some sense into you.”
“Or is it because you’re making everyone think they have to choose sides?” I narrowed my eyes and mimicked Beth’s crossed arms. We must have looked ridiculous side by side; the Prom Queen Mafia.
“There are no sides.” Ryan’s nose wrinkled at my words.
“Real y?” I raised an eyebrow. My eyes darted to Chad and Tucker standing on one side of the room, and then at Beth beside me. “It sure seems like it to me.”
Ryan ground his teeth and looked out the window, clearly too angry to continue.
I sighed. “If you’d just give him a chance.”
Ryan sucked in a sharp breath, readying himself to real y let me have it, but he cringed and grabbed his bandaged wound, letting out a muffled grunt instead.
“Ryan…” I groaned, reaching for him. The pain in his face sent guilt burning through me. I took a step closer to his bed.
“Just go, Nina. Just…go,” he said with his eyes clinched shut.
I wanted to apologize, but nothing could make it right. I would never be sorry for being with Jared, and that was my only crime in Ryan’s eyes.
I trudged to the waiting room without another word. My perfect morning had transformed into an abysmal day.
Beth, Chad and Tucker returned after half an hour, and we walked to the jeep in silence. I tried to find solace in their conversation on the way back to campus, discussing Ryan’s improvement, his possible early release, and the funny stories they were trying to cheer him up with, but nothing helped. I was considered the scarlet letter when I had done nothing wrong.
As we pul ed into the campus parking lot, my cel phone buzzed. The display lit up and Ryan’s name and number scrol ed across the screen. I clambered from Chad’s jeep and pressed the phone to my ear.
“I’m sorry, Nina,” he blurted out apologetical y. “You were right; it’s no one’s business. I just didn’t expect…I don’t know what I expected.”
“It’s not what you think. I just fel asleep,” I explained.
“We’re friends, right, Nina?” he said. My insides wrenched at the exhausted sadness in his voice.
I covered my eyes with my hand. “Of course we are. I hate it that you’re mad at me.”
“I have no right to be. I just need to know that I didn’t ruin everything.”
Ruin everything? He was lying in a hospital bed healing from a wound that I could have prevented. The guilt was unbearable.
“I’m sorry,” I choked out.
“I’m a jealous idiot, Nina. Just…promise me you’l come back. I won’t be a jerk again, I swear.” His voice bordered on begging, and I was desperate to take away his regret.
“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”
Beth smiled after watching me stuff my cel phone into my purse. “I’m glad you two got it worked out.”
“Me, too,” I sighed.
Once in my room, I dialed Jared’s number. The tone repeated over and over in my ear and I was caught off-guard when the voicemail prompt beeped in my ear.
“H-hey, Jared,” I stuttered. I had ful y expected him to answer. “It’s Nina. I’m back from the hospital and just thought I’d give you a cal . Talk to you soon.”
After two hours, I became suspicious when I hadn’t heard from him. He had been so anxious about the outcome of my mother’s visit that I couldn’t imagine why he’d wait so long to return my cal . It didn’t help when I realized he had probably heard my message in real-time the second I’d left it.
Just as I had lost the fight to keep from cal ing him a second time, there was a knock at the door.
“Happy Saturday, ladies,” Kim said, bursting in.
“Hey Kim,” I said, disappointed.
“Wel . I love you, too.”
“She was expecting Jared,” Beth explained.
“I heard the date went wel .” Kim raised her eyebrows repeatedly.
“I fel asleep. He slept on the couch.”
Kim wrinkled her nose. “Bummer.” She immediately turned her attention to Beth. “What are we doing tonight?”
“Oh…Chad is taking me out. Sorry,” Beth said, not sounding the least bit sorry.
Kim smiled. “Oh wel , maybe you can have a more interesting time than Naughty Nina over there.”
I stiffened, knowing that Jared or Claire could hear everything. I felt the blush span from col ar bone to crown.
“Whoa! Just kidding, Nigh!” Kim said, mistaking my embarrassment for anger.
Kim forced me to rehash the entire evening. It was difficult for me to explain the length of time that I’d spent there and leave out everything that Jared had told me. I kept checking my phone, even though I knew no one had cal ed.
Beth discussed the juicy details of our earlier visit to the hospital, which seemed to intrigue Kim.
“What do you expect? He’s crazy about her,” Kim said. “I know you real y like Jared, Nigh, but Ryan’s a good guy, too.”
“I know,” I said, looking at my phone again.
“Who are you expecting to cal ? You’ve been checking your phone like a crack addict waiting on her dealer,” Kim chided.
“Kim!” I wailed, my face burning again.
“What is with you, today? I thought you slept last night,” Kim asked, confused.
“I did. I just wish you would keep your mouth shut!”
“Nigh, we’re in your room. Who’s going to hear?” Kim looked at Beth like I’d gone insane.
“No one,” I said. “You just…nothing. I have to go.” I grabbed my coat, shoved my phone in my purse and headed out the door. I wished that Jared had forgone the microphone part of the truth. I didn’t feel comfortable having a normal conversation in my room.
By Monday, I stil hadn’t heard from Jared. It was heartbreaking that he was somewhere close, yet he refused to speak to me. Even after everything Jared had said, my thoughts continued to return to one horrible prospect: that for some reason after he’d dropped me off, he realized how unworthy I was of the adoration he’d felt for so long.
The week dragged on and I found the only place I felt somewhat normal was at the hospital. I escaped campus day after day, feeling I could final y breathe the moment I sat at Ryan’s bedside. We were nearly caught up on al of his homework by the time he final y broached the subject.
“Are you going to tel me what’s been going on with you or not?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked with a contrived smile.
“Nina. This is me you’re talking to.”