And thus I saw quite clearly that he was shirtless, wearing a pair of loose, lightweight trousers with a string tied under his navel to hold them up.
At the sight of all of it (though I had to admit, my eyes got stuck on his flat stomach, the ridges that defined it, and the trail of thick, black hair that led from his unusual sleeping trousers to his navel), my mouth went dry.
“Baby, you okay?” Noc asked.
I jerked my eyes up to his face, saw his hair mussed and fought the urge to lift my hands and smooth it.
Or muss it further.
With effort, I stayed focused.
“The ceremony was tonight.”
I was standing in the hall and then I was not.
Noc grabbed my hand, yanked me into his room and closed the door. He didn’t hesitate to guide me straight to the fire to stand in front of it so it could warm us both.
Once he got us there, he also didn’t hesitate to draw me near to him and say, “I know. That’s why I asked if you’re okay. You look…” his head tipped to the side as his scrutiny on my face intensified, “wired.”
“Wired?”
“Jazzed. Hyper. Agitated. Edgy. Alert.”
I leaned closer to him. “I do think I am all of those, Noc. But in a good way.”
He continued to study my face. “So it went okay?”
I nodded fervently. “It was…I was…”
How to explain the unexplainable?
There was no way except understanding Noc would listen and do so closely even if I couldn’t find the right words.
Thus I sallied forth, “I was very anxious. I did not wish to have anything of hers but the word ‘absorb’…” I shook my head. “That concerned me the most. To have her inside me in any way…” I didn’t finish that thought but Noc’s expression told me he understood what I was communicating so I carried on, “But it was…I felt her and…and then it was me, it was what’s inside me…” Again I couldn’t finish so I pulled slightly away, lifted up my hand and whispered, “Here, I’ll show you.”
I focused on the quickening inside me and that was all I had to do before I felt it surge up my spine, through my frame, tingling in my scalp and fingertips and the blue sparks drifted up lazily from my palm.
“Gotta say, sweetheart, as freaky as that is, it’s still fuckin’ cool,” Noc muttered, and I looked from my hand to his face, now illuminated in blue, making his eyes even more extraordinary, his gaze riveted to my palm.
“It sparked red when it happened,” I shared, and he looked to me. “When Valentine gave the magic to me. It was her. It was Mother. I felt her. The ugliness. The darkness. But it was me,” I lifted my hand, the blue still sparking, “that forced her out. Took over. See?” My hand rose another inch. “That’s just me. No red. All blue. It’s all mine. And look, Noc,” my hand rose further but my voice lowered with reverence, “don’t you think it’s beautiful?”
He only glanced back to my hand before his gaze again caught mine.
“Yeah, baby,” he whispered. “It’s fuckin’ gorgeous.”
I smiled at him.
He smiled back and his attention drifted again to the sparks.
“Can I touch it?” he asked, and instantly I closed my hand and the magic disappeared.
Noc returned his eyes to me.
“I don’t know much about it,” I explained hastily as I didn’t want to hurt his feelings or deny him anything he wished to have. “It could be dangerous and I don’t wish to harm you.”
He nodded. “I get that.”
I smiled again. “Maybe when I know more, when I know if it’s safe, I’ll conjure it again and you can.”
Noc smiled again too. “That’d be cool.”
“I just, well, I just had to share.” I leaned back into him, lifting the hand that had sparked blue and wrapping it around the warm, silken skin covering hardness at his biceps. “It’s impossible to explain. Being out there with Valentine and Lavinia. Being given a gift I didn’t want but the instant I received it I knew how precious it was. Understanding more of who I am, what’s inside me, that there are women who have the same and they’re not like my mother. I don’t have words to describe the magnificence and I know it’s late. I shouldn’t have woken you but I just had to share it with someone. And you know who I am, what I have inside me. Outside of Josette, Valentine and Lavinia, you’re the only one. And I know I can trust you with all of it.”
“Yeah, you can,” he replied with a smile, but there was a firmness to his tone that I liked very much. This he coupled with resting a hand on the side of my waist and giving me a squeeze. “And seriously pleased you woke me up to share, sweetheart, and totally stoked to hear you dug the experience.”
I nodded up at him enthusiastically, not sure what “stoked” meant but I did know what “dug” meant thus affirmed, “I did, Noc. I very much did.”
He looked down at me with an indulgent expression.
We stood standing close, staring at each other and touching lightly for some time before I realized neither of us was speaking.
Suddenly feeling awkward, I cast a glance at his disheveled bed, took my hand from his arm and stepped back, forcing Noc’s hand to fall from my waist.
My eyes to the rug at my side, I stated, “I woke you, now I should let you sleep.”
“We could go raid the kitchens,” he curiously suggested.
I looked back to him. “Pardon?”