Therefore, hearing it now, I was irked at myself.
I’d barely sat and tossed the napkin at the waiting place setting over my lap before a footman came forward to pour my coffee.
I prepared it with cream and one sugar and had taken a sip, regarding my sister-in-law, who kept her head studiously bent to her plate as she fixedly scraped up the last of her crêpes.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked.
She lifted her eyes to me for a scant second before returning them to her plate and answered, “The palace has comfortable beds.”
I decided that meant yes.
“And Timofei? Did he have a good night?” I queried.
Her glance lasted longer before she put down her fork and reached for her coffee cup, avoiding my eyes. “He was restless. He’s not woken us like this repeatedly in the night since he was first born. I hope the queen was right and he’ll grow out of it.”
“I’m sure she is. She’s raised her own child, as you know,” I replied, though the child she’d raised was not the one currently abiding at the palace, but that was beside the point.
“Of course,” Brikkita mumbled, taking a sip of coffee, her eyes aimed away from me.
“Is Kristian arriving at breakfast soon?” I pressed on.
“I hope so,” she said, and this, I was sure had more than one meaning.
“Mm,” I murmured, having used all my available discourse and finding myself in the uncomfortable position of having no more, considering the fact I knew not what interested her because I’d never bothered to find out.
The footman saved me, asking, “Would you like me to tell Cook to prepare crêpes for you, milady, or do you wish to attend the buffet?”
“The buffet, I think,” I decided. “But fresh toast would be well received.”
The footman nodded, gave a slight bow with one arm behind his back and retreated to a door that undoubtedly led to stairs that went to the kitchen.
I took another sip of my coffee, exited my chair, walked to the buffet and made my selections.
I was back at my seat, nibbling my food, the footman having returned with my toast, and I was finding I was not enjoying breakfast in the slightest. For having your sister-in-law sit opposite you, alone together for the first time when I had no ulterior motives but instead wished to find some avenue to start a different sort of relationship, was exceptionally awkward.
It would not be surprising, but utterly shocking when Brikkita piped up, and instead of me doing it, she took up these same reins.
“I hope you don’t mind me saying…” she began and my eyes went to hers.
She was casting a quick peek at the footman and I waited as patiently as I could for her to continue.
Finally, she seemed to feel safe in turning her attention to me but when she spoke again, her voice had lowered.
“My husband has shared with me much of his history.”
I put down my fork, reached again to my coffee cup and held it aloft, keeping my gaze locked to hers. I nodded once, slowly, an indication for her to go on.
She did so.
“When I say much, what I mean is all of it,” she clarified.
“You are his wife,” I stated carefully. “This comes as no surprise.”
“In doing so,” she sallied forth swiftly, still speaking low but now doing it like she wished she wasn’t, “he of course had to share about you.”
“Of course,” I agreed.
She licked her lips and pressed them together.
I took a sip of coffee, giving her time.
“I…it’s not my place,” she eventually carried on.
“What isn’t your place?” I inquired when she didn’t explain.
“To say what I wish to say,” she finished.
I drew in breath and put my cup in its saucer. Once I’d done that, I folded my hands in my lap and straightened my shoulders minutely in hopes she wouldn’t see this effort at bracing for what I suspected she felt was not her place to say was that now, as her husband had started to blossom out from under the oppression of oppressive parents, she felt secure enough to do the same.
But her oppression had come at my hands.
And therefore now she felt it was time to share a few choice things with me about how I’d treated her, and even Kristian, not the least of which was dragging my brother into my treachery, in doing so putting him, her and their son at risk.
Things I’d not only earned having to hear but I deserved.
I would not relish it, of that I was certain.
But I deserved it.
When she didn’t speak further, I felt it was my place to invite her to do so.
This I did.
“I have not treated you thus, Brikitta, and there were reasons for this that may at this juncture seem feeble and still cruel so I’ll not insult you by attempting to explain them, but in the end you are my sister. The sister my brother chose to add to our family when he fell in love with you. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that in the past I’ve not hesitated in saying a great many things to you, most of them unwelcome. I’m sure you’ve sensed much has changed in the last weeks. Thus I’d like to encourage you at this time to return that favor, no matter what you wish to say. All I can say at this time to reassure you is that you have my vow no matter what you say, there will be no ramifications, to you or my brother.”
She stared at me, her eyes widened, her lips parted in astonishment.
She did this but she did not snap out of it and say what she wished to say.
Therefore I added, “In other words, Brikitta, you are my sister. You are my family. And thus it’s absolutely your place to say whatever is on your mind.”