“Christ, Kat,” he said, ripping my T-shirt up over my head. “Do you have any idea how much you mean to me? Do you have any idea the extent I would go to keep you safe?”
“I do,” I said, fumbling to get out of my jeans, kicking them off, tugging at his. We were wild, frenzied. I needed everything from him then. I needed his protection, his touch, his love.
Dammit, we fit. Not just in sex, but in life. In the way we approached the world. In the day to day.
Most of all, in love.
“Kat,” he murmured, then lowered his head to my breast. I hadn’t bothered with a bra, and his mouth closed over me, sucking, teasing, biting. Sending ribbons of sensation coursing through me, shooting from my breast to my clit so that I was squirming under his touch, so aroused right then that I boldly slid my own hand down and stroked my own wet sex.
“God, yes,” he said, closing his hand over mine. “Do you know how hot that is? How hard it makes me to know that you’re turned on. That you want me?”
“There’s never a moment that I don’t want you,” I said, admitting everything to him, because he already knew it anyway, and there was nothing left to hide from this man. “Please,” I said, hooking my arms around his neck and then pulling him to the ground with me. “I need you inside me. Now. Please, Cole, now.”
He didn’t hesitate, and as I spread myself open for this man I adored, he buried himself inside me, his body pounding against me, as if by the force of the motion he could make the world outside of us go away.
“I love you,” I said as I felt the pleasure rising up and curling around me.
“I love you,” I repeated, because I needed to know that he’d heard it, too.
“Everything you are,” I said as he thrust harder and deeper, as if each pounding attack on my body was meant to punish himself. “Everything you’ve done. Don’t you get it, Cole? You’ve stripped me raw and put me back together again, and I love you for it. I love you desperately.
“You gave me the world,” I said, as I felt his body tighten inside mine, then shudder in the sweet throes of release.
“You gave me everything,” I said, as my own orgasm rolled through my body like a shock.
“Don’t take it away from me,” I murmured, my body sated and my voice exhausted. “Don’t rip it all out from under me. You promised me once that you wouldn’t ever leave me. I couldn’t stand it if you did. You have to know I couldn’t stand it.”
He pulled me close, breathing hard. “But you could withstand those pictures being in the world?”
“If that’s what it takes,” I said, realizing for the first time the full extent of what I’d been saying to him. “It would be awful. But if that’s what it takes to stay with you—to really and truly stay with you—then I could handle that and more.”
He was silent, and I groaned in frustration. “Dammit, Cole, what do I have to do to prove it to you? Send the photos out as goddamn Christmas cards?”
He pulled me close, his body shaking a little with what I finally realized was laughter. “Probably nothing that extreme,” he said. “But, Kat, I need to know that you’re sure.”
“I am.” I stroked his head, his face. I looked into his eyes, because I needed to make sure he understood just how deeply I felt these words. “I can survive anything if I know you’re at my side. If you really want to protect me, take me away. Take me to Europe or New Zealand or some tropical island so I’m not near the Internet or television or people I know. But don’t do anything that risks them taking you away from me. Because I will tell you right now—if they arrest you or if Muratti’s people hunt you down, it will kill me. And that will be on you.”
He studied me. “You’re really sure?”
I clutched his hands. “I can survive the photos. My dad can survive the photos. My friends, my career, my reputation. It won’t be fun, but it will pass.” I drew in a deep breath. “But if I lose you, I will shrivel up. That will be the end of me. Believe me, Cole. Believe me, and decide. Are you going to choose what you think I need, or will you listen to what I tell you I need?”
I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Either way, I do love you. And, Cole,” I added, “do you realize what happened tonight? You came,” I said. “Without kink, without pain. With just you and me and what’s between us.”
I watched his face as he took in the moment, realizing then that I was right. I grinned a little, then met his eyes, laughing at the expression of exultant pride.
“Don’t worry,” I said wryly. “I like the status quo just fine. But it is always nice to have options.”
“Yes,” he said. “It is.”
After a moment, he sighed and pulled me close. “Dammit, Kat, that’s what I’ve been trying to get you to understand. I want the option of protecting you, baby, just like I promised your dad. But that’s the option you’re just not giving me.”
“The hell I’m not,” I said. “Don’t you get it? You’re the shield between me and the world, and that’s more protection than I could hope for. You want to be the big strong man, then do what I ask. Stand by me. Take me out of the country until the worst blows over. But don’t you dare fucking leave me.”
He was staring at me, an odd expression on his face.
“What?”
“I adore you,” he said. “I’m not sure how I survived a day without you.”