“Owen, I’m not sure…”
“You’re right. She’s not the kind of woman who wears much jewelry. What do you think she would like? Perfume? Or… I could send her chicken panties. Yeah, that’s perfect. She’d get a kick out of that.”
Chicken panties? Kellen was afraid to ask why she’d think chicken panties were the perfect gift.
“Some women feel uncomfortable when you buy them gifts,” he said. “Especially early in a relationship.” And Kellen took Caitlyn for that type of woman.
“I just want to keep her thinking about me,” Owen said. “And let her know I’m thinking about her.”
“Did you call her?”
“Yeah, like five times. She keeps joking that she has to get something done besides talking to me all day.”
“So she knows you’re thinking about her.”
Owen smiled as he purchased whatever silly pair of panties had caught his eye. “Should I send them to her office?”
“Panties? Uh, no. I don’t think she’d appreciate that.”
“Then I need her home address.” He started texting on his phone.
Kellen slapped himself in the forehead. So much for Owen following any advice. But he was smiling as he read Caitlyn’s reply. Owen looked so f**king happy that Kellen hated to put a damper on things, but he really needed to talk to him about the elephant that was always in the room these days.
“Owen,” Kellen said, “we need to talk about…” He took a deep breath and blew out his cheeks. Jeez, this was going to be even harder than he imagined. “…about all that kinky shit we did together.”
Owen read from his phone and typed Caitlyn’s address into his tablet. “Which kinky shit?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
He looked totally disconnected from the conversation, and Kellen really needed him to be serious. “Do you mean me assisting you with tying women up so you could eat them out because you were afraid they might touch you?”
“No. I mean the other stuff.” He lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper. “The touching each other stuff. That we did. To each other.”
“It was good for me. Was it good for you?” He laughed, and Kellen should have known Owen would try to make light of it. Getting him to confront anything serious was near impossible. So Kellen would just have to plow ahead and hope Owen took his words to heart.
“I want to apologize to you.”
“For what? Making me come really hard? I honestly didn’t mind.”
“I only touched you because I wanted someone to touch me back.”
“And there’s always a girl waiting to do just that.” Owen lifted his gaze from his cellphone before he’d finish sending his latest text. “So is this the conversation where you tell me you’re g*y?”
“But I’m not g*y.”
“And neither am I, so let’s forget about it and move on.”
“I’m not finished apologizing to you.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” Owen’s voice rose, as if he were angry that Kellen was even bringing this up. “I don’t want your f**king apology. I just want to drop it, so drop it.”
“But I used you, Owen.”
“I use women all the time. It’s not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal. You’re my best friend, and I made you do something you wouldn’t normally do.”
“You didn’t make me do anything. I know you’ve been suffering, and I’d rather give you the occasional hand job than watch you mope around like your life is over. Your life isn’t f**king over, Kellen. Sara’s life ended, not yours.”
His words were like a slap across the face.
“Do you think you need to tell me that?” Kellen yelled. “I live with that every f**king day of my life.”
“Well someone has to remind you; you’re apparently too stupid to see it on your own. And now you find some beautiful woman who might have a fighting chance of putting Sara in her grave where she belongs, and you can’t even find the balls to tell her you’re leaving.”
Kellen was too stunned to reply. Owen had never gone off on him like that. Ever. He’d always been so understanding and careful to spare Kellen’s feelings.
“Well…” Kellen sputtered. “Maybe I’ll see her again and maybe I won’t. It’s none of your business.”
“You won’t,” Owen said. “I know you won’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re still wearing Sara’s cuff.”
Kellen looked down at his wrist and yep, there it was, right where he’d promised himself he’d never put it again.
Owen dove across the table and grabbed Kellen’s left forearm in both hands. “Give me that f**king thing. If you won’t get rid of it, I will.”
Owen shoved his back against Kellen’s chest to keep him pinned in the booth while he jerked on the buckles holding the cuff in place. Kellen didn’t know why he was fighting Owen. He’d love for someone to remove Sara’s burden from his wrist, but by the time Jacob wandered onto the bus and pulled them apart, they were both bruised and disheveled. Owen had the cuff in his hand, and Kellen had a scrap of Owen’s T-shirt clutched in his fist.
“What the f**k?” Jacob said, holding Owen in a headlock. “Never thought I’d see the day when you two came to blows.”
“Give me my f**king cuff back, ass**le,” Kellen said, yanking his wrist free from Jacob’s steely grip.
“You took his cuff?” Jacob asked.
“He doesn’t need it anymore,” Owen yelled.
“I agree,” Jacob said, “but don’t you think he should get rid of it willingly? It just symbolizes Sara; it’s not Sara. Getting rid of the cuff isn’t going to change how he feels.”
Kellen wasn’t so sure. He’d had a whole lot of fun and shared a whole lot of intimacy with Dawn when the cuff had been off his arm the night before. He didn’t know why he had such an emotional connection to a piece of jewelry. It was stupid. Like a little kid who wouldn’t give up his security blanket because he was convinced the boogie man lived under his bed.
“Then he won’t care if I burn it,” Owen said.
“Don’t!” Kellen’s voice cracked. Already his wrist felt exposed without the cuff in place. “I tried to throw it away last night, but it came back to me.”