Cord racked his brain to counter that thought. Seemed to be a blank spot where Marla existed in his memory. A bitter, dark hole. If he couldn’t remember the good or the bad times, just a whole lot of nothing, why was he so bitter? Why had he sworn off all women? He’d always chalked up his reasoning to the old adage that one bad apple spoiled the whole barrel, but now he had to admit his line of thinking was seriously f**ked up.
The outer door to the barn crashed open. “Cord? You in here?”
“In the tack room. Come on back.”
Kade paused in the doorway holding a six-pack. “Wanna beer?”
“Yeah.” Colt took one, twisted off the top and the metal cap pinged against the garbage can. He sucked down a mouthful. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Kade flipped over another bucket and sat. “Whatcha doin’?”
“Cleanin’ up. Haven’t been in here since Ky’s been gone. The boy left his mark.”
They drank beer and talked about Ky’s adventures in the big city. Kade adored Ky and his son considered Kade another one of his uncles. The three of them hung out at least once a week, watching “guy” movies, taking in a rodeo, riding horses or target shooting.
“I’ve never seen that saddle before. Whose is it?”
“It was Marla’s.”
Kade picked it up and scrutinized it. “No bullet holes in it so I know you ain’t been usin’ it for target practice.”
“Har har. Forgot I even had the damn thing. Big waste of money. I think I coaxed her onto a horse maybe four times.”
“I don’t wanna be a nosy dick, but you still got it bad for her?”
Cord’s gaze zoomed to Kade’s. “No. Why’d you ask that?”
“Dunno. You ain’t been lookin’ for another woman since the divorce, at least not in this county.”
“Maybe I’m concentratin’ my efforts on the next county over.”
Kade’s whole posture went rigid.
“What?”
“Nothin’.”
“I ain’t lookin’ to get hitched again any time soon.”
“That’s odd, what with your brothers finally takin’ the plunge. Least now any woman you brung home as a bride would have other female family around.”
“Worried about me becomin’ a grouchy ol’ bachelor, cuz?”
“Worried about a lot of my kinfolk, but you’d be damn near the bottom of the list.”
Cord swigged his beer. “Who’s on the top?”
“Colt. Followed by Dag. Then Cam since he’s gettin’ shot at in Iraq. Kane.”
“Why Kane?”
“He’s been influenced by Colt. Neither of our mamas would be happy to learn how they’ve been treatin’ women.”
“That why you moved out?”
“Partially. Mostly because I found myself skatin’ toward that callous attitude. It ain’t right. I don’t wanna go through life with that sense of entitlement. Any woman oughta open her legs for me just ’cause I smiled at her or my last name is McKay. Leads to a bad outlook on all women.”
Cord wondered if that last comment was a shot at him. “When you find a woman you wanna date, I’m sure she’ll appreciate you not bein’ a bitter dickhead only lookin’ for a piece of tail.”
“I am datin’ someone now.”
“Yeah?” Cord didn’t hide his surprise. “How come I haven’t heard about it?”
“Keepin’ a low profile. Don’t wanna mess it up and introduce her to our crazy family before I have to. And I definitely didn’t want her knowin’ what was goin’ on at the Boars Nest.”
“Do I know her?”
Kade shook his head. “She’s from out of state. She and her sister inherited a small family place and she relocated.”
“You ain’t gonna tell me her name?”
“Nope. But I will tell you I ain’t never met anyone like her. Makes me sound totally f**kin’ moon-eyed, but she’s funny and smart, sexy as shit, and she don’t take no shit, neither. There’s somethin’ there worth stickin’ around for.”
“I assume you’re bangin’ her anyway despite your respectin’ women spiel?”
A hangdog look crossed Kade’s face. “No. Ironic, huh? The guy who weeks ago couldn’t talk about nothin’ but gettin’ laid is…not gettin’ any at all. And I’m good with that. What about you?”
Cord thought of hedging, but as long as Kade hadn’t named names, he wouldn’t either. “Actually, I am seein’ someone.”
Kade’s eyes widened like Cord smacked him upside the head with a 2x4. “Get the f**k out. Seriously?”
“No, it ain’t serious. It’s casual,” he lied, mostly to himself. “Probably last until Ky gets back home.”
“I assume you’re bangin’ her?”
Cord grinned. “Every chance I can get.”
Kade chinked his bottle to Cord’s. “’Bout time.”
Another beer loosened Cord’s tongue. “I wanna run somethin’ by you that Dad and I’d been talkin’ about before all this shit happened with Colt.”
“You seen Colt?”
“Nah. Dad’s keepin’ him away from me. You seen him?”
“Nope. Kane and I are doin’ the shit hayin’ along the ditches in the public thoroughfare on either side of the county line so I ain’t seen much of my brother either.
What’ve you and Uncle C been talkin’ about?”
“Keepin’ the part of the herd that’s up on the western edge on summer grazin’ over the winter and through calvin’ season.”
“Why?”
“There’s plenty of feed and water. We need to rest the grazin’ where we’d keep ’em here anyway. I’m sick of drivin’ cattle a hunnerd miles, and back and forth twice a year.
If we don’t lose too many head, we might expand up there with a fulltime operation. If we do have losses, chalk it up to a failed experiment and we know for sure it can only be used as summer grazin’.”
“That’s damn isolated country out there, Cord. No town for sixty miles.” Kade’s eyes registered recognition. “You’re thinkin’ of sendin’ Colt out into the boondocks? As a way to get him to dry out?”
“We’re considerin’ it. Don’t know if he’ll go for it. We can’t force him. Even out in the middle of nowhere he could invite some of his boozin’ friends. Then our experiment wouldn’t matter—either for him or the cattle, ’cause I’ve no doubt the cows wouldn’t do well under his half-assed drunken care.” Cord sighed. “Like I said, nothin’s decided, somethin’ we’re kickin’ around.”