I think my idiotic meter skyrocketed when his hand reached for mine underneath the table, resting out intertwined hands on my thigh. I couldn’t help giving him a glance, smiling as I did so. When I did, I wasn’t even surprised that Callum kept with his conversation without paying heed to me, but his sweet gesture made sure I knew that he was aware that I was right next to him and that he wasn’t ignoring me at all.
I liked this about him. A lot.
It took every ounce of concentration not to drag Callum away from the table and find a secluded area to ravish him there, so that I could get rid of all this pent-up, boiling hot, spinning out of control need to devour him. Social obligations were a bore. I was simply grateful that the woman who sat next to me wasn’t.
Speeches were given. Dinner was served. We were all waiting on our coffees and pastries to be served when conversations began again. I was so engrossed in my conversation with Mrs. Chambers that I had forgotten about Callum for the moment.
He became quiet and when I checked at where his gaze traveled, it placed me in a deflated mood. Five tables ahead, Zara and Charles were seated. Still, I managed to give him an understanding smile.
When he gave my hand a light squeeze, I somehow took it as his way of sorry. I was relieved when the waiters arrived with our last course. It became an excuse so I didn’t have to converse with him.
I understood him. His love and his hate for Zara… I could somehow grasp the capacity of his feelings. Not only that, but I felt sorry for him. What he’d gone through was horrible. Even with all that, a large part of my soul wished that he was mine. It was a twisted thing to wish for, knowing that it would never happen. Even when I was in this Callum haze that assaulted my every sense, my entire existence, my soul… my sanity... Even knowing all that, I still dared wish it.
Love was a damning thing for any human being because it made me a dreamer. It was only a matter of time until something was to happen. I saw it in Zara’s eyes; the way she claimed him without physical contact. In her eyes, it was all there to see. Callum was hers and she was his.
Their connection was palpable. It permeated the air. It was amazing and mortifying to witness. There I was, standing amidst the two past lovers, connecting through their eyes without a word being spoken, but so much was communicated.
As much as I wanted to be a bystander to their astonishing connection, I couldn’t for the life of me stay rooted to the spot and not hear my heart break into smithereens.
I had to find solace, a short reprieve, before I set to leave and go home. My emotions were all over the place, but one thing stood out and that was jealousy.
Of course I was jealous. What woman wouldn’t be? There I was, seeing the man who I had craved and wanted since I knew what lust was at the tender age of fifteen, who was almost at my reach, and his blasted past love showed up.
I was feeling all sorts of things and, when Derek showed up, the need for revenge was harboring me to do something reckless. All of these self-destructive ways of thinking went down the drain the second Callum reappeared, though. He was bold, crass and apologetic. I couldn’t help becoming a hapless woman in his arms again.
That kiss… Callum’s kiss obliterated my thinking. My reasoning. My hate and all the other damning feelings I had felt minutes before he showed up in the bar. That was all it took to make me his again and I sensed that he knew it, too.
If he ever wanted me tamed, all he had to do was kiss me and I would be his again.
“Want to grant me your first dance for the night?” Callum leaned over and murmured into my ear.
His closeness gave me immediate palpitations. The thought of being held by him while his ex watched was tempting, but I didn’t want him to use me as a ploy to make her jealous. I just wouldn’t let him.
I was about to decline him when we were interrupted, much to my relief.
Hugh Lowsley—one of Richard and Callum’s friends—came over to our table, greeting us. It was obvious that these two had a great bond. From the fun stories Richard had told me before, I was glad that these two kept in touch, even after all these years. I knew how difficult it was after school and life got in the way. It soon became an out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.
Hugh and Callum did the whole comrade-to-comrade thing, shaking hands and then some hugs and laughs. After their greeting, Callum turned to me. “I’m not sure if you’ve met Richard’s little sister, Stella?” He introduced me like we were friends, nothing to insinuate that we were past friendship.
This buggered me.
It was just then that Hugh cocked his head sideways to see me fully. He then whistled, handing out his hand for me to shake. “Stella? Wow, look at you!” He eyed me with avid scrutiny. “You’re all grown up and how gorgeous, I might add,” he added with an appreciative smile. Sky blue eyes skimmed all over me.
My small hand connected with his manly one, grinning as he shook it. “Well, we did meet when I was seventeen. I was bound to ripen with age.”
His appreciation was welcomed as it merely boosted my deflated spirits. I remembered him always being so casual. Nothing fazed him. Even when he was failing in one of his classes for being tardy, he had acted like it was nothing to be bothered about. Years later, Hugh was still the same man and a looker, if I dared add that to the list.
“Would you do me the honor?” Hugh offered his hand. “We can dance and catch up, if you like.”
From my peripheral vision, I caught Callum’s death stare. It should’ve been a warning that it would displease him, especially after the thing with Derek tonight, but unfortunately, the look sent me to the opposite direction.
“I’d love to!” I held out my hand, accepting his offer. It was audacious and I didn’t even glance towards Callum as Hugh led the way to the dance floor, which was filling up with people, possibly trying to work off those extra calories consumed from the dessert.
Hugh chose a quiet spot, further away from the other dancers and a tad further from the band. He held me securely as we danced to the jazzy beat. “I heard Tango is up next.” He quirked his eyebrow as if to taunt me, challenging me. Those sky blues never left my face, but I could sense that he was somehow teasing me.
Very well. I never backed out on a good challenge. “I love Tango.”
His eyes danced with amusement. “Do you now? I can’t wait,” he retorted before he quickly got serious.
Hugh studied me awhile before commenting on my eyes. “You know, if I’m not mistaken, your eyes are exactly like your Richard’s.”