She slipped my cock out and stroked me from balls to tip, sending my body into overdrive. Her nipple still in my mouth, I bit down hard and heard her squeal above me, “Ooohh!”
Yanking my head back, she stared down at me with a look of pure need in her eyes. “I need you inside me. Now, Stefan.”
I tore her panties off and grabbed her hips hard in my hands. Lifting her off me, I thrust my hips off the chair and rammed my cock into her wet and waiting cunt, loving the feel of her around me. Shay moaned and kissed me long and deep as I began to move her up and down on me.
Suddenly, her eyes grew wide and she shook her head as she pushed down on my hands to stop her movement. “You’re not wearing a condom. We need to stop.”
“I don’t want to stop,” I said as I moved my hands back into position on her hips. “Whatever happens, we’re together.”
She shook her head again. “No. I can’t risk getting pregnant.”
I sat there with my cock still inside her and knew she was right. She was leaving and nothing could change that.
Even if all I wanted to do was change that fact.
Nodding, I gently lifted her off me and sat there as she picked up her clothes. She turned to me and held out her hand. “Come on. We can pick up where we left off inside.”
I straightened myself and took her hand as she led me to my bedroom. Still rock hard, my cock stood ready to go, but the rest of me couldn’t shake the truth of her leaving. I’d ignored it best as I could, but I couldn’t anymore. Shay and I were on borrowed time, and in less than two months the happiest time of my adult life would be over.
“Stefan, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t. We were always just supposed to be about having a good time, remember?”
I tried to force a smile, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want just a good time anymore. “I know. It’s just that things changed. I don’t know when or how, but I want more than that.”
Shay pulled me down onto the bed and kissed me, making me wish I could stop time right at that moment. “And across the city hearts just broke.”
I looked down into her green eyes and told her what I’d never said to any other woman before. “I don’t care about any of them. It’s all you. It’s been all you since that night on the beach.”
She cradled my face and smiled. “Don’t think about the future. Think about right now the two of us here together.”
I tried to do that as I made love to her, giving her everything I had of myself, but for the first time ever I wasn’t able to use sex to push away thoughts of something bad. Now all sex did was make me realize how much I cared about her and how much it was going to hurt when she left.
Shay lay her head on my chest and silently traced her finger over the tattoo across my ribs, but I sensed there was something on her mind. My fingers stroked her long brown hair, and I leaned over to kiss the top of her head. “What’s up, princess? I get the feeling you have something to say.”
Shaking her head, she murmured, “Uh-uh,” but I didn’t believe her. There was a problem.
“Tell me. Remember? The honesty thing between us?”
She craned her neck to look up at me. “I’m just wondering how many women have been here before me.” Burying her head in my chest, she whispered, “I’m sorry.”
“I deserve these questions. I know. The way I’ve lived my life makes them valid questions. The answer is none. I’ve never had anyone here before you.”
Rolling away from me, she looked up at the ceiling and frowned. “Don’t lie. It makes it worse.”
I slid over next to her and gently turned her head toward me. “I’m not lying. I have an office at the club, remember?”
“No one? Ever?”
“No one.”
Her green eyes wide with curiosity, she asked, “Then why did you ask me to come here tonight?”
“I wanted you to see my place before I lost it. I wanted to impress you.”
Shay blew the air out of her lungs and looked up toward the ceiling again. “That doesn’t sound like a very good lie.”
“No lie. Trust me. I’m much smoother than that. If I wanted to lie, I’m pretty good at it. I could have thought of a good one.”
She knitted her brows and turned toward me. “You shouldn’t tell me you’re a good liar. Why would I believe anything you say?”
“Because we’ve got that trust thing between us. I like telling you the truth, Shay. You never pull your punches, but you show me your respect even when you’re telling me I’m doing something stupid or you disagree with me. I like having that in my life. I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t know what to think about you. You’ve been nothing but a man whore your entire adult life, and now you tell me you aren’t that person anymore because of me. But I didn’t do anything. I didn’t tell you to change. I didn’t insist you be anyone but yourself. Why would you be different now?”
“Because of you. It’s as simple as that, and trust me, I’m a master of simple. I’ve been that all my life.”
“There’s nothing simple about you, Stefan March. You seemed to be one thing, and I knew how to think about that person. Then we starting spending time together, and I found out you were entirely different than I thought. But somewhere deep in my mind I still wonder if all of this is a façade you’ll shake at some point, and I’ll be left hating myself for believing you were anything but that person I met that first day.”
I pulled her close to me and held her. “I guess you’re going to have to take a chance and believe the leopard skin was just a coat and underneath is just a sexy tiger.”
“These animal metaphors are getting confusing,” she said with a tiny smile.
“Then just trust your gut, or if it’s telling you to leave and never come back, trust your heart. That’s what I’m doing.”
Shay snuggled up against me and hugged me to her. “I’m never going to forgive you if you turn out to be that guy. Just so you know.”
I kissed the top of her head, closing my eyes to listen to the soft sound of her breathing in and out. If she needed more convincing to believe I wasn’t that old Stefan anymore, then that’s what I’d have to do. As she fell asleep on my chest, I thought about her never forgiving me if I let her down and hated the empty feeling I got inside.