“I’m not interested in your opinion on my private life. You’re not a part of that anymore, so don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
I saw my words stung, but she wasn’t about to give up easily. Coming around the island, she stepped in front of me and reached out to touch my face, as if she wanted to console me after ruining everything between me and Olivia. Catching her by the wrist, I held her arm away from me and shook my head.
“You can’t be mad at me, Cassian March. You know that. And I’ve known you long enough to know this girl will pass. They always do.”
Fighting the urge to squeeze my hand even tighter around her bony wrist, I pushed her back away from me. “You don’t get it, do you, Rachel? We’re done. As for Olivia, you don’t understand that I could care for her because you don’t understand me. I’m convinced you never understood me.”
“Don’t say that. We loved each other. We always will.”
“I loved you. Fuck, I adored you, Rachel. You were everything to me. And what did I get in return? You cheated on me with the one person I have to see every fucking day! Don’t tell me you loved me. Don’t.”
She stood there staring at me with that sexy look in her dark eyes she used so expertly on me and every other man she manipulated, and all I could think was I hated her. I hated how naïve I’d been to think she’d ever loved me. I hated how hurt I’d been when she tore my fucking heart out. I hated how empty my life had been since her. And now I hated that the one good thing in my life had been ruined because of her.
“Cash, baby, don’t be mad. If you really wanted me gone, you would have taken my key a long time ago. Admit it. We’re right for each other. Whatever this girl means now, it’ll pass and we can go back to the way we’ve been all these years. Nothing has to change.”
“Get the fuck away from me! How can you stand there and act like you know anything about me? All I ever fucking wanted was to share my life with someone so I could leave behind the world of that club every night—someone who knows the kind of man I have to be there and still loves me. That’s all I ever wanted, and now that I found someone I might finally be able to have that life with, you come here to make sure I won’t have it.”
Suddenly, the femme fatale my estranged wife had been for so long disappeared and the woman I’d loved stood in front of me. “Cash, you really care about this one, don’t you?” she asked in a soft voice I hadn’t heard her use in years.
Turning away from her attempt at kindness, I walked past her toward my bedroom. “Leave your key on the counter when you go, Rachel.”
I listened as my front door closed behind her, my mind scrambling for the answer to how I’d ever explain her to Olivia. I couldn’t lose the one person who’d made me believe I could have something more than just temporary happiness. Sex wasn’t enough anymore. For the first time in years, I had to figure out a way to win back a woman’s heart.
* * *
After spending hours sitting in my car and staring up at Olivia’s apartment windows for any sign she’d returned, I had to admit winning her back was going to be harder than I’d thought. I had no idea where she was, and she wouldn’t answer my phone calls. She’d mentioned some friend name Josie, but I didn’t even know her friend’s last name.
Thinking I’d get my chance to speak to her at work, I waited each day, my heart leaping in my chest whenever I heard footsteps coming toward my office, but she never showed. I couldn’t concentrate on work and I hadn’t slept since she left my place. By the time I left the club on Tuesday night, I’d nearly gone out of my mind thinking about her, so as I had every night since Saturday, I drove to her house and hoped to find her.
Parked on the street across from her place like some kind of stalker, I waited and finally saw a light flicker on around three in the morning. Probably too late to be knocking on someone’s door, I did it anyway, unable to wait any more.
I stood outside in her hallway until she finally gave in and answered the door. Her brown eyes still had the same look of hurt in them that I’d seen as she left my place days earlier, but the bruise on her cheek had faded slightly.
“Cassian, it’s late. I need to go to bed.”
She began to close the door, but I stuck my foot in to stop her. “I need to talk to you. Let me just explain.”
“This isn’t about you or what you need. Go home to your wife, Cassian.”
She leaned hard against the door, squeezing my foot between it and the doorjamb, but I couldn’t let her give up on us yet. “Olivia, let me in. At least let me explain so you know my side. Then I’ll go if you want.”
The door stopped crushing my foot, and she finally released it and walked into her living room. Following her, I reached out to touch her, missing how she felt in my arms, but she pushed me away. “Say what you have to say and then go.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Rachel. I wanted to. I tried at the club Friday night, and then I tried again Saturday. It just never happened.”
Her expression twisted into an angry grimace. “Is that the best you can do? You’re a grown man, Cassian. Just admit you lied to me the entire time we were together. At least respect me enough to tell me the truth.”
“It’s not the truth. Rachel and I haven’t been together as husband and wife for years. I never wanted to lie to you, Olivia. I just never found the right time to admit that I wasn’t divorced yet, but I swear to you we aren’t together.”
“What’s the difference? You aren’t divorced, but you aren’t with her? Why should I believe you? She obviously has a key to your condo, and she looked right at home there. She’s perfect for you. Just the type of woman you probably always go after.”
I stepped toward her, but she backed away with a look of disgust that made my heart feel like it was being squeezed in a vice. “Olivia, listen to me. I know I should have told you, but I swear, there’s nothing between me and Rachel. You and I have something great between us. Don’t let my stupid screw up ruin it.”
Tears welled in her eyes, and she shook her head. “No. It was bad enough to think that I was just one in a long line of women. I can’t be the other woman for you. I won’t be.”
I grabbed hold of her shoulders and made her look at me. The pain in her beautiful brown eyes nearly made me look away, but I forced myself to say what was in my heart. “Don’t do this. Please. I know I screwed up, but don’t let that ruin what we have. You’re the only woman for me. She’s nothing. Please don’t give up on us. Don’t give up on me.”