“I don’t know what to say.”
“Then I’ll talk. Jake Richfield wasn’t wrong when he told you I’d been with a lot of women. I’ve never denied that. I won’t apologize for my past. I don’t expect you to apologize for yours. But that has nothing to do with you and me and what we have together.”
“I know. I don’t know why I said that before. I know what your past is, and even though it scared me a little, I hadn’t given it much thought until…” I let my sentence trail off, not wanting to say Jake’s name.
“I’ve never pretended to be anyone but who I am, Olivia. If the fact that I’ve been with a lot of women before you is a problem, then there’s nothing I can do to change that. I can only say that since I began to care about you there hasn’t been anyone else.”
His words sounded so final they scared me. “Are you saying you don’t want to see me anymore?”
Leaning in, he kissed me softly on the lips. “No. I’m saying there hasn’t been anyone for a while and I don’t want anyone else.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t look at him staring at me with those gorgeous blue eyes so close that I worried he could see inside me. “I’m sorry, Cash. I don’t know why what he said got under my skin, but it did. I hate that. I’m not some pathetic girl who can’t handle the man she’s with having a past. That’s teenage girl nonsense. That’s not me.”
“I do want to tell you something about my past, though.”
I shook my head and stopped his talking with a kiss. “No. No more about your past tonight. Tomorrow you can tell me anything, but tonight I just want it to be you and me.”
He hesitated, and I kissed him again, not wanting to hear any more about other women. He was here with me. That’s all that counted. Reaching down, I stroked his quickly hardening cock, needing the closeness that sex with Cash would give me.
I climbed on top of him and tilted my hips to feel the full length of him against my wet pussy. His hands slid down my sides and cupped my ass, even as his eyes showed me his concern remained. “I don’t want to hurt you if you’re still sore.”
Sitting up on him, I pulled on his boxer briefs to reveal his thick, stiff cock. I wanted to feel that stretch me as he made love to me. “I want to feel sexy—the way I always feel when we’re together. Please don’t let him take that from me. I’ve never had that before. I love that feeling.”
Cash eased me onto my back and slowly slipped my T-shirt and panties off, his mouth following wherever his hands touched with kisses that made me feel adored. For the first time between us, our bodies joined not in lust so much as something more meaningful. Gentler than usual, he cradled my face in his hands as he entered me, staring down into my eyes with a look full of sweetness.
Slowly thrusting in and out of me, he filled my body with his, stretching me to fit him. I wrapped my legs around his waist to bring him closer. I wanted his skin on mine, to feel each movement of his muscles as he made love to me. My hands slid over his back, and I reveled in his body’s power even as he could be so tender and attentive.
We said nothing as we gave one another everything we were. I was bruised and hurt, but he soothed me by showing me I could still be that sexy woman he wanted when we were at the club. More than anything else, he made me feel safe and adored.
My release rushed through me, and I clung to him as it made my legs quiver in ecstasy. He came soon after, filling me once again, and we remained there in each other’s arms, silent and sated. I could have stayed there in his hold forever, protected and worshipped and for the first time in my life wanting that.
He rolled off me and pulled me close so my head rested on his shoulder. In the dim light of his bedroom, I traced my fingertip over the tattoo that stretched across his chest. LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Curious, I asked, “Why did you get this tattoo?”
Cash smiled one of those thoroughly sexy grins I loved. “I wanted to get one that meant something to me. As the oldest brother, I often seem to be luckier than Stefan and especially Kane. People think because my father left me so much that it’s luck. It’s not luck. I was the son I was expected to be, unlike Stefan, who was the son who gave my father nothing but trouble. Kane was just the son my father never publicly recognized until right before his death.”
“What about the ones on your arms?”
He extended his right arm above me and looked up at it. “Each one was important when I got it. Now they just remind me of times past.”
“I like the dragon with the green and black. Do you plan to get more?”
“Probably.”
I ran my finger over his chest to the right nipple pierced with a silver hoop. “And this? Planning on getting anything else pierced?”
He laughed. “No. Got anything in mind?”
“I once dated a guy who had his tongue pierced. That was pretty cool,” I said with a giggle.
Squeezing me tightly to him, he growled in my ear. “A tongue piercing? I don’t think I could stand all that metal against the back of my teeth. Stefan’s damn near drives me out of my mind sometimes when he talks.”
“I had no idea he had his tongue pierced. How did I miss that?”
Cash growled again. “Enough about Stef.” Then he kissed me and I heard him sigh as he pulled me close to him again. Finally, we’d reached that sweet place I’d never believed could happen with Cassian March.
I woke hours later with Cash still next to me. He lay there silently, his muscular chest moving up and down with each breath he took. Even sleeping, he was stunning. Fighting the urge to touch him, I watched him admiring the man who had awakened feelings in me I’d never known existed before. I considered waking him up, but he looked so peaceful there sleeping so soundly that I grabbed his shirt and my panties to head out to his kitchen for a bite to eat. Famished after everything I’d been through that day, I found a box of angel hair pasta and a jar of marinara sauce in a cabinet next to the stove and some shrimp in his refrigerator. It wasn’t five star cuisine, but with a little culinary love, it could be a nice surprise for him when he woke up.
As the water for the pasta came to a boil, I prepared the shrimp the way my mother taught me by steaming them and then quickly coating them with parmesan cheese I’d found on the fridge door. It wasn’t freshly grated cheese, but since Cash was a bachelor living alone, I considered myself lucky I’d found any of the ingredients for my surprise meal at all.