“Right, the Ball. What’s the theme this year?” I couldn’t recall it for the life of me. Love was taking up too much space in my brain.
“It’s black and white this year. Very classy, very chic. I’m thinking about getting these giant chess pieces made and doing the floor in black and white tiles. What do you think?” Mom was the party planner extraordinaire. Seriously, my birthdays were so fabulous, they belonged on one of those television shows about fabulous parties. Renting an elephant or an entire theme park was the norm for us.
“Sounds great.”
“You know, I heard from the Heralds that Fin will be back in the area by then. I’m sure he’d love to go with you,” Mom said, giving Dad a look. Subtle. Why didn’t she just invite him and not tell me and then shove him at me? Or better yet, put him in a box with a bow on it, and then roll him out and have him pop out of it?
“Eva, I believe that ship has sailed,” Dad said, coming to my rescue. It was about time.
“Are you sure? You would look so beautiful together. Dark and light.” Yes. Like we were a pair of lamps.
“Mom. It’s not going to happen. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s smitten with Marisol. They’ve been texting while he’s been gone.” I wasn’t sure if I should share this with them, but I wanted Mom to drop it. Even if I hadn’t been in love with Lucah, I wasn’t ever going to be in love with Fin. It just wasn’t going to happen.
My mother practically pouted, but then smoothed it behind a smile.
“Well, I will hold out hope that he will change his mind.” Lucah thought I was stubborn. Well, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree in this case.
Dad just shook his head. He knew how to pick his battles after this many years of marriage. I had a moment of bliss picturing myself in my mother’s place and Lucah in my father’s. That led me to thinking about us having sex, which led to me thinking about my parents having sex and then I just shut that line of thinking down.
I got out of there as soon as I could and took a cab to Lucah’s.
“Honey, I’m home,” I said as I came in. He’d left the door unlocked for me. I was here enough that it seemed silly for me not to have a key, but I didn’t want to ask for one. He was still so secretive about those rooms. I still hadn’t seen them, and I tested the doors once when he was in the shower and found that they were locked. Whatever he had in there ( please God, let it not be bodies), he wanted to keep it hidden, even from me.
Love also made you stop questioning things for fear of causing tension or ruining perfect moments.
“Hello, dear, how was dinner?” he said, putting his arms around my waist. I put my arms on his shoulders and twisted his hair in my fingers.
“It was fine, except I completely forgot about the Company Ball next month and my mother wants me to take Fin.”
“I think I heard about that once or twice. Is it a big deal?”
“You have no idea. It’s a huge deal. The theme this year is black and white, so you’d better have something fancy in one of those colors.” I hadn’t gone searching through his closet, but he was always so impeccably dressed that I was pretty sure he’d have something on hand.
“It sounds fancy. What are you going to be wearing?”
“Whatever Sloane makes me,” I said with a smile. She’d made my last three Ball gowns and each one had been more spectacular than the last. She was going to be sad about the color choice, but I knew she would make up for it by making something unbelievable.
“Lucky girl. So, I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that I’m not allowed to take you as my date, correct?”
I’d thought about that, but it seemed like a recipe for disaster.
“Lucah.”
“I know, I know. But at least save me a dance. Or a few. I can dance with my boss, can’t I?”
“Yes, you can dance with me.” He started swaying back and forth and humming. “Are we practicing now?”
“Why not? I know how to waltz.”
I rolled my eyes as he moved his hands into waltz position with one on my waist and the other clasped in my hand.
“Of course you do.”
He waltzed me around the kitchen, humming a tune I wasn’t familiar with that I was pretty sure he made up on the spot. Because he was the kind of guy who could make up a tune to waltz to. Because he was the perfect man.
“Well aren’t you Mr. Smooth?”
“Yes, that’s what they call me.” He spun me under his arm and then we did a dip and he kissed me.
“My mother taught me how to waltz. She said that a man should always know how to waltz with a woman.” He let me up and we continued to sway.
“She sounds like a smart woman.”
“She was,” he said, and I thought he was going to talk more about her, but he didn’t. He spun me out and spun me back in and then kissed me in a way that made me forget about waltzing. Well, at least vertically waltzing. We could do a great horizontal dance as well.
“So I have something else for you,” he said, reaching into his nightstand.
“It better not be your penis. Because I’ve already had that gift.”
“No, it’s this.” He held up a key and it glinted in the light. “I had an extra key made for you.” I took it from him and turned it over in my hand. I was excited about the key, because it seemed like he’d read my mind, but I wanted to know if this was going to open all the doors, and not just the front one.
“Does this open every door in your apartment?” His eyes narrowed for a split second.
“I told you, Sunshine. There are some doors that need to be kept closed. I love you . . . but there are things that I can’t share with you. I wish I could, but I can’t. Someday maybe I can tell you, but right now, those doors are shut and they’re going to stay that way.” His voice was almost harsh and I pulled the blanket across my body. He was keeping those closed doors between us and I didn’t like it.
“I wish you could explain it in a way that I could understand. But if you say that you need to do it, that’s what you need to do. I wish there was something I could do to change that, but it’s really up to you.” I tried not to sound bratty and bitter, but failed on both counts.
“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be snotty about it, seriously. Can you understand where I’m coming from?” He pulled the sheet back down and pulled me so I was under him.