“Annie, come have some lemonade. I made it myself and it’s delicious.”
“But . . .” Panic flared in Annie’s eyes, as if she were afraid in the five minutes she’d be gone, Russell would disappear again.
Watching Annie gave Roman better insight into Charlotte’s fears. She wasn’t anything like her insecure mother, yet he could see how she’d instilled a fear in Charlotte—the fear of becoming as needy and sadly pathetic and isolated as her own mother.
He wanted to shield her from pain and take care of her forever, but Charlotte would freeze him out before she’d let him close enough to hurt her. And the thought shook him straight to the core.
Because he loved her.
He loved her. The truth settled in his heart, warming places that had always been cold.
He admired her fierce desire to maintain herself and her individuality, to not end up like her mother. He admired the business she’d built on her own, in a town that hadn’t been prepared, yet she’d won the people over anyway. He loved how she saw the best in him even when he didn’t deserve it. He loved everything about her.
Viewing her deepest pain up close forced him to acknowledge his feelings. Feelings that had to come second to Charlotte’s needs or he’d risk losing her forever. He’d tell her, but the timing had to be right.
It was beyond him how he’d know when that was. Roman’s family was hardly setting an example of functional relationships. Chase was hanging out with the single guys from the paper, drinking beer, talking sports, and sleeping with the occasional good-time woman and never getting involved. Rick rescued women, and right now he was playing Prince Charming to Beth Hansen until she got over her broken engagement and was ready to move on. Then he’d move on as well to the next woman in his life.
Roman shook his head, knowing he didn’t have the role models to look to for answers. He was on his own.
“No buts,” Eric cut in, speaking to Annie, his voice somehow soothing yet authoritative at the same time. “I have to insist you taste Raina’s drink. Besides, Raina isn’t supposed to spend too much time on her feet, and I’d appreciate you taking her back to the blanket until I can get there.”
“Go on, Annie.” Russell patted her arm and eased himself out of her grasp.
Once the trio had disappeared, Roman faced Charlotte’s father. “I don’t have much time.”
“I realize that. But you should know life is more complicated than any of you”—Russell swept his arm around, gesturing to the ball field and hence the people of the town—“can understand.”
In his pained expression, Roman didn’t see the self-absorbed actor who’d abandoned his family for fame and fortune. Instead he saw an aging man who’d lost much. Roman let out a groan. “It’s not any of us who needs to understand. It’s your daughter.” He pinned Russell with a steady gaze. “If you really care, I hope you’ll take the time during this trip to prove it.”
“She’d have to be willing to listen.”
Roman shrugged. “Make her listen.” After a last glare, Roman took off for the parking lot at a run, intending to take his own advice.
“It’s time, Annie.” Russell Bronson sat on the picnic blanket loaned to him by Raina Chandler. After the four of them had talked, Eric had taken Raina home, leaving Russell and Annie alone. Russell remembered Raina as a kind neighbor, a good mother to her three boys, and a friend to his wife. Obviously things hadn’t changed.
And that was the problem, Russ thought. Nothing had changed. From the day he married Annie Wilson, the girl he’d fallen in love with in fifth grade, until now, everything in Annie’s world had stayed the same.
She curled her legs beneath her and stared out at the players on the field. “I’m not sure it will make a difference,” she said at last.
Neither was he, but all they could do was try. Russell patted his pocket and felt for the paper he’d taken from Dr. Eric Fallon. Before taking his leave, Eric had spoken to both Russell and Annie as her doctor. Annie was depressed, he’d said. Clinically, most probably.
Why hadn’t Russell realized it before? He’d like to think it was because he wasn’t a doctor, but he was man enough to acknowledge his own faults. He was selfish and self-centered. His desires had always come first. He’d never slowed down long enough to consider why Annie spoke and acted the way she did. He’d just accepted Annie, same as she’d accepted him.
Depression, he thought once more. Something Charlotte had picked up on and called Dr. Fallon about. Now it was up to Russell to ask Annie to get herself help. He shook his head and silently thanked his beautiful, headstrong daughter for realizing what he hadn’t.
His daughter. A woman with a combination of disdain, fear, and vulnerability in her eyes. He’d caused each emotion. And he despised himself for it. But he had a chance now to correct many wrongs. Starting with Annie and ending with his daughter.
Annie hadn’t responded to his declaration. It was time. And he’d lead her there any way he had to, Russell thought. “How does Charlotte feel about Roman Chandler?”
Annie tipped her head to the side. Her soft hair fell to her shoulders and the urge to run his fingers through the jet-black strands was strong. Always had been.
“Same as I feel about you. Charlotte’s destined to repeat the pattern. He’ll go, he’ll return. And she’ll be here when he does. It’s in our genes.” She spoke matter-of-factly, as if that possibility didn’t bother her at all. She was too complacent, too accepting—and he’d taken advantage of that, he realized now.
Whether he’d known she was clinically depressed or not, he’d used her complacency as an excuse to come and go as he pleased. He shook his head, disgusted with himself.
He couldn’t change the past, but he didn’t want the same future for his daughter. “I disagree,” he said, fighting Annie’s description of Charlotte and Roman. “But she is destined to end up alone, pushing away any man who doesn’t choose to settle in Yorkshire Falls.”
Annie shook her head. “If you’re right, at least she won’t spend her life waiting for him to come back. Feeling alive only during visits.”
Russell looked at his wife, seeing her, their past, and their future all together now. He’d thought that by remaining in her hometown, Annie would be happy, but instead she was miserable. By choice, he admitted. “Whether she waits for Roman’s sporadic returns or she turns her back on him and ends up alone, either way it will be cold and lonely. And you damn well know it.”