The nurses were whispering as he approached the reception desk.
“I’m here to see Jennifer Dixon,” he said.
His hands shook, and he placed them in his pockets.
The nurse with red hair showed him up to her room. “Her parents moved her into a private ward earlier this morning,” she said on the way up.
Patrick didn’t speak a word. He stared at his reflection in the steel, feeling like the biggest jerk on the planet.
The ward was busy, and several people stopped to stare at him. He followed the red head down the long corridor to the private section.
“Jennifer’s room is at the end of the hall,” she said.
Rubbing a hand over his face he thanked the woman and then walked down to Jennifer’s room.
The door was partially open. He saw her lying on the bed with a remote in her head. Tears escaped from her eyes as she stared straight ahead.
She looked pale, and her eyes were bruised from the lack of sleep. He opened the door. She turned her head to look at him. They stared at each other. Patrick didn’t have a clue to what she was thinking or feeling.
Jennifer ignored him and watched the television.
“Linda told me what happened,” he said.
“I gathered. They tried to phone you, but they didn’t know how to reach you. I told them not to bother.” Her voice sounded dead. There was no animation to it. He didn’t have a clue what to do with his hands, and he put them inside his pockets.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
She stared at him without answering.
“Stupid question. I never wanted you to lose the baby, Jen—”
“Why are you here?” she asked, cutting him off.
“What? Jennifer, you just lost—”
“Before you walked out of your house last night you made your feelings perfectly clear. I don’t know why you’re here. You’re a free man, Patrick. You can go and screw, fuck any other woman you desire. That’s what you wanted, wasn’t it?”
There was a hardness that hadn’t been there before tonight.
“I didn’t want this. I wanted you and the baby and for us to have a life together,” he said. He’d been an asshole. His friends had made him feel trapped with her when the truth had been completely different. He wasn’t trapped. Patrick knew he’d never feel trapped while he was with Jennifer. The biggest problem he had was realising the truth far too late.
He felt the tears fill his eyes. Staring down at her, he saw her stomach was completely flat. The sheet covering her body did little to hide the evidence of what used to be there.
“How did it happen?” he asked.
“I had a miscarriage, but it wasn’t complete. I had the doctor remove the rest. He said it would come out naturally. I didn’t want to prolong the agony. Knowing I lost the baby was too much to bear. I can’t have you here, Patrick. Could you please leave?”
“Don’t send me away,” he said.
Her tears were falling thick and fast. “I want you to go. Please, get out of here. I don’t want to see you or look at you. Get out!”
Patrick saw the nurses walking down the corridor. He raised his hands and left her room. His heart ached with the pain of leaving her. She was hurting, and she wouldn’t accept any comfort from him.
After talking to the staff at the hospital he walked all the way home. He needed to clear his head to try to get over everything that had happened to him.
Patrick closed his front door. He saw his bedroom light on and walked up the stairs to find Linda cleaning up.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I came to collect Jen’s things. I didn’t think you’d want to see the sheets and the vomit on the floor. No, let me put it another way. Jen wouldn’t want you to see this mess.”
She stood up pulling off the latex gloves she’d been wearing. He saw her hatred of him reflected in her eyes.
“Go ahead, judge. You’ve never wanted me to be with Jennifer in the first place. What is it? Jealousy? You thought you should be the one to marry first and she’d be the one carrying the bouquet?” He tore his jacket off and glared at her.
Linda started to laugh. “I was never jealous of Jen. She was happy, and I was happy for her. For too long she’s felt she doesn’t belong. You made her feel beautiful and loved. She was falling in love with you. Whatever stupid argument you had going on, you shouldn’t have left her.”
“Our life is not your concern.”
She stormed right up to him and poked him in the chest. “You’re right. It’s not my concern, but when the woman carrying your baby phoned me and asked me for help, then it became my business.” Linda slammed the gloves against his chest. “Clean up your own mess.”
He watched as she picked up Jennifer’s case and left. The sound of the door closing brought him out of his misery.
Chapter Ten
The following day, against the doctor’s wishes, Jennifer signed herself out of the hospital. She’d prefer to cry and mourn at home. Being in the hospital she was open to anyone who desired to pay her a visit. After Patrick’s visit last night she wanted to put as much space between them as possible.
Linda didn’t like the thought of her being released. Her friend was scared in case something else happened. She promised everyone she was fine and wasn’t going to do anything silly. Committing suicide was not on her list of things to do before she turned thirty. Her parents arrived as the nurse wheeled her out of the room.
“Jennifer, what are you doing?” Helen asked.
“I’m going home. I need some alone time, Mom.” Her father demanded information from the staff.
“Keep going, Linda. I want to go home.”
Her friend took over from the nurse. She climbed into the passenger side of her friend’s car. Linda was pulling away from the curb as her parents walked out of the hospital.
“If we go home, Jen, they’re only going to keep turning up. They’re worried about you. I’m worried about you.”
“Does your mother still own that beach house?” Jen asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you think she’ll mind us going there? Please, Linda, I need a break away from it all.”
“We can’t run forever.”
“I know. Just until they get the picture and leave me alone. Fresh air and the ocean sound fun.”
She lay back in the chair and gazed out of the window. Linda pulled up outside of a motel to make a phone call. Jennifer stayed in the car.