Tugging the shirt from her body, she walked into the bathroom needing to wash her body. Her life had gone to shit, and she couldn’t handle anything more.
“You’re useless, fat, ugly, a waste of space.”
Filling the bath with water, she stripped down, staring at her body in the mirror. She was ugly, worthless. No one would ever truly love something so awful. Tears filled her eyes at the remembered pain of her mother’s cutting words.
Her mother never lashed out with her hand. The words were the hardest thing to deal with. The first time she met Tate she’d lied about her family. None of them knew the true her.
Tate didn’t know what she went through growing up with her mother.
Wiping the tears away, she settled in the bath. The names she’d been called went around and around inside her head.
She couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t fair at all. Killer deserved someone good, someone who didn’t keep secrets. Michael would never tell her the truth. He was a controlling man. Kelsey couldn’t handle it anymore.
Climbing out of the bath, she went to her kitchen and grabbed the smallest knife she could find. When she returned to the bath, she remembered all the words spoken to her along with the threat Michael held against her. She tried to find a reason for her to live. What was there for her? Nothing. Killer deserved someone better, someone who wasn’t married to a man who refused to let her go. There was one chance for her to leave the world behind. Unbinding her hand, she stared at the cut she had earlier.
The name calling would stop. Everything would stop the moment she took the pain away. Pressing the blade to her skin, she pushed harder.
“You’re worthless, ugly, fat.”
Sliding the blade down, Kelsey only had one wish, that they scattered her ashes across the ocean.
Chapter Five
Killer nursed his drink back at the clubhouse. The women had left apart from the sweet-butts and Rose. All of the men with children had left as well. Butch had a blonde on his lap, and he was fingering her pu**y for all to see. Zero sat beside him, drinking. The other man looked deep in thought. Killer wasn’t in the mood for talking and was pleased no one was trying to get him to talk about his feelings and all that shit.
“Kelsey looked really sad today,” Hardy said, speaking up. “It’s what she deserves leading you on like that.”
“Don’t, Hardy. I appreciate your concern, but I’m not in the mood. Kelsey, she has her own issues.” Killer found himself defending her.
Turning around, he looked at the older man. Rose sat beside her man, sipping from a bottle of water. “She didn’t look like herself at all,” Rose agreed. “Even though she doesn’t deserve any pity.”
“Stop it. None of you know the truth about her decision. We had an argument, and I told her about the woman I f**ked.”
The other men winced. They still wore a frown, and he knew it was directed at Kelsey.
“Come on, guys, she didn’t tell him the truth about her married state. He had a right to lose his head for a little while,” Butch said, pulling away from the sweet-butt to speak.
“She didn’t even tell you the truth?” Rose asked.
“No, she didn’t. We’ve talked a little, but when I first saw Michael I saw the truth in her eyes. I f**ked up by screwing with a woman I didn’t want. This is between Kelsey and me. I appreciate all of your concern, but please, don’t go judging her without knowing everything. I know I did, and I’ll have to live with that mistake for the rest of my life. Everyone has a past. Hers just turned the f**k back up.”
“What are you all talking about?” Sandy asked, taking a seat beside Zero. Stink followed behind her signaling for a drink.
“Kelsey. Bitch looked really sad today,” Rose said, bringing the other woman up to speed.
“Don’t call her a bitch,” Killer said.
Sandy nodded. “I’ve never seen her looking so sad. I know she’s f**ked Killer up, but I was worried about her, and I didn’t want to let her go home. Is Tate with her?”
“No, I dropped her off home. Michael was waiting to have a word with her,” Killer said, staring down at his drink. He’d not taken a sip since the drink had been poured.
“She’s on her own? I thought someone was going to stay with her.”
“What did you see earlier?” Killer asked.
Sandy shrugged. “I’m not a psychiatrist, so I don’t know the real signs. She appeared defeated, depressed. If I was at the hospital…” Sandy stopped as she ran a hand down her face.
“If you were in a hospital, what?” Killer tensed as he waited for Sandy to speak. She had all of their attention.
“I’d have her on suicide watch. I don’t know why I’m saying that. I know Kelsey. She’s a strong woman, besides her issue with lying to everyone. She’s got no reason to do that.” Sandy wasn’t looking at anyone as she frowned.
Killer panicked. Grabbing his phone, he dialed Kelsey’s number. The line kept ringing and ringing. “Fuck, no answer.” He dialed Tate’s number. “Have you spoken to Kelsey this evening?”
“No, I haven’t spoken to her since she held Simon. Killer, what the f**k,” Tate said.
Disconnecting the line, Killer headed outside.
“Wait, I’m coming with you,” Sandy said, running after him.
He heard the commotion in the clubhouse as he left.
“I’m coming with you as well,” Stink said, following them all out.
Killer went straight for the truck. He waited long enough for Stink and Sandy to climb inside.
Charging out of the compound, he broke the speed limit trying to get to his woman. Shit, she wouldn’t kill herself. Kelsey was not the kind of woman to hide away from everything that was happening. They would get to her apartment to find nothing out of place.
The panic wouldn’t stop with his reasoning. He knew something bad had happened. Killer felt it.
“She’s going to be fine,” Sandy said.
“No, she’s not. If you thought she was a f**king suicide risk you should have told me. I’d never have left her.” Killer was cursing himself for walking away from her. What kind of bastard was he to just walk away?
Killer parked the truck with the tires squealing. Running to the intercom, he buzzed Kelsey’s door. He kept buzzing and buzzing. Nothing happened. There was no response.
“Fuck!” He yelled the word. Using his foot, he started to kick out at the door. He’d pay for the repairs. When the glass wouldn’t break, Stink joined him, and together they threw their weight behind smashing the glass.