Looking out of the window, he saw the last of the bikes disappearing before heading to the back and sitting opposite the woman who was plaguing his thoughts.
She tensed as he sat down.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“Nothing, I wanted to see how you were doing.” He leaned back, watching her.
Judi paused, putting her fork down onto her plate. “I’m fine, Ripper.”
Staring into her dark brown eyes, he wondered what was going on in that head of hers. She had always fascinated him, but he’d cut any of the thoughts or curiosity from his mind. For the first time in the last two years, he wanted to get to know more.
“Really?”
“What did you want me to say?” She hadn’t picked up her fork to eat some more.
Leaning over, he snagged one of her pancakes and ate it himself. “Last night you killed a man. I’m not a f**king idiot, and I don’t need a degree to know it f**ks with people’s heads.” His first kill had left him reeling for days. To get over it he’d drunk, done drugs, and f**ked every pu**y available to him to stop thinking about what he’d done. Being in the club helped him even more.
Tears filled her eyes, and she looked down at her food.
“I’m trying not to think about it.”
Her voice was only a whisper, but he caught the sadness in her tone.
“You need to think about it but get over it.”
She looked up, glaring at him. “You told me not to mention it outside of that hotel room. Why are you forcing me to talk about it?”
“Because I was being an ass, and you deserve better. Killing a man doesn’t make things easier. I took care of it, but you need to take care of it here.” He pressed his fingers to her temple.
“I’m never going to be able to get over it. I killed a man.”
“I know. I’ve killed many.”
She closed her eyes, picking up her fork to start playing with her food. “How did you handle it?”
“The usual way, drinking, snorting, and f**king. I doubt it’s going to work that way for you.”
Judi shook her head. “I’ve f**ked enough men.”
His hands fisted at his sides. “Don’t,” he said.
“Don’t what? It’s the truth.”
“No, it’s not. You were f**ked by men, forced to do it. You were never willing.”
“How do you know?” she asked, glaring at him.
“A willing woman doesn’t get beaten black and blue by their pimp.”
Her cheeks were bright red. Reaching over, he took hold of her hand. “I bet you don’t even know what it’s like to experience a real orgasm.”
Shut up, Ripper.
He didn’t listen to reason. “Do you even know what it’s like to have a man filled with the need to pleasure you, licking your sweet pu**y?”
She gasped, looking up at him. “Ripper, what are you doing?”
“Nothing. Fucking nothing.” He stood up, throwing some notes down onto the counter. “If you ever need me, call me.”
He stormed out of the diner, straddling his bike. What the f**k was his problem? Judi was not his problem to deal with. She was twenty years old and deserved a life of love and happiness, where all her dreams come true. He wasn’t the kind of man to give such a commitment.
Pulling out of the town, he felt the wind on his face, not caring he wasn’t wearing a helmet. Safety was for f**king pussies.
Ripper drove for the next couple of hours, his thoughts tormented by Judi. She shouldn’t be invading his thoughts or even occasioning his sexual ones. When he got back to the club he found Devil and Lexie hanging out. Vincent and Phoebe were absent along with the kids.
Lexie was curled up against Devil looking pale. She was rubbing her stomach and sipping some water. Her head rested on Devil’s knee. Nodding his head toward his president, Ripper went to his room to focus on his feelings for Judi. She was just a woman and one he couldn’t f**k.
Never going to have Judi. Stop thinking about her. She’s not yours.
Lying back against his bed, Ripper growled as her face entered his thoughts. What the f**k was he going to do?
****
What the hell just happened?
Judi stared at the empty seat opposite her completely baffled by what happened. Picking up her fork she took a bite of her pancake then another. His words had made her wet between her thighs. Finishing off her food, she headed back to the library to finish off her computer work. By the time five o’clock came she was exhausted and headed back home. The walk was a long one, and she entered home an hour later. Lexie was in the kitchen stirring some kind of sauce on the stove.
“Hey,” Judi said.
“Hey, Devil and the kids are at the dinner table if you want to join them.”
“Should you be working?”
“I’m fine, honey. It’s just the start, and I’ll get over it. Women have been giving birth for centuries.”
They’ve also been dying because of it.
Judi kept her thoughts to herself and entered the sitting room. Elizabeth was playing with a book while Simon was pressing buttons on his toy making noise. She saw Devil bowed over a book reading.
“Anything interesting?” Judi asked.
He lifted the book up, and she saw it was a pregnancy bible.
“Still worried about her sickness?”
“Yes, she wasn’t like this with Elizabeth, and I’m not risking shit because of it.”
Nodding, she put her bag down, grabbing another pregnancy book from the shelf in the corner of the room. Twenty minutes later Lexie walked in, hissing as she saw what they were doing. “Stop it, you two. I’m perfectly fine. Now stop trying to fix something that’s not there.” She set their plates in front of them.
“Baby, I’m going to keep looking until I find out what’s wrong with you.”
No one, not even Lexie, was going to tell Devil what to do and not to do. Lexie sighed but didn’t actually argue with him.
“Fine, don’t worry though. It’s morning sickness and nothing else.” Lexie sat down and dived into her food.
Judi ate with relish loving the spicy sauce. She noticed Devil’s gaze was constantly on Lexie, and yearning hit her hard.
What would it be like to have a man who loved her as much as Devil loved Lexie? After dinner she did the dishes making sure Lexie rested. Wiping down the work surfaces, she thought about Ripper and his comment. She’d never experienced a single orgasm or known what true passion was all about. Closing her bedroom door she rested her head against the wood wishing Ripper hadn’t said anything earlier at the diner. Her thoughts were constantly on sex and nothing else. She’d been with so many men, and yet faced with Ripper’s raw sexuality she didn’t know how she was going to cope. Her emotions were completely fried. Life was better when she didn’t have to think about sex or men or anything but her coursework.