The pressure on my lips came again, demanding. “Take it,” he snapped.
My stomach somersaulted. He’s trying to drug you. Just like them.
My hands clenched and I repelled away. “No. What are you—”
“Don’t speak. You’re not allowed to speak.” Two fingers entered my mouth by force. The taste of salt and citrus shot right to my heart. This was so wrong.
My teeth ached to bite. To sever the invasion before my mind could turn against Q. I was wrong when I said I was strong enough. I wasn’t. I wanted nothing to taint my love for him—and this—this would murder everything I’d tried so hard to retain. “Stop. This is a mistak—”
Q’s touch turned from harsh to brutal, placing something acidic and foreign on my tongue. “Swallow.”
Tears stung my eyes; I fought in his grip, shaking my head violently.
Never again did I want the fog of hallucinogenics or mind-twisting chemicals. What the hell is he thinking? He knew how bad my withdrawals were. He’d seen how hard it was for me to crawl out of the smog.
Q breathed hard in my ear, muttering in French, cursing in a stream of anger. His arm wrapped around my thrashing body, tilting my head back. His hand came under my jaw, clamping it shut. “Swallow!”
I whimpered, soaking the blindfold in gushing tears.
“Do it or I’ll hurt you.”
My heart pounded; the tower no longer needed to beckon—I inched closer on my own. Fear drove me forward. The horror at being forced to take something that would remove all my mental power.
It would all disappear the moment I stepped inside.
Oh, God. What the hell were we doing? We were tempting fate—waving an invitation at everything we ran from—enticing horror into our lives.
I stood trembling, disobeying. The acidic pill slowly dissolved on my tongue, making me nauseous. I would let Q do anything but drug me. Anything else but that.
Q sighed. The anger in his voice faded to grief, shedding the theatrics, showing the actor beneath. He kissed my ear with incredible softness. “I need you to take it. It’s nothing strong—it will last an hour or two, max.” His tongue swirled around my lobe making my terror-laden body warm and begin to thaw. “Please, Tess.”
I moaned, shaking my head, trying to free my chin free so I could talk. I didn’t want to swallow. I had to make him see how terrified I was of drugs.
His fingers wouldn’t let me go, letting the pill dissolve even further. “You have to believe in order for me to bring you back. Remember?” he murmured. “I won’t be able to help you if you know it’s me. It will ruin both of us. Please…you’ll be safe. Je promets.” I promise.
I shook my head for the fiftieth time, my eyes wild and damp beneath the blindfold. All method of communication had been stolen. I couldn’t appeal or argue. Q held me firm, fully intending to shove me head first into a chasm of horror.
Swift panic shot through my body.
Q’s right. No matter how much I loved him I would end up hating him for this. I wouldn’t be able to stop the connection between him and my past.
I shuddered, acknowledging the truth. I had to go back. Completely. Truly. There was no faking this. No cutting corners. And I couldn’t know it was him driving me deeper.
With a groan of sorrow, I swallowed.
“Good girl,” Q whispered. He paced around me, his fingertips dragging around my neck. Stopping in front again, his hand slid into the material I wore, cupping my breast. “We probably have about fifteen minutes before that takes you away from me.”
I jerked, testing the ceiling restraints. As much as I loved him, I didn’t want pain. If he raised a whip or paddle, I wouldn’t have the strength not to enter my tower. And once I stepped inside—I wasn’t coming out. I wouldn’t be able to.
Q spread the front of the gown open, his hot breath tickling my skin. “Fuck you look incredible, esclave.”
I sucked in a harsh breath as his mouth descended on my nipple. His arms came around, dragging me close. Every ripple of muscle and sweep of his tongue sent a jagged bolt of passion into my core. My body reacted instantaneously, knowing any moment everything I knew would be stolen from me.
After what happened, I wanted his touch. I needed to feel. To be soothed and assured that whatever stupidity we were about to do wouldn’t hurt us. We’re doing it for the right reasons.
Q’s mouth was hot, wet, full of sinful fire. Everywhere he touched seemed amplified—my mind making it intense and visceral. I arched into him, pressing my flesh further into his mouth.
He groaned, licking, sucking. His arm clenched hard, possessing me completely.
When will it affect me?
I bit my lip as Q nibbled gently, his mouth trailing from my nipple up to my throat. His teeth grazed over my tingling skin. “You’re all mine. Completely at my mercy.” His voice layered with husky lust.
My eyes popped wide as a new fear rose. Was he strong enough? Would he be able to break my chains and not lose himself in the process?
Q hugged my tense body, sensing the reason for my panic. Planting a kiss on the ‘Q’ branded into my neck, he murmured, “I have it under control. When it takes you, don’t fight. I’ll keep you safe.”
My breath caught. There’d been another time when he said I was safe. At his office. With his birds on top of the world. He lied.
My heart skipped; a rush of sickness raced in my blood.
Is it affecting me?
My mouth went dry. I smacked my lips, trying to lubricate my throat to speak. “Q—” I croaked.
I moaned as Q undid the cord around my waist, spreading the fluffy material wrapped around my body. He sucked in a harsh breath, ragged passion echoing in the sound. I stiffened as his fingers trickled from my cle**age and down my stomach. “Do you have any concept of how much I miss the woman I fell in love with?”
My heart squeezed at the sadness in his voice.
His fingers kissed my ribcage, stroking so soft it was almost a tickle. “I miss your fire.” His touch dropped a little, flaring over my hips. “I miss your strength.” His fingertips turned inward, tracing my lower belly, brushing through the trimmed hair between my legs. “I miss you taunting me.”
His scent of sandalwood and citrus drugged me far more effective than anything he’d given. I willingly gave myself to the heady combination. Q owned all my senses now. Not just my sense of touch, taste, sound, and sight but also my instincts, obedience, and trust.
He owned everything.