“Why?” she snapped.
“Because he’s Hap,” I explained but obviously this was not enough of an explanation.
I knew this when she snapped again, “So?”
“He was tight with Gordo,” I reminded her.
She nodded her head sharply and repeated a curt, “So?”
I shook my head gently and kept explaining, “So, to Hap, no matter what, you’re Gordo’s and always will be.”
“Travis is dead,” she returned shortly and I sucked in breath.
She yanked her hands from mine, took a step away and dragged the fingers of one through her thick hair.
Then her eyes locked on me.
“I know,” she told me. “I know how it is with these men. But he feels it, I know he does. It started awhile ago, months ago. Months, Kia. He made me laugh. He always made me laugh but suddenly, the sadness was gone and he made me laugh. And I saw the way he would look at me. And I liked it, cara mia. Not just noticing a man’s attention but noticing the attention of a man who could make me laugh like that.”
I’d heard that before in a way.
“Honey –” I began again only to be cut off again.
“And he’s handsome.”
She was right about that. Hap was beyond muscle bound but that didn’t mean he wasn’t very good-looking. He was. Totally.
Luci wasn’t done.
“And he is who he is. You take him how he is. He’s rough around the edges and that’s all he’ll ever be. He knows who he is and he isn’t going to change for anybody. I like that. And I like that, even being like that, he senses things about me. The laughter and that, just that, when I noticed he senses me, that was when he wasn’t just Hap anymore. He was Hap. And rough or not, his eyes would be gentle and his tone would be gentle if he sensed I needed that. And it was beautiful. This man, so coarse, who could also be so, unbelievably gentle.”
Yes, I’d noticed that too, Hap being gentle with Luci.
And I’d also noticed its beauty.
“Sweetie,” I said carefully, “he may feel things for you but you know these guys. They’re about honor and he would be dishonoring Gordo’s memory if he took anything anywhere with you. He won’t do it.” I got closer to her again and whispered, “He’ll never do it and he’s probably struggling with what happened. I hate to say this to you but it’s the truth. You need to back off and let this be. It’ll only be hard on him, hard on you and you might lose what he can give you if you –”
“That’s stupid,” she interrupted me to hiss. “He has one life. I have one life. Why would you not explore something that might mean happiness? There is no reason. I won’t accept there is. And I do not believe, not for one second, that the man I fell in love with and married who died way too young would not encourage both his friend and me to find happiness even if it meant with each other.”
Well, I had to admit, she had a point there.
Her voice changed, got soft, pleading, “Please, Kia, go and bring him to me.”
I bit my lip.
It was Luci who then caught my hand and when she did she squeezed.
Then she whispered, “This is not a tryst. This is not for fun. He’s my friend too and I love him. I would not do this to him, myself or the memory of my husband if this didn’t mean something to me.”
I believed her. Looking at her, it was impossible not to believe.
But it was more.
She was in love with George “Hap” Cunningham.
“Oh honey,” I whispered back.
I saw bright fill her eyes and she continued, “It isn’t the same. It wasn’t what I had with Travis. It didn’t hit me like a bullet. It snuck up on me. But I go to bed thinking about him and I wake up thinking about him. Now, for months, I’ve been waiting breathlessly for the weekend to come, for Hap to come. And these last three weeks, not having even a little of him, it hurt, cara mia. It was a new kind of pain but I knew, feeling that pain, being separated from him, not knowing what he’s thinking, worried about him, I know he means something to me. I know it’s worth trying. And I know, as a woman knows, the way he kissed me, touched me, that he goes to sleep and wakes up thinking of me. So I must try. Life doesn’t give you two chances to feel that strongly about two men and I cannot waste life, Kia, I cannot.” Her hand squeezed mine and she finished, “You know this just the same as me.”
Boy, did I.
Shit.
Shit!
“I’ll go get him.”
Yep. That was me.
Shit!
She smiled a trembling smile. She was relieved I agreed. But that tremble was something else. The beautiful, ex-supermodel Luciana was worried a man would deny her.
I was worried about the same thing.
Shit.
“Be right back,” I whispered.
“Okay,” she whispered back.
I gave her hand a squeeze.
Then I let her go, turned and walked up the walkway.
I didn’t want to do this and when you didn’t want to do something you had to do, you did it fast and got it out of the way. So that was what I did.
And anyway, Luci was waiting.
I walked right to the deck, right to the grill and therefore right to Hap.
But also right to my husband.
Eek!
“Can you come with me a sec?” I asked Hap, looking in his eyes and ignoring my husband’s eyes on me.
“No,” Hap answered instantly.
He saw me leave with Luci.
“Hap –”
“Don’t go there, babe,” Hap said quietly. It wasn’t mean. It was just quiet.
And, unfortunately, firm.
“What’s goin’ on?” Sam asked and I looked at him.
“Nothin’,” Hap muttered. “I’m gonna go to the beach and pass the ball with the boys.”
“No you’re not, Hap, you’re gonna come with me,” I told him and his eyes came back to me.
“Kia, babe, I said no.”
“And I say you owe her this,” I returned then got close. “I get you, honey, I get the war you’re waging within but there’s a woman waiting for you, she cares about you, you care about her and even just as friends, after what happened, you owe her this.”
Hap glared at me.
Sam semi-repeated, “What the f**k is goin’ on?”
I ignored my husband and endured Hap’s glare.
Then Hap muttered, “Fuck,” and stomped around me toward the walkway.
I started to follow him.
“Kia, baby,” Sam called, I looked over my shoulder and called back, “Explain in a minute, honey.”