Miranda nodded.
We all sat down to eat. Elleny and Zoe discussed their day. They got along really well. Elleny didn’t talk much, but she was a sweet girl. I’d tried to talk to her about her family, but she kept it all inside. Scarlet said she’d talked about her parents only once, but it was too difficult and she never tried again after that. I hoped after she healed from what that monster put her through, she might be able to talk to someone. That was too much pain for one little girl to hold inside.
“And then Butch went mawwwwwwwwwrrrr,” Zoe said, giggling.
Elleny giggled, too, and pretty soon we were all laughing.
“Daddy!” Zoe said, sitting up on her knees. She pointed to the door as Bryce opened it.
Joey came in after him, and then Scarlet. I ran to her and took her into my arms. Those first few seconds when she returned from clearing always pulled a huge weight off my shoulders, letting me breath again.
“I’ve got yuck on me!” she warned.
“I don’t care,” I said, squeezing her against me, and then kissing her lips.
Scarlet pulled away, lowering her chin. “They’re leaving Shallot. Migrating.”
“Looking for food,” I said, thoughtful.
“If they’re hunting, I’ve got to step up my efforts.”
“Scarlet,” I began, but she held up her hand and smiled. “I’m going to wash up. We’ll talk later.”
She walked away, and I sighed. She had already made up her mind.
During dinner, Scarlet explained the basics of her plan. After dinner, while we were lying in bed, she explained it in more depth to me. She was hoping I would agree that it was the right thing to do, but I was running out of reasons to support her daily trips into danger.
“For the next week,” she whispered, “we’ll concentrate on clearing the road, that way we don’t miss any coming out of Shallot on this side. Then, we’ll eventually make another trip to Shallot. I don’t think they’ll be that many left in town, do you?”
I shook my head. “It’s hard to tell.”
“I think it will be thinned out. We’ll stay in Shallot until it’s clear, and then we’ll work on the road between Shallot and the other highway.”
I sat up. “Have you told the guys this?”
“I mentioned it on the way home. Skeeter and Bryce are on board. I’ll ask Joey if he wants to come.”
“Jesus Christ, Scarlet, when will it stop? When will it be enough?”
“Keep your voice down.”
“I’m trying. God knows I’m trying, but you have to tell me when this little project is going to be over.”
“Little project?”
I frowned. “Do you have any idea what I go through every morning when you leave? What I go through all day until you come back?”
“Yeah. I have an idea,” she said, crawling out of bed.
“God, Scarlet . . . ,” I said, feeling terrible. “I’m sorry.”
She left without saying a word, and I lay back against my pillow, looking up at the ceiling while I let myself drown in the guilt that washed over me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Miranda
After the eighth day in a row of clearing, Scarlet and the boys took a day off. We had all been looking forward to it. While they were gone, Nathan and I took turns keeping an eye out on the roof. It was so damn hot that—even guzzling water—we would be nearly sun sick by the time we climbed down. And then we had to keep an eye on the girls. It was exhausting. I couldn’t imagine how the boys felt every day.
Ashley had been taking food into her bedroom, but today she decided to venture to the dining room. It was obvious we were trying to keep the conversation light. Ashley didn’t eat or speak much, but it was a big step for her to come to the table with us, and we all knew it.
It was my turn to wash the dishes. Joey brought in a bucket of water from outside, and then stuck around to dry as I cleaned.
“I hope it rains soon,” he said. “Not much water left in the basin.”
We hadn’t had any time alone together since the day we were on the roof, and even though I played it off, and even though he’d come in with bad news, I was almost giddy when he offered to help.
“You’re getting to be quite domestic,” I teased. Joey elbowed me, and I giggled.
Bryce walked into the kitchen and grabbed a towel. “I’ll do that,” he said to Joey.
“We’re almost done,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound like I just wanted to keep Joey in the kitchen with me—because that’s exactly what I wanted.
Bryce looked at us both expectantly, and then Joey and I traded glances.
“I was going to get some target practice in, anyway.” Joey and I used that to steal a few moments alone together a few weeks back, and I smiled, knowing it was an invitation.
“Better warn Skeeter,” Bryce called. “Wouldn’t want him to accidentally gun you down,” he grumbled under his breath.
The second the storm door slammed, I tried to think of a reason to go outside with Joey. Bryce and I finished the dishes, and he was putting them away. Scarlet, Nathan, and Zoe were playing some kind of homemade board game in the middle of the living-room floor.
“Miranda, Ashley went outside earlier. I’m going to check on her when I’m finished,” Bryce said, shutting a cabinet door.
“I’ll do it,” I said, trying not to sound as eager as I felt. My hands were shaking, thankful I had a reason, and excited that it was Bryce who had come up with one. That would mean fewer questions later. I tried to be nonchalant as I walked casually out the front door.
He wasn’t at the back of the house, where we’d met the last time. It didn’t take long before I realized I didn’t see Joey . . . or Ashley.
“Hey, Skeeter,” I called, looking up to the roof. He poked his head over the edge. “You see Joey or Ashley?”
Skeeter pointed south, but didn’t say a word.
I walked out to the barn, but Butch and I were the only two around.
Several emotions bubbled to the surface: confusion, worry, and even suspicion. Noises from behind the barn piqued my curiosity, so I peeked around the corner. Joey and Ashley were standing in the field together. She was holding the rifle, and he was trying to help her hold it correctly. He said something, making her drop the barrel toward the ground a bit. His hand was on her hip for a fraction of a second. They began to laugh, the ugly kind that produces tears. Joey even doubled over and steadied himself with his hands on his knees.
My face instantly flushed and my eyes filled with tears. At first I was angry with Ashley. She’d been walking around the house nearly comatose, not responding to anyone or anything. All she’d done for almost ten days was cry and sleep. Every time I tried to talk to her, she’d just get angry. But in the field with Joey, she was herself again. Laughing and joking like Cooper hadn’t been shot in the face right in front of her less than two weeks before. Suddenly, alone with Joey, she was just fine.
I stifled back a sob, letting the jealousy, and then the guilt, swallow me whole. Of course Ashley deserved to do something other than be miserable. How could I say that I loved her and then be angry with her for having a moment of peace? I slowly let myself slide to the ground and sat in the dirt. Sweat was forming along my hairline, and a drop finally fell just in front of my ear. It was like an oven, even in the shade, but Ashley and Joey didn’t notice they were baking with the sun shining straight down on them.