Chapter Two
I’m sitting in my office with the door closed. It’s the middle of the night when Avery is normally sleeping but I can sense her closing the distance between us with each step she takes in my direction. Even these twelve-inch steel walls surrounding me can’t block the fusion I have with her. I squeeze my eyes tightly, wishing all of it away: The connection. The desire. The love I have for her.
Avery Ferrand is a torture to my mind, my body and my soul like I’ve never known.
I silently pray she will pass quickly but she stops at my office door. I listen closely but then laugh to myself because it’s useless. I’m inside a soundproof room that won’t allow me to hear anything but it’s of little consequence. I don’t need to hear Avery to know her every move.
A moment later she rings the buzzer and I go completely stupid. I’m unsure of what to do so I remain motionless as I stare at the door hoping she’ll go away. Several seconds pass and I hear the sound again before she struggles to open the heavy door. “Sol?”
The door still separates us so I close my eyes a second time as I savor the way my name sounds coming from her lips. I’ve heard her say it so few times and I’m convinced she must be an angel because nothing has ever sounded sweeter. “Come in.”
She pushes the door half-open, peers around and takes a look at the stack of papers on the desk in front of me. “You’re busy. Should I come back later?”
“No. It looks a lot worse than it really is. Please, come in.” I realize my mistake as soon as I ask her to enter my office. I shouldn’t ask her to come into a room alone with me even if I’ve never attempted to drink from her again. There’s not a chance in hell she’ll feel safe unless someone knows she’s with me.
I rise from my chair and gesture toward the door. “Or I can join you in the living room.” This is my way of offering her an out without it becoming awkward. Truth be told I’m doing it more for me than her. I don’t think I can stand seeing the fear she’ll have by being alone with me.
She leans against the door and uses her body weight to close it as I’m walking toward her. “No. What I have to say doesn’t concern the others so I’d rather stay here. This is between you and me.”
I almost think I hear the screech of my shoes when I stop dead in my tracks after I comprehend what’s happening. Avery has closed us off from the rest of the family. And the world. No one can hear a sound behind these walls.
I take a step in retreat and the back of my legs collide with the desk. She smiles and I can only guess that it is sparked by my unusual display of clumsiness. “It’s okay, Sol. I’m not afraid of being alone with you.” She steps away from the door and walks around to one of the chairs. “I know you won’t hurt me. I wouldn’t be in here if I thought otherwise.”
She sits in one of the black and white damask print chairs and places her hand on the arm of its mate. “Will you sit with me? I’d like to talk about us.” She wants me next to her–not on the other side of my desk. And she wants to discuss us?
I proceed with caution toward the empty chair because it’s been my way with Avery from the beginning. I’m always careful to make slow, deliberate movements in her presence so I don’t startle or frighten her.
My mind is racing with wonder about what she could possibly want to discuss. “Is there something wrong?”
“No. It’s the complete opposite. Something ….” She stops and appears as though she’s choosing her words carefully. “No. Make that everything is finally right for once.”
It’s painful when I understand what she’s referring to. I feel a dreadful heaviness deep in my chest because I realize everything finally being right for her translates into one thing: she’s thrilled that I’m leaving. And it breaks my heart but I can’t allow her to see that. “It’ll certainly make life easier for you once I’m gone. You won’t have to look at me every day and remember what I did to you.”
She shakes her head from side to side slowly. “I’m not happy you’ve decided to leave the Savannah compound. I’m happy because your decision has forced me to realize how badly I don’t want you to go.”
Confusion immediately sets in. She’s been fearful of me since the night of the blood jewel ceremony. Why would she want me to stay and put her through the torture of living under the same roof? “I don’t understand. You’re terrified of me. I thought you’d be pleased to hear that I’m leaving.”
“I’m not scared of you.” She looks down at her hands in her lap. “But I am terrified by the feelings I have for you and the things I want you to do to me.” She looks up and swallows hard. “I want you to stay. With me.”
Is it possible I’ve mistaken her body’s reaction as fear all this time when it was something else all together? Like … love? No. I won’t get my hopes up because it’s a ridiculous thought to imagine she could possibly have feelings like that for me. She is a blood jewel and I’m a vampire. Ironically, our roles are reversed. She is an unintentional predator and I am her prey. There’s only one relationship that could possibly exist between us and it doesn’t involve love or romance. It is sordid and exists solely for the purpose of addicting me to her blood.
I look at the pained expression on her face and see that she truly believes the things she’s saying. And that’s why my words are going to hurt her. I get up from the chair and walk to the window. I can’t look at her anymore. She makes me hope for more than what is possible between us. “You’ll see that it was the right decision after I’m gone.”
I hear her get up from the chair and approach me from behind. “Turn around and look at me.”
If I do, it’ll be my undoing. I’m certain of it. “I can’t.”
“Yes you can.”
There’s an internal battle raging inside me but I give in and turn to her because it’s what she asks. And because it’s what I want as well.
She lifts her hands to touch my face, placing her palms on each side. She looks into my eyes and a smile–a breathtakingly beautiful one–appears. “I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so long.”
Being like this with her is exactly what I have been dreaming of for months. It’s no less wonderful than I imagined but I can’t ignore how wrong it is. And dangerous for both of us. We shouldn’t be this close. And we damn sure shouldn’t be alone in this room. “You need to go.”