“Tell me what part of it worries you.”
“For one, you’ll take your father’s place as leader one day. When you do, you won’t be mine anymore.”
She’s wrong. “Bonny. I’ll always be yours. Nothing will change that.”
“You can say you’ll be mine but it isn’t true. Not really. I’ll always have to share you with The Fellowship. In a sense, they own you.”
The part she possesses is so much bigger. “I belong to you, Bleu. And you belong to me. That is never going to change.”
“All of this is a lot to take in without any kind of warning. I need time to sort out my thoughts.”
This is the worst marriage proposal in history. Marry me or die. No woman spends her life dreaming of those words. “My proposal is unexpected and unromantic. I can’t imagine a worse combination. I don’t even have a ring for you.” I cradle her face with my hand. “For that, I’m truly sorry but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I swear.”
She doesn’t reply.
“Say yes, Bleu. Take your place as my wife and mother of my children.”
“I can’t believe you just said something so cruel.” She jerks away. “You know I want to be a mother but there’s a very high probability that’ll never happen.”
I don’t believe that. I see our future when I look into her eyes and it has everything we dream of. “If you want babies, you will have them one way or another. I’ll see to it.”
“The Fellowship will expect you to produce a legitimate heir. What are they going to say when I can’t give you a son?”
“I don’t care what they say but we already know we don’t have the luxury of waiting. We’ll see the best fertility specialist right away. We’ll make our decision together based on what is best for us. Not The Fellowship.”
“I want to be crystal clear about one thing since we’re talking children. If I say yes and if by some miracle, I’m able to become pregnant and if it’s a boy, I won’t let you take him from me.”
“I know. I’d never expect you to go along with that.” I’m a little hurt she thinks I’d take our child from her. “I don’t think you fully grasp how much I love you, Bleu. I’m willing to change the rules for you.”
She reaches for my hand. “Believe me when I say it doesn’t go unnoticed.”
Although I’m willing to move heaven and earth for her, some things I can’t get around. “As much as I love you, I need you to understand something. Any son of ours will be raised in the way of The Fellowship. That part is nonnegotiable.”
“And that’s only one of a million different things I have to consider.”
I’ve dropped a bomb on her. “Take some time to think everything over—but don’t tarry for long. Abram’s men are closing in. It would be a much better scenario for Abram to call them off because we’re married rather than be discovered and have a showdown.”
Bleu has no choice, even if she’s yet to recognize that reality. That’s why it’s all the more important that I give her time to adjust and accept her fate without feeling as though I’m forcing her hand. My lass is stubborn and headstrong. I’ll fare much better as her husband if she believes she’s the one making this decision.
“I’m going to leave you to your thinking.”
Bleu puts her hand to my chest, stopping me from getting up. She swings her leg over my body, straddling me. Her hands slide up my arms and over my shoulders as her lips meet mine. “Don’t go, Breck. There’s been too much space between us as it is.”
I don’t want to go but I must. “This is the most important decision of your life. You don’t need me in your bed clouding your judgment.”
“You aren’t going to cloud my judgment.” She leans forward and kisses my mouth again while her hands tug at the buckle of my belt.
I place my hand on top of hers to still it. “I don’t want you to look back on this years from now and wonder if you said yes because I seduced it out of you or you got caught up in the moment. You have serious things to consider.”
She must never question her choice. I won’t have her one day hate or blame me because she feels I swayed her decision.
I hold her face with my palms. “I won’t be far.”
She holds me firmly. That’s when I know she doesn’t plan to let me go. “If you’re not next to me, then you’re too far.”
I roll so she’s lying beneath me, my body pressing her into the bed. She beams, believing she’s getting what she wants, until I peel her arms from my shoulders and her legs from my waist. “I’m giving you three days to decide.”
“I love you, my sweet Bonny Bleu.” I kiss her quickly. “I’ll be back in seventy-two hours for your answer.”
Chapter Three
Bleu MacAllister
That fucking Scottish bastard! He waltzes into my life after we’re apart for three months and asks me to be his wife. Sort of. I’m not sure saying “marry me” constitutes asking. It sounds more like a demand. A man is supposed to go to his knee and declare his undying love with pretty words before asking his beloved to marry him.
That’s not at all what I got from Sin. No knee. No declaration of undying love. No pretty words followed by a question mark.
The jerk tells me to marry him and then swaggers out the door without making love to me. He claims he doesn’t want to alter my decision with sex but I’m not a fool. He wants me desperate for him. And I am. But I’m also furious. I would consider killing him if I didn’t already know how painful it is to live without him.
Sin presented his marriage proposal as though he was asking and the choice was mine. We both know that isn’t the case. He was being kind—and smart—since he can guess how well an ultimatum will go over with me.
I’m well aware of what my life looks like if I don’t marry Sin. That doesn’t mean I’ll accept without considering all the potential scenarios associated with becoming the wife of a Fellowship leader.
Divorce won’t be an option if things don’t go well. Neither Sin nor the brotherhood will ever release me. I’ll be married to Sinclair Breckenridge and The Fellowship until my dying breath. It’s literally a commitment until death do we part.
I’ll keep company with liars, thieves, and killers on a daily basis. In a sense, I’d become their leader as well since I firmly believe behind every great man is a great woman. Can I associate with these types of people every day?