“I was quite naked by the time she came to clean the next morning. I’d struggled and squirmed trying to get free and lost the bed sheet.” The view probably thrilled that old lady. “Maybe I should leave you like this for your sister to discover so you can find out how humiliating it is.”
“Please, don’t. I wouldn’t have an explanation to give her.”
“You wouldn’t tell her your soon-to-be husband left you this way?”
He’s so sure I’m going to say yes. “I haven’t agreed to marry you.” Yet.
“Of course you haven’t. Instead of thinking about our future, you’ve been busy thinking of how to strong-arm me into your bed.”
“That’s not true. I’ve given it a lot of thought in the two hours since you asked.”
“Then tell me your thoughts so far.”
I yank on the handcuffs holding me hostage. “I don’t want to have a serious conversation while I’m bound to the bed.”
“Tough. You’re staying this way until I decide to release you.”
I want to scream—and I would if my sister wouldn’t come running into the room. “You are frustrating the fuck out of me right now.”
“Aye. I know.” The bastard is laughing at me again. He does that far too often.
“I was taught right from wrong and raised with morals. I’m not sure how I’ll deal with my newfound Fellowship family.”
He’s laughing. Again. “Bleu. We met because you were trying to kill my father. I’m sorry but that completely calls your principles into question.”
Okay. I can see where he might find that concern laughable. “I know. I’m the pot calling the kettle black.”
“You should never worry about being asked to go against any morals you may have. As my wife, you’d never be expected to dirty your hands.”
“But that could be a problem as well. I don’t want to do nothing. I would need to be productive. I’d go mad as a stay-at-home wife.”
“All right. That part is negotiable. What other things have you given thought?”
This one could be a deal-breaker for him. “I’m not sure I want to bring children into a world where lying, stealing, and murder is acceptable. I want them to understand right from wrong.”
“You act as though we have no scruples, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We have strict codes and beliefs in place. Family and honor mean everything to us. Our children would be taught the value of life. I don’t think you can say that about a lot of kids in the world.”
Let’s see what he has to say about this. “Men in leadership roles tend to have mistresses. I won’t put up with that.”
“You’re the only woman for me, Bonny. Ever.”
“What about my sister’s safety?”
“The blanket of protection over you would extend to her. She won’t be hurt.”
I don’t agree. Even if no one physically harms her, she’s going to be hurt if I leave her. “If I become one of you, she—nor my father—can know.”
“Bleu. You’re failing to understand something. Even if you don’t agree to be my wife, you’re already one of us. Your initiation is long-standing. It will never be undone.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.” He’s right. I’m bound to The Fellowship. They aren’t going to let me go.
“Back to your concerns about your family. Your sister will never know anything about The Fellowship. It’s safer that way. But that also means she’ll never visit us in Edinburgh. We can’t risk her being caught in the middle of Fellowship business and learning who and what we are. We’ll always come to the US to see her. And that could be few and far between after I become leader. I won’t be able to leave often.”
I’ll gain Sin but lose Ellison. “I can’t leave my sister.”
“You will. Because you love her and want to keep her safe.”
This isn’t fair. “I want her shielded from danger but I don’t want to give up seeing her.”
“You’ll still see her—just not frequently. But you can talk to her as often as you want. Every day, if you like.”
“It won’t be the same. How would you feel if you couldn’t see Mitch?” That’s probably not the greatest example since Sin and Mitch don’t have a close relationship like Ellison and I do. “Scratch that. How would you feel if you couldn’t see Jamie and Leith?”
“I wouldn’t like it but I’d do it if that’s what ensured their safety.”
I’m suddenly wrecked by the realization of what has to happen. And it’s all my fault. I brought this upon myself.
My wrists remain imprisoned above my head so I turn my face into my upper arm. I don’t want Sin to see my ugly cry.
“Don’t, Bleu. You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”
I can’t stop myself. I’m destroyed.
As I heave to catch my breath, I feel the mattress dip. Sin releases the cuffs and pulls me onto his lap. His arms are wrapped tightly around me. “Ellison’s the only family I’ll have after my dad is gone.”
He strokes my hair as I cling to him. “That’s not true. You have a huge family waiting for you in Edinburgh.”
“Then I’m all my sister will have and I’ll be leaving her.”
He sighs. “I’ll make sure you see Ellison as often as possible.”
“If I decide to marry you, I can’t go to Edinburgh with you right now. I have to be here for my dad until the end.”
“I know.” Sin kisses the top of my head. “I’ll wait for you, Bonny. Always.”
Chapter Four
Sinclair Breckenridge
As promised, I’ve given Bleu three days to consider my proposal. I’ve continued to watch over her from afar just as I’ve done for the past three weeks. She’s gone about her life, spending her days with Harry at the hospice and her nights at home.
The waiting has been more brutal than I anticipated. Each night I wrestled with giving in and going to her. I somehow managed to hold it together and stay away. But now the time has come. Her seventy-two hours are up and I’m ready for an answer.
I call her cell to forewarn her of my imminent arrival. “Time’s up, Bonny. I’m coming in.”
“Right now?”
She sounds as though she’s taken aback but she shouldn’t be. I told her three days. It’s been exactly seventy-two hours since I proposed. “I told you when I’d return. This shouldn’t come as a surprise.”