“Bro,” Miller said, “she can come back with us.”
“Take care of her.”
“I’m not a doll.”
“See you later, cuz,” I said, mimicking her nickname.
Then, I was out the door.
The drive back to Princeton felt like it was taking forever. The roads were shit from a snowstorm that had blown in recently. It had been awesome on the slopes, but it wasn’t so great to drive in. I was thankful for my truck because I drove recklessly back to Ari. I just had to get to her. I had to make it right. No matter what it took.
Chapter 40: Aribel
I heard the beating on the door before Cheyenne did. I dashed to her room and flung the door open wide. “Chey, you have to answer the door.”
“Ari, are you sure about this? I’ve never known you to back away from confrontation,” Cheyenne said, her voice sympathetic.
“I’m not backing down from confrontation. We had our confrontation last night, and it was horrible! I can’t talk to him today. Please, I’ve never asked you for anything like this.”
“Besides driving you back from the ski resort a day early when I was getting together with Vin?”
I shuddered. Vin. Gross. “Thank you. You’re the best friend ever.”
“All right, but I’m only doing this because I love you,” Cheyenne said.
She walked to the door, and I huddled on the floor within earshot of the conversation that was about to go down.
I hadn’t thought that Grant would follow me. I’d made a split second decision this morning to come back to Jersey. I’d even called my parents and asked if we could move up the flight to Boston, so I could come home earlier. They’d been surprised since I’d insisted on going on the ski trip in the first place, but they hadn’t complained. They missed me.
Now, Grant was here. What do I do now that he’s here?
“Grant…hey,” Cheyenne answered warily.
“Where is she, Cheyenne?”
My heart pounded from the sound of his voice. I just wanted some space. I needed time to think about whether or not this was what I wanted, but then hearing his voice…it just brought back all the memories.
“She left already.”
“What? No way. Her car is still out there!”
“I dropped her off.”
“In Newark?” he asked incredulously. “You would have never made it back by now.”
I watched Cheyenne shrug. She was lying for me. I would squeeze her if I didn’t feel like a total jerk for cowering behind the door while she fought my battles for me.
“Come on, I know she’s in there. I need to talk to her.”
“I already said she’s not here. You should just go back home.”
“Ari!” he yelled.
I heard his hand hit the door gently to keep Cheyenne from closing it.
“Ari, I know you’re in there! Just come talk to me. Can’t we talk about this?”
I closed my eyes and put my head between my knees. God, I just wanted to run to him. I wanted to see him and have that feeling of completion again. But I couldn’t forget our argument, and I wasn’t ready to have another one. I’d asked for time, and I still needed it.
“She’s not in here!” Cheyenne yelled back. “And even if she were, do you think she would talk to you with all this yelling? Haven’t you done enough damage?”
“I just want to fix this,” he told Cheyenne. “She has to know how I feel about her.”
Oh no, not the tears again.
“Well, if you really care about her, I think the best thing to do is to just back off. She’s stressed. She’s never been in this kind of situation. I told her you were going to break her heart, but she wouldn’t listen.”
I felt the tears trickle down my face at Cheyenne’s words. There was the I told you so that Cheyenne had kept from her lips when I asked her to drive me home this morning.
“So, just give her some space. Maybe after the break, she’ll want to talk to you.”
“I can’t wait that long. I can’t risk losing her, Cheyenne.”
“You already have.”
Her words hit me like a ton of bricks, so I couldn’t imagine what it had just done to Grant. I’d risked so much by getting involved with him, but it felt like I was risking more by giving him up. And this relationship purgatory we were currently hanging in made the agony of a decision even worse.
He hadn’t lost me. I was still his.
My heart and my body called out to comfort him, but I didn’t. My mind was still reminding me of how much he’d hurt me.
“Well, if you see her, then tell her I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have even let Kristin into my room. I understand how serious it all is, but there is no one else for me. No one. It wasn’t even a thought in my mind. Ari is it. She’s the only girl I’ve ever fallen for, and I’d really be worthless if I let her walk away without a fight. So…so, just tell her to talk to me. I want to make it right.” Grant’s voice was hoarse. I’d never heard him like this.
“I’ll tell her, but I really think you should just leave her alone,” Cheyenne said.
“I can’t. I’ll never be able to.”
Cheyenne sighed. “At least for break. Just think about what she wants for a change. If she wanted to talk to you and make things right, wouldn’t she be talking to you right now?”
“I’ll give her whatever she wants. If she wants silence, I can give her that.” He practically forced the words out. “But I’m here to stay, Cheyenne. You tell her that, too.”
“I’ll tell her,” she said before closing the door. “Well, that went well.”
I shook my head and let the tears fall freely. “I should have spoken to him. He sounded so distraught.”
Cheyenne plopped down next to me and wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulder. “I know this is your first real relationship, Ari, but take it from someone who knows…it’s better to let him suffer a little.”
“I don’t want him to suffer.”
“Don’t you? Just a little?”
I laughed, but it came out more like a hiccup. “I just want to put the pieces back together. I feel…God, I don’t even know. I feel like he ripped my body in half.”
“It’ll be okay,” she said softly.
I rested my head on her shoulder and cried.
“Just go away for break. Take some time to think about everything that happened. If you want him back, then it sounds like he’s willing.”