“You’re having an affair with Jared’s mom?”
He nodded and headed around his desk to sit down. “Off and on for eighteen years now. There’s nothing you can tell me about wanting something you can’t have that I don’t understand, Madoc. Katherine and I have had a lot of history, a lot of struggles, and bad timing. But we love each other, and I’m going to marry her as soon as possible.”
“Are you serious?” I gasped and laughed at the same time. “What the f**k?”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Hey, I’m having an affair with your best friend’s mom. Hey, we’re getting married. And he talked about it as if he were commenting on the weather. That’s my f**king father for you. He does what he wants, and you roll with it, or you don’t. He was just like . . .
“Wait.” My gut knotted up. “Eighteen years? You’re not Jared’s dad, are you?”
He looked at me like I was insane. “Of course not. She’d just had Jared when we met.” Rubbing his hands over his face, he changed the subject. “I got this envelope from Fallon. Along with this and one of my business dealings, because for all intents and purposes, she’s blackmailing me, Madoc.”
The file folder crumpled in my fist. “You’re lying.”
“I’m not.” He consoled me with his flat voice. “This is all so much more complicated than you realize, but I want you to know that although Fallon came back here with ulterior motives, I don’t think she wanted to hurt you. She could’ve gone to the media with what she has on me. It would’ve hurt this family.”
I stared at the pictures, my breath getting shallower, faster, and my face warming with anger.
“She’s very angry,” he continued softly as if thinking out loud. “But she didn’t go to the media, Madoc. She didn’t want to cause you any pain.”
“Stop trying to protect me,” I bit out, sitting down in the chair again.
If she came back to blackmail my dad, then everything else was a lie, too.
“So what does she have on you?” I asked. “Besides this?” I held up the folder.
He hooded his eyes and spoke hesitantly. “It was a payoff I negotiated. It was illegal and I could lose my license, to say the least. But it wasn’t a decision I made lightly, and I would do it again.” He looked straight at me. “Nonetheless, Fallon’s not asking for much. And I didn’t tell you any of this to hurt you. I told you so you could move forward. I didn’t force Fallon to leave. She texted me last night.”
He tossed me his phone, so I could see his messages. Sure enough, the first text was from Fallon.
“She’s not right for you.” His voice was like a distant echo as I stared at the words on his screen. “Her father, for starters . . .” He trailed off.
And then I lost him. My stomach sank, I dropped the phone on the floor, and then laid my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands.
I remembered this feeling. It’s what I felt years ago when they’d told me she was gone all of a sudden. When I saw her empty bed where we lost our virginity together. And when I couldn’t sleep, and I’d storm into the basement to play the piano.
I didn’t want this again. I’d never wanted to feel that again. I inhaled a deep breath until my lungs ached so badly I thought they would burst.
“Stop talking,” I cut him off from whatever he was talking about. “Just stop talking. Eighteen years?” I asked. “That means that you were seeing Katherine Trent when you were married to my mother.”
His gaze dropped to his desk, and then back up to me. He said nothing, but I saw the guilt in his eyes.
For Christ’s sake. What the hell was the matter with him?
“Madoc,” he spoke low. “I’m sending you to Notre Dame early,” he told me in a resigned voice.
What?
He must’ve seen the confused scowl on my face, because he explained. “Things are going to get sticky here. With the divorce, Patricia will have no choice but to come home. You’ll stay at the house in South Bend until the dorms open up.”
“Hell, no!” I shook my head, standing back up.
As usual, my father stayed calm, not moving. “Fine, then go see your mother in New Orleans for the rest of the summer. You will not stay here. I want you to get perspective, and you need space.”
I ran my hand through my hair. What the hell was happening? I didn’t want to go to Indiana for the rest of the summer. I barely knew anyone, other than some faculty my father had introduced me to here and there on our trips to sporting and alumni events.
I wasn’t going. No f**king way!
And I wasn’t going to New Orleans, either. My friends were here.
“Madoc.” He shook his head at me like he could read my thoughts and was telling me no. “You will go, you will find a job or some volunteer work to pass your time, because right now I’m trying to protect you from yourself. I will pull my support, the tuition, your car, until you see the light. Distance is what you need right now. Do it, or you’re going to force my hand.”
• • •
In the span of a few short hours, I’d gone from disgustingly happy and excited about life to looking for a fight.
Fallon hadn’t even taken anything she’d brought with her except the clothes on her back.
It was all a lie, but then what did I expect? We screwed. It’s not like we talked about shit or had a date or had anything in common. There were other women to give me what she did.
But everything felt wrong again. Just like before. The clouds hung too low, the house was too empty, and I wasn’t hungry. Not for food, not for a good time, not for anything except a fight.
I didn’t care why I was mad. Hell, I wasn’t even sure why I was mad. I just knew I had to take it out on someone.
I jumped in my car and sped over to Jared’s house, knowing I wouldn’t get pulled over. Cops never pulled me over. A perk of being my father’s son. My sweaty palms strangled the steering wheel as I jacked up Linkin Park’s “Numb” and hauled ass. My tires screeched to a halt in front of his house, and I jumped out of the car, not caring that Tate and her dad were under the hood of his car with him.
“Your mom is messing around with my dad?” I shouted.
All three of them spun around to face me.
“Dude, what?” Jared looked confused, wiping his hands on a shop cloth.
I stalked across the lawn, sticking my keys in my pocket while Jared met me halfway. “Your slut of a mother has been sleeping with my dad for years,” I snarled. “He’s been giving her money, and they’re like getting married and shit!”