“I’ll look into it.” He cocked his head at me. “What else?”
“Nothing.” I gave a closemouthed smile.
“That’s it. Your mother and Ted O’Rourke. Nothing for yourself?”
Standing up, I tucked a few strands of hair behind my ear and dropped my arms to my side. Putting my hands in my pockets would also be a sign of weakness.
“This was never about me, Jason, but you made it about me, didn’t you? That’s why you freaked when you caught Madoc and me together. You knew who my father was and what my mother was like by then, and you assumed the worst about me. You didn’t want your only son playing in the dirt.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fallon, you were only kids. It was too much, too fast. I always liked you.”
“I don’t like you,” I shot back. “The guilt, the sadness, the abandonment by adults that were supposed to stand by me at the very least, and everything that happened afterward was stuff I should never have gone through. Especially alone.”
He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What stuff afterward?”
I lost my scowl. Didn’t he know?
Of course. Why would I have thought my mother would have told him?
I shook my head, ignoring his question. Who cared? It’s not like he would have protected me anyway.
“Those are the pictures I have of Katherine Trent. I kept nothing digital.”
He blinked. “You’re just letting me have them now? That’s not how blackmail works.”
“This isn’t blackmail,” I sneered. “I’m not like you. But I know a lot of bad people, and that’s why I know that you’ll do what I’m asking. If you keep your word, I’ll say nothing.”
Yeah, he knew who my father was and the kind of people I knew through him. I would never have used them to hurt anyone, but he didn’t know that.
He looked up and asked, “How do I know to trust you? I don’t want Katherine’s name dragged through the dirt.”
“I’ve never lied to you,” I pointed out and turned to walk away.
“Fallon?” he called, and I turned back to face him. “I’ve known for a long time where my talents lie. And my faults.” He stood, sticking his hands in his pockets. “I’ve neglected my wives, my son, and I never took much interest in anything outside of the courtroom.” His sigh was weary. “But no matter what you think, I do love my son.”
“I believe you do.”
“Was it so bad?” His eyes narrowed, studying me. “Being separated from him? I mean after all this time, can’t you see that it was for the best? Did it really hurt so much?”
Hurt. My jaw tightened, and my eyes burned. Did he ever love anything enough to be hurt?
My voice was almost a whisper. “I thought it did. At first. It hurt when I was ripped away from him without a good-bye. It hurt that I couldn’t see or talk to him. It hurt when my mother didn’t call me or invite me home for holidays. And it hurt when I snuck back here after a few months and found Madoc with someone else.” I straightened my shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. “But what really hurt was being forced by my mother into that clinic, into that room, and being all alone while that machine stole his baby out of my body.”
His eyes widened, and I knew without a doubt that he hadn’t known.
I nodded, my voice raspy. “Yeah, that’s the part that really sucked.”
I turned, walked out, and tried not think about the heartbroken look on Jason Caruthers’s face before he buried it in his hands.
CHAPTER 14
MADOC
“Madoc!”
I opened my eyes, blinking away the sleep, and shot up in bed when I saw Addie staring down at me.
“Addie. What the hell?” I adjusted the sheets to make sure I was covered.
This was f**king awkward.
Like she didn’t know what was going on, anyway. I was na**d in Fallon’s bed for Christ’s sake, but still. Addie hadn’t seen me na**d since, well . . . last New Year’s when I got drunk and jumped in the freezing-ass pool on a dare from Tate.
“Where’s Fallon?” I asked, looking around.
“Honey, I don’t know what’s going on, but Fallon is gone, and your father is downstairs. He wants to talk to you now.” She nodded and gave me the crazy eyes which meant that I needed to get my ass up.
Shit. I threw off the covers, and I heard a tsk behind me as I’m sure Addie didn’t appreciate me stalking across the room buck naked.
“Where did Fallon go?” I shouted as I crossed the hallway into my room.
“I have no idea. She was gone when I got up.”
No. No. No. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head as I threw on some boxer briefs, a pair of jeans, and a T-shirt. Grabbing my socks and keys, I had no intention of dealing with my father for long.
I was going to find her and drag her back by her hair if I had to. What the f**k?
Running downstairs, I grabbed my shoes where I had dumped them near the stairs and walked into my father’s office.
“Where’s Fallon?” I demanded, plopping down in the chair opposite his desk and putting my socks and shoes on.
My father was sitting on the edge of his desk with a drink in his hand, and I did a double-take. Now I was actually a little worried. My father was controlled and responsible. If he was drinking in the morning, then . . . I don’t even know. I’ve never seen him drink in the morning. I just knew it was odd, and my father lives by his routine.
“She’s gone,” he answered.
“Where?”
“I wouldn’t know. She left of her own accord, Madoc. And you’re not going anywhere. We’ve got to talk.”
I laughed bitterly and finished tying my shoes. “Say what you have to say, and make it quick.”
“You can’t have a relationship with Fallon. It’s just not possible.”
His bluntness threw me for a loop. I guess he knew we’d started up again. Did I want a relationship with her?
I stood up, ready to leave. “You’ve had two failed marriages. You don’t get to give me advice about this kind of stuff.”
He reached behind him and snatched a folder off his desk, shoving it into my chest. “Take a look.”
I sighed but opened the folder anyway.
Jesus.
My heartbeat echoed in my ears as I sifted through picture after picture of my father and Jared’s mom, Katherine. Photos of them entering his apartment together, hugging and kissing in front of his window, him helping her out of cars . . .