My heart might be breaking, but I can’t look away from Tom. I never have been able to. Once he catches me with his eyes, I’m bound to him.
I don’t know what he sees on my face or what happens in this moment, but true pain fills his eyes and an agonized breath escapes him.
“You deserve better,” he says, low and rough. “You deserve better than me.”
His helmet is on, his motorcycle roars to life, and then he’s gone, disappearing into the thick of the LA traffic.
And I’m left standing here. The only things to show my time with Tom are his words echoing in my mind, my shredded heart, and the tears staining my cheeks.
An Hour Later—A Bar, Downtown LA
Lyla loves me.
She can’t love me. She can’t because…well, because I’m Tom Carter. I don’t do love.
I can’t love her. I can’t love anyone.
Never have, and I’m not about to start now for a tight pussy and awesome rack…and a beautiful smile.
Sure, I care about Lyla, but love…it never factored in.
Lyla’s a good girl who’s been dealt some shit hands in life. If she were with me, all I would do is continue to hurt her because that’s the kind of man I am.
She deserves better than me. She’s deserves a man who can—
A wave of anger has my jaw clenching, and my hand tightening around the glass of Jack at the thought of Lyla with another man.
I take a hard drink of the whiskey, trying to settle the rattled emotions inside me.
This is ridiculous. I don’t get jealous. I’m not that guy. I’m the one who doesn’t give a shit. The guy who fucks a woman and walks away, clean.
I don’t care. Ever.
And I need to stop caring about Lyla and who or what she does. Right fucking now.
It has to stop.
I need to get my life back on track.
This sleeping with only one woman has messed with my head. I just need to bang some chick, and I’ll be back to normal. And that normal needs to start now.
I let my eyes drift across the bar to the brunette who’s been staring at me since I arrived.
My eyes meet hers, and I see the look instantly.
She wants to fuck.
Perfect.
I let my eyes give her the once-over. Checking her out like I should have done the moment I arrived here.
I don’t usually lapse like this. I’ve been doing too much lapsing as of late, and that’s the problem.
This will get me back on track.
The brunette is tall, curvy. Definite hips and ass. Small tits, but I can live with it. I’m not looking to marry this chick. Just bang the hell out of her.
Sure, she’s no Lyla, but that’s the point.
Being with a blonde right now would be way too close. I need to be as far away as possible from anything remotely resembling Lyla.
The point of this is to get my mind off Lyla and my cock buried in someone else. And this brunette chick, who is clearly up for it and is the complete opposite of Lyla in every way, is perfect for what I need right now.
Tossing my drink back, I climb off my stool and make my way over to the brunette.
Fifteen Minutes Later—A Restroom Stall, A Bar, Downtown LA
“Fuck yeah. That’s it, sugar. Get down on your knees, and suck my cock.” I close my eyes to the feel of—shit, what’s her name? Macy, Lacy? Seriously, who gives a fuck as long as she gets me off?
I just need to get her mouth around my cock. Then, I’ll be back to the old me, and Lyla will get the fuck out of my head.
The image of Lyla standing on the sidewalk, telling me she’s in love with me is stuck in my brain.
The things I said to her. She was crying.
Fuck.
I didn’t mean to hurt her. I just panicked. She’ll never forgive me after what I said.
Whatever. Like it matters. I don’t need her to forgive me. Because Lyla and me are done.
I just did what needed to be done. Like ripping off a Band-Aid. Hurting her now and ending it saves any unpleasant shit in the future.
I might feel bad now, but the second this chick sucks on my cock, it will all just disappear.
Music suddenly comes on loud in the bar. Someone must have fed the jukebox. The heavy guitar line of “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day starts to hum through the wall.
I feel a tightening in my chest. An ache…like my heart is…
No.
Focusing my mind on the events occurring, I look down at the brunette fumbling with my jeans. For someone so eager to get on her knees, she’s taking her sweet time getting them open.
Impatient to get her mouth around me, I take over. Yanking the buttons open, I get my cock out.
I’m barely semi.
What the fuck?
Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s just because of this stupid not sleeping around that I’ve been doing. Only having sex with Lyla has just confused things. Confused my cock, but he’ll get back in the game once I get going with this chick. He’ll come to life when he gets in her mouth.
I need to be the Tom I used to be. The Tom who fucks and walks away. The Tom who doesn’t care. Because that’s the Tom I can work with.
Palming my cock, I stare down at her. “Open up, sugar, and make sure to suck me good and hard.”
She smiles up at me. Her smile is nowhere even close to being as beautiful as Lyla’s.
“I’m gonna suck you so good that you’ll never want me to stop.”
I highly doubt that.
But I roll with it. I watch her open up her mouth and slide my cock between her lips.
“Shit. Yeah, that’s it,” I hiss, palming the back of her head urging her to take more of my cock. “Take him all.”
With my cock in her mouth, she starts bobbing her head up and down, sucking me hard.
I close my eyes, trying to relax, as I focus on the feel of what she’s doing.
But nothing is happening.
What the fuck?
Needing this, feeling desperate, I grab a handful of her hair and start to pump my cock in and out of her mouth.
I just need to get hard, then I can fuck her, and everything will be back as it was.
I’ll be back to my old self.
I keep at it for a few minutes, fucking her mouth, but still nothing is happening. He’s not even grown another centimeter.
What the hell is going on?
This never happens to me. Ever.
The brunette lets my cock out of her mouth with a pop, and she starts to run her tongue all over him, making this moaning sound as she does.
It’s nothing like the sweet sounds Lyla makes when she sucks me.
It’s actually getting kind of annoying. I’m tempted to just shove my cock back in there to shut the girl up.