I ignore the fact that my heart feels like a balloon that someone filled up and then let go before tying it off, like it’s soaring around the room at the speed of light. “You did?”
“I did.”
I’m almost afraid to ask. But I do. “Why?”
“Because she’s not the one I want to be with.”
“But you work with her father.”
“I already talked to him, too.”
“You did?”
He laughs. “Yes. I’m done with all that…stuff. I can’t really tell people that Nash is dead, but I don’t have to continue on the same path. I’m letting Dad’s case go. Moving on. I’ll finish my internship and then decide what to do, whether I want to practice, where and how. I’m not letting the past rule my future anymore.”
While I appreciate what he’s saying, something bothers me. “But he’s your only family. And he’s in prison. If you can get him out, if there’s any chance at all, don’t you think you should still try?”
He looks down at our joined hands. He rubs his thumbs over my knuckles. “I haven’t felt like I’ve had a real home in years.” Cash pauses and looks up, his eyes meeting mine. They are warm. They are sweet. They are sincere. “Until I met you. You feel like home. And that’s more important than anything else. You’re my home now. You’re what matters.”
I want to kiss him. And hold him. And tell him I love him.
Do I love him?
The answer comes quickly.
Yes. I do.
But he hasn’t said those words to me. So I don’t say them to him. But I feel them.
“But if there’s something you can do to help him, I want you to try. Don’t abandon him because of me. I’ll help you however I can. I’m not afraid.” It’s just as I speak the words that I realize I’m not. I’m not afraid. And it’s because of Cash. And what I see in his eyes. “I know you won’t put me in danger. Not on purpose.” I tug one of my hands loose and trace his strong, square jaw with my fingertips. “I trust you, Cash. I trust you.”
He grabs my wrist and presses his lips to the inside then pulls gently until I’m bent at the waist and my face is close to his.
“Come home with me. Please.” I can feel his warm breath on my lips, they’re so close. I lean forward to close the small gap, but he leans away. “Please,” he repeats softly.
I would never tell him, but he could ask me anything right now and I’d agree to it. Anything at all.
“Okay.” As soon as the words leave my lips, his mouth is on mine.
His hands are hungry and urgent as he grabs me around the waist and turns to lay me on the bed. We undress each other as though we’ve never made love, as though this is the first time and we can’t wait one more second to feel skin on skin.
When he enters me, my whole world collapses. It melts and covers us as he moves within me, like a perfect crystalline cocoon. And when we are both satisfied and breathing heavily, Cash lays his forehead against mine and whispers, “Home.”
I think to myself that this is the very moment when I’m lost. Lost to Cash. Forever.
CHAPTER FORTY - Cash
As I straighten up my apartment, I can’t help but recognize that I’ve probably never felt more positive about life. Even before the “accident” I didn’t feel so good about the future. So optimistic. So…enthused.
And the difference?
Olivia.
I smile and shake my head as I think of her. She wanted to take a shower and clean up before she packed and headed over here. She suggested I go ahead. I’m not really surprised, I don’t guess. I know how girls are, what with their need for grooming time and personal space. So I kissed her and left. The strange thing is, I had to make myself leave rather than join her in the shower. I don’t know what it is about her, but I can’t seem to get enough. Even when I’ve had enough, I want more.
When my phone rings, I pull it out and check the screen. It says simply, “Olivia.” I smile wider.
“You’re supposed to be over here by now. What’s taking you so long?”
There’s a pause before she speaks. When she does, I hear her shy voice. “Um, I don’t know what kind of, um, plans you have for us tonight. Should I bring work clothes for tonight and tomorrow night? Or…?”
“You haven’t met him yet, but I have a guy that helps manage the bar. His name is Gavin and I already had him rework the schedule to cover your shifts this weekend. Why don’t you just take the time off and spend it with me?”
She laughs a little and when she answers, I can hear the smile in her voice. “I’d love to spend the weekend with you doing…whatever, but I really can’t afford to miss much more time.”
I’m smart enough and an astute enough observer of women to know offering her money would be a huge mistake. So, to keep the peace, I do what I need to. “Well, then just plan to work tomorrow night. Will that be enough, since you worked last night at Tad’s?”
“Yeah, I think that’ll be fine.”
“All right then. Get your ass over here.”
“On my way,” she chirps then the line goes dead.
I wonder if I’ll ever stop smiling and, if I can’t, what kind of excuse I’ll have to make up to explain it. Or if I’ll even bother. Because at the moment, I just don’t give a shit. I’m happy. She’s happy. That’s all that matters.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE - Olivia
Cash didn’t say where to park, so I stick with the lot out front, just to be safe. I’ll probably need to move it later, so as not to announce to everyone I’m getting preferential treatment because I’m screwing the boss.
I can’t help but grin. That sounds so trashy, but I just don’t care. I refuse to let anything or anyone ruin this happy time of my life. Happy times come by so infrequently, I’m determined to enjoy them as much as I can, while I can.
Retrieving my bag and purse from the back seat, I lock the doors and head around the side entrance to the apartment. Butterflies are alive and well in my stomach, which is kind of ridiculous considering that I’ve had sex with Cash well over a dozen times. But still…
The garage door is open as I approach. So is the interior door. And Cash is standing just inside it, smiling. He stops me from entering and takes my bag and purse from me, setting them on the floor behind him. Then, with a wicked grin, he sweeps me up into his arms and carries me inside, kicking the door shut with his heel.