I keep walking, around to the other side of the building, hoping for another door. And I hit pay dirt. There’s a side door. A big one.
It looks like Cash has converted a back corner of the club into an apartment and garage. I can tell by the nature of the wide, roll-up bay-type door. That and the fact that it’s open and his bike is parked inside. That’s kind of a dead giveaway.
I’m a little confused, however, when I see Nash’s car parked inside as well. Or at least it’s a vehicle that looks like Nash’s car.
My stomach twists into a nervous knot. I know they’re not exactly close, but that doesn’t mean they wouldn’t discuss me. I mean, they very much have me in common! Even more so after recent events.
I feel a little nauseous. I’m debating scampering back to my car when the interior door opens and Cash walks out. He doesn’t see me as he turns immediately to lock the door behind him. He’s also on the phone, which he tucks against his shoulder as he sets the deadbolt.
I can’t help but overhear his end of the conversation.
“Marissa, I told you I had meetings all weekend. There was just no way for me to do that. I didn’t have—”
He stops dead when he turns and sees me standing at the edge of the door. I’m sure my mouth is hanging open and I probably look every bit as confused as I feel.
One question is running on a loop through my mind. Why is Cash talking to Marissa that way? Why is Cash talking to Marissa that way?
We stare at each other for the longest minute of my entire life. It is so quiet in the garage, I can actually hear Marissa repeating Nash’s name over and over and over again.
Finally, without taking his eyes off mine, he addresses her. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll call you later.” And he hangs up.
He studies me for so long I begin to think he’s not going to say anything to me at all. But then he does.
“Why don’t you come in? We need to talk.”
My heart is thudding against my ribs. Hard! I was expecting any number of logical explanations. Maybe he was playing a prank. Maybe he was covering something up for Nash. Maybe I just misunderstood something. But the way Cash is watching me makes me think something is very, very wrong. And that I’m not going to like it.
I think of leaving. Of just walking right back to my car. These boys have been trouble for me from day one. If I was smart, I’d turn around and never look back.
But I know why I can’t. Even as the thought runs through my head, the thought of never seeing Cash again cuts through my chest like a knife blade. I feel the pain of it, the devastation of it. The life-changing wound of it. I feel everything but the blood, the blood that should be soaking my clothes.
I nod once and walk slowly, numbly across the polished floor to where he’s holding the now-open door for me.
I feel like I’m going to an execution.
Of my heart and my trust maybe.
And that’s pretty much right.
CHAPTER THIRTY - Cash
My pulse is racing. Just the thought of coming clean, of telling any one person all my secrets scares the shit out of me. I’m not sure why I’m going to tell Olivia. I just know that I am. That I have to. I have to trust her if I ever expect her to trust me. The thing is, I still haven’t figured out why that matters so much to me. Why I even care.
But I do. A whole hell of a lot.
She knows something’s up. She looks like she’s walking the plank and there are sharks in the water. I guess, in a way, there are. If one could consider me and my family’s history sharks.
I don’t even really see the mess I left in my apartment last night. When I got back from Olivia’s I shed my suit and left it crumpled in the floor right before I re-dressed as myself and went out to close up the club. Afterward, I’d fallen onto the bed, face first, and slept like the dead. Until Jake had come pounding at my door this morning, ready to deliver Olivia’s car. This double life thing is for the birds!
And now here I am, getting ready to tell someone, a girl who I haven’t known very long at all, my deepest, darkest, dirtiest, most dangerous secret. And the only thing I’m worried about is whether or not she’ll ever want to see me again. How’s that for crazy?
“Do you want something to drink? I just turned the coffee pot off, so it’s still hot.”
She’s looking around in a daze, no doubt trying to fit the pieces into the puzzle. But she won’t. Never in a thousand years would she ever guess. Unless I tell her.
“Olivia, have a seat on the couch. I’ll bring you some coffee. Then we’ll talk.”
I think she needs it more than I do, which is saying a lot. I pour us both a mug of coffee and run some hot water in the empty decanter, setting it back on the warmer until I can wash it out later. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. Some housekeeping things just come naturally at this point.
I hand her a cup and sit in the chair opposite her. I don’t want to crowd her and make what I’m about to say any worse. She’ll probably need a little space, a little distance after she hears it.
It surprises me when she speaks first. I don’t know why it would, though. Her backbone is obviously pretty sturdy. She just doesn’t always tap into it. But when she needs to, it’s there.
Like now.
“I don’t like games. I don’t like lies. Just tell me what’s going on. The truth.”
Her face is set. She’s braced herself. I guess if ever there’s a good time to drop a bomb like this, now’s probably it.
“All I ask is that you give me a chance to fully explain. Don’t go running off without hearing the whole story. Deal?”
She doesn’t agree immediately, which makes me a little nervous. But when she does, I know she means it.
“Deal.”
I wonder for a second whether or not I should tell her that repeating what she’s about to hear would be disastrous, but I decide against it. That’s like implying right off the bat that I don’t trust her, which I do. It’s just that I’ve never trusted anybody—anybody—with this before. I’m sure it’s natural to be a little leery.
“I’m Cash.”
Olivia just stares at me for a few seconds. I can only imagine how her mind must be spinning.
“I know that,” she says calmly. “But I want to know why were you acting like Nash?”
“Because I’m Nash, too.”
Her blank look says I just totally confused her, totally boggled her mind.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”