When Mr. Kirby asked to talk to her, I whispered conspiratorially, “That’s probably not a good idea right now. She’s pretty torn up about all this. Can she just stay here tonight and call you tomorrow?”
“But, it’s Christmas Eve and my daughter—”
I heard Mrs. Kirby’s voice interrupt him in the background just before Mr. Kirby covered the phone. When he came back on the line, he was more amenable. And though I could tell he wasn’t pleased about it, Mr. Kirby agreed to my suggestion.
I had completely forgotten that it was Christmas Eve, but unfortunately, that didn’t change anything. Right now, the main thing was that everyone was safe for the night and that I had a little time to figure out what to do next.
When I went back in to check on Leah, she was asleep. Her face was beet red and she was laying spread eagle with the covers thrown off, like she was hot. She muttered and tossed, but didn’t wake up so I closed the door behind me and went to get a pillow and blanket for the couch.
Of course Derek was the first thing to pop into my head when I pulled the pillow down from the top of the linen closet. His scent assailed me, that dark, woodsy smell. He was the last one who used the pillow and blanket. I felt a stab of pain as the gash in my heart started bleeding again.
Purposely, I began thinking about Leah and my sister and what to do about my current dilemma. I made up the couch and then went into the kitchen for a soda. Lying on the bar was the sweater that Derek had bought me and a piece of paper was sticking out beneath it.
It read:
Carson,
I’m so sorry that I brought Fahl into your life. Maybe he would’ve found you anyway. I don’t know. I did it for my brother, but now I know some deals aren’t worth the sacrifice.
I didn’t want you to find out this way, but my betrayal was not what you think. It didn’t take me long to figure out that you were special. Very special. I was hoping that by stringing Fahl along, together we could find a way to beat him, a way to free us all. I know how it must look, but I thought that you knew how I felt about you, that I could never hurt you. Not again.
It doesn’t matter now anyway. There’s only one thing I have left to bargain with, one thing I can give away to make things right.
I hope one day you’ll forgive me.
Love,
Derek
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
If I’d thought the pain I’d felt earlier was devastating, it was nothing compared to the excruciating heartbreak that I felt now after reading his words.
Although I knew very little about Fahl and his mysterious deals, I knew that they were extremely expensive. And when Derek said he only had one thing to bargain with, I knew what that one thing was.
An image of him standing in the woods, pointing the way to Leah filled my mind. Now I knew why he was there. He’d given his life to Fahl. For me. Derek was one of the dead.
Love and agony bled from the giant, gaping hole in my heart. He was gone, really gone. He was gone from this world, he’d traded his life, his very soul, for me.
I sat there, chest so tight I couldn’t breathe, certain that I couldn’t stand the pain of it. Thinking he was gone and that I’d never see him again was bad enough, but knowing what he’d sacrificed for me was unthinkable and unbearable.
I crumbled to the kitchen floor, my insides twisting and churning painfully. I felt on the verge of bursting, like my body couldn’t contain the anguish. That’s when the red haze of a blind rage came upon me. There was one entity responsible for almost all my sorrows, on source—Fahl. All my emotional angst focused on him until it suddenly exploded into a bottomless black hole of hatred.
I couldn’t hold the scream inside. It radiated from my throat and my chest and my heart. It roared through every cell of my body like a forest fire, burning away logic and reason.
And then I was on my feet, heading to the car. I drove to the forks, my hands trembling with my efforts to control my powers. They swirled inside me, begging for release, but it wasn’t time. Not yet.
I slid onto the shoulder of the road and slammed the shifter into park and jumped out of the car. I took off at a dead run for the trees, racing through the forest at breakneck speed.
I burst through the laurels and into the clearing, screaming at the top of my lungs, “Fahl! Fahl, come out here! Fahl!” Over and over, I cried his name in every direction, turning circles in the middle of the clearing.
I scanned the tree line looking for him. I saw faces emerge from the deepest shadows to hover around the edges, just beyond the low light of the moon.
And then I saw her. It was the blonde I’d seen in the woods that night with Derek. It was Fahl.
“I knew you’d come,” she purred as she stepped out into the clearing and moved toward me.
The instant she spoke, I felt flames burning on my fingertips. My cheeks grew hot and damp. I heard the trees throughout the forest creak as they bent toward me. I saw leaves rise from their place on the clearing floor and drift into the air, spinning and twirling wildly all around me. I felt the earth shake beneath my feet, the deep rumble a warning that it was about to split wide open. I was on the verge of losing control and everything around me could feel it.
“Everyone has a price,” she said, her voice to me like gasoline on a fire. “I—”
I couldn’t listen to one more syllable, not one more lie, not one more rationalization. My control snapped and I was helpless to prevent it.
“What have you done?” I cried, launching myself at her. I felt the wind on my fiery cheeks as I ran. I heard the pop and whoosh of trees as they burst into flames all around me. The earth opened up in two huge cracks, running alongside me on my left and right, heading for Fahl, threatening to swallow her, to drag her to hell.
And then I was weightless. I was on my back, spinning in the air like I was on a clock face and I was unable to breathe. It was as if all the oxygen had just vanished. My insides started to burn like I’d swallowed acid then the pain slowly made its way to the surface.
My skin felt like it was being peeled off, inch by agonizing inch. Then an intolerable pressure began to build inside my head. My vision blurred and my eyes felt like they were being forced out of their sockets—from the inside.
I gasped and flailed, fighting for a breath and writhing in pain. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t utter a single sound.
In the silence, I heard her cluck her tongue at me and then I was inverted—feet in the air, face down and falling. My body jerked to a halt and I floated in the space in front of her. We were eye to eye. Only it wasn’t a woman anymore, it was a man. It was the Fahl I’d seen the first night in the woods. Even upside down, I could make out his emaciated form and black wispy hair.