“Problem? What makes you think I have a problem?”
“You make it sound like I’m running away from something, when all I’m doing is starting my life.”
“Right. And that’s exactly what you should be doing. The timing is perfect. This is for the best. You need to get on with your plans away from here.”
I sit, looking at his handsome face, while my heart is spewing blood around the wound of his sharp words. He continues, driving the knife in a little deeper. “You need to find a place you can make new friends. Find a job that you love. Find some happiness.”
His words say he wants me to go and find happiness, but something about his attitude belies his well-wishing. In a way, I feel like he’s blaming me for wanting more.
“Why is it that when you say it, it sounds like a bad thing?”
“I have no idea. Must be your imagination.”
“It’s not my imagination, Rusty,” I say, standing to my feet. “Do you blame me for wanting to get a job using the education I spent the last four years getting?”
“Not at all. I knew that’s what you’d do.”
“Again, you make it sound like a bad thing.”
“I’m not making it sound like anything. I’m just saying what we both already knew, Jenna. You’re getting ready to go. It was just a matter of time.”
“Oh, so now I’m a terrible person for not wanting to hang around Greenfield for the rest of my life?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But that’s what you meant.”
“Don’t tell me what I meant,” he bites. “You’re not the kind to settle, Jenna. That’s all I’m saying. You’re the kind who has big plans for a better life. And that doesn’t include this town or the people in it. We both knew that. And it was fun while it lasted. No reason to drag it out.”
That hurts. I told him I love him less than twenty-four hours ago. Although it does seems like an eternity now, Rusty acts like it never happened, like I never had any feelings for him. He makes it sound as though we were a convenient way to pass my time in Greenfield, nothing more. Like we were destined for failure.
“Wow,” I say, trying to keep the hurt from my voice. I dig deep for a little bit of pride to help me get out of this without making things worse than they already are. “You’ve got me all figured out then, don’t you, Rusty?”
“It is what it is, Jenna.”
“I guess I won’t be bothering you anymore then.” Head held high, I stride across the room toward the door. I make each step as long as I can, giving Rusty every chance to stop me. To tell me I’m wrong. To ask me to stay.
But he doesn’t. When he speaks, it’s just to tell me goodbye.
“I wish you well, Jenna,” Rusty says softly as I pull the curtain back. I don’t turn around when I answer.
“Thanks, Rusty. You, too.”
When I let the curtain fall behind me, I do run this time. I run until I’m in an empty floor in an empty elevator, holding a handful of tears.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Rusty
There’s absolutely no doubt I have qualms about the last words Jenna and I said to each other. Unfortunately, she did as I asked and she stayed away. Not only has it been lonely and boring, but I’ve got too much time on my hands to think about her.
I teeter between regret and bitterness. On the one hand, I feel like I pushed her away. Maybe she would’ve proved me right and gone anyway. But maybe, just maybe, she’d have proved me wrong and she’d have hung around. If I hadn’t practically pushed her out the door, that is.
But after dwelling on that for a little while, bitterness rushes in. Even if Jenna had stayed longer, it wouldn’t have been permanent. And I’m nobody’s charity case. I don’t want her hanging around here because she feels sorry for me. Oh, hell no!
Needless to say, I’m pretty much a bear by the time Trick and Cami get home from their honeymoon and come to see me.
“Got a regular room now, huh, haus? I heard you spent some time in the ICU,” Trick says as he strides in, Cami’s hand tucked firmly in his. They’re both tan and glowing. And not just the skin kind of glowing. It’s the kind that radiates from somewhere deeper, the kind that comes from being happy all the way down to your soul.
“Good God, it’s about time!” I say. “I’m surprised there’s anything left of her. How long has it been?”
Trick laughs. Cami blushes. “Just two weeks, you dick. What the hell’s the matter with you?”
“Other than the obvious?” I ask.
“Yes, smart ass. Other than the obvious.”
“I’m in here. Isn’t that enough?”
“I figured you’d be milking this and getting three sponge baths a day from Jenna,” he teases.
“Not hardly.”
Trick gives me an exasperated sigh. “All right, what’d you say to her? This has to be your fault. Otherwise, Jenna would probably be here right now, soaping up her sponge.”
“You mean you haven’t talked to her since you got back?”
“I haven’t.”
We both look at Cami. Her eyes get wide and her expression turns to that of a cornered animal. “What? We literally just drove in from the airport. I haven’t seen anybody yet.”
“Haven’t seen, but have you talked to anybody?” Trick asks.
Cami’s mouth opens a couple of times like she wants to say something, but finally she closes it and sighs. “Yes.”
“Jenna?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And, she asked if we’d been by yet. I told her we hadn’t.”
“That’s it?”
“Pretty much.” Cami looks from me to Trick and back again. She rocks back on her heels and drops Trick’s hand to smack her own together. “So, where’s the vending machine? I need to get a bottle of water or something. I’m thirsty.”
Likely story, I think. But I don’t say that. “I walked by some yesterday when they let me out of bed to do PT. Down the hall and to the left.”
“They already let you out of bed?” Trick asks after Cami leaves.
“Hell yeah, they did! I almost kissed the poor guy that was my nurse yesterday when he told me. Before that, my arm was in traction. I couldn’t even take a piss without it being a big production.”
“How’d you do when you finally got to get up?”