“Having fun and being free doesn’t mean you have to do stupid shit that could get you hurt, Sloane.”
“Doesn’t it? Isn’t that the nature of risk? Doing something despite the fact that you might get hurt?”
“On a smaller scale, yes. But this is your life. This isn’t having a drink to stick it to your brothers or getting a tattoo to prove a point.”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? Rebelling? Proving a point?”
Her level of upset is disproportionate to what I’m trying to say, but I don’t know how to say it any differently.
I sigh, reaching out to rub my hands up and down Sloane’s upper arms, loving the way it feels like silk against my palms. “Look, this is not how I pictured this conversation going. You said you wanted my truth, well this is it. I’m not trying to control you. Or boss you. I was just worried. That’s all. I just have a piss-poor way of explaining that.”
I see her expression soften. “I love that you’re concerned about me,” she says, taking a step closer to me. “I love it a lot.” Color blooms in her cheeks and a smile flirts with the corners of her mouth. But when she continues, her eyes are earnest. “But you have to trust that I know what I’m doing. And that I’m old enough and smart enough to do it. I had Sarah with me. Sig had just left the house a few minutes before I got there. Cops have been in and out of there all day. I didn’t feel like, all things considered, it would be too dangerous to run upstairs, in broad daylight, and grab a few things before I went to Sarah’s for a while. But I also didn’t feel like I needed to explain that to anybody either.”
Now I feel like an ass. “I’m sorry I snapped. I should’ve given you the benefit of the doubt. I was…I was just concerned.”
She nods, taking yet another step closer to me. “So you want me to stay with you then?”
“Of course I want you to stay with me. I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t.”
“Are you sure about that? I mean, it’s the nice thing to do.”
I arch one brow at her. “Sloane, I’ve told you before that I’m selfish. This is me being selfish. I’m not trying to stay away from you anymore.”
This is as much news to me as it is to her. Being done with the fight, with the pretense and just putting it out there. I don’t know when I decided to flip guilt the bird. Probably when I realized I could have Sloane in my house, in my bed, all to myself if I play this the right way. Yet another opportunity I can’t pass up. I refuse to look more deeply into it than that.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Then, by all means, be selfish,” she says, grinning up at me.
“You shouldn’t look so pleased. Your virtue could be in peril.”
“Even better.”
I ignore the way my dick jumps just thinking of where this conversation is going and how, now, I can do something about it. “Speaking of selfish, why didn’t you wake me up when you left this morning?”
Sloane’s lashes flutter down to hide her eyes and I feel her stiffen against me.
“Why would I do that? You were kind enough to let me stay, to watch over me all night. I didn’t want to…I mean…” She trails off and I see her tongue sneak out to wet her lips. A nervous gesture. Finally, she lifts her eyes to mine again. “Look, Hemi, I remember the whole conversation about breakfast. I know how you feel about it, about women…staying. I just…I just didn’t want to make you feel like I expected anything. That’s all.”
I do like a woman who knows when to leave. I’ve always liked that. No attachments. No obligations. Just two consenting adults. And when it’s over, we go our separate ways. Until next time. If there is a next time. But then why was I ticked off when I found a note in the kitchen this morning? Why was I so pissed when I realized that Sloane had left without so much as a word?
“This is different. You don’t need to worry about that. This is…this is just different,” I repeat, unable to explain it any further than that.
Sloane nods and murmurs softly, “Okay.”
A tense silence falls between us, one that I feel the need to eradicate. “So, did you eat?”
“Yeah, Sarah and I had take-out.”
I nod, crossing that option off the list. I don’t know why I suddenly feel the need to pamper Sloane, to show her that she’s not just another girl that I want to bang and then shower away while she walks out the door. I want to be with her. I want to watch her when she tastes new things, feels new things. I want to watch her eyes open first thing in the morning. And, admittedly, I want to watch them close when I bury my dick in her. And now I have the perfect opportunity to do all those things. To get her out of my system before she finds out too much and learns to hate me.
“I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we blow off this place tonight and hit a club or something? Let you get rid of some tension? I think you’ve earned a…release.”
Her smile is wide and her eyes take on an instant sparkle. “That sounds great. But can you do that? I mean, won’t the owner…”
“It’s just one night. And we’ve got plenty of people here tonight. I had planned to work with you some more on our tattoos, but we can do that another night.”
Sloane glances down at what she’s wearing. “I didn’t really bring anything to wear for something like that.”
“That’ll be fine,” I say, taking in her tiny black shorts and white top that sits off one shoulder. “Trust me, you could wear a paper bag and be the hottest girl at most of these places.”
I love how her cheeks get all pink and round when I say things like that to her. It’s the truth, of course, but I probably wouldn’t tell her what I’m thinking as often if she didn’t react this way.
Or maybe I would.
“If you think it’ll be okay…”
“You’ll be fine. I know the owner of the place we’re going. You’ll fit right in.”
********
Less than an hour later, I’m leading Sloane through the doors of a club in down town. It’s called “Aphrodisiac” and most everything within the four exterior walls is geared toward titillation. And I’d be willing to bet a shitload of money that Sloane has never stepped foot in a place like this before. Hell, I’m not even sure she’s wanted to. But she’s here. And tonight is all about her feeling pleasure rather than stress, about her letting go rather than holding on.