I see the change in her eyes. I see them get smoky with heat, heat from the things I’m saying to her, things I’m thinking about. Things I should be keeping to myself. Especially when I’m going to be spending the night with her.
“Hemi, I—”
I cut her off before she can finish her sentence. I shouldn’t have started us down this road. And now I’m desperate to change the trajectory.
“Are you sure you want to be here? I mean, your father did almost get shot up tonight. It wasn’t my intention to take you away from your family if you felt you needed to be there with them.”
I see the change again, this time to worry. And awareness. And regret. And guilt. I’m an ass**le. A selfish ass**le who needs to clear his conscience. To save her from one disaster, I hit her in the face with unfair and unwarranted guilt. That’s a pretty shitty thing to do. But evidently, I’m a pretty shitty guy.
“I…I never thought of it like that. I mean, I knew they would all just want to know I’m safe, but…oh God, what if something happens during the night?” I see the fear ease into panic. “What if Scout never made it back? Oh my God, what if those people come back? To finish what they started?”
Her big, liquid eyes, round with worry, rise to mine. She’s asking me for comfort. And reassurance. From the concern that I alone just brought to her and laid at her feet. And now, as perverse as it sounds, I feel compelled to give it to her. To erase that unsettled look of fear that’s marring her beautiful face.
“Only cowards pull a stunt like the one that happened tonight. And cowards don’t come back right away. Not when their targets are on the lookout. Prepared. And you’re right. Your father and your brothers would want you to be safe, first and foremost. Without having to worry about you, they can focus on the task at hand, put all their attention where it needs to be.”
Sloane slowly starts to nod her head. Then she closes her eyes, no doubt against the horrific images I put there, images of her family bleeding to death from gunshot wounds as they sit on the couches and lie in their beds at her house.
Yeah, I’m definitely a shitty guy.
“Come on. You can call them and see what’s going on. And tonight, you’ll be safe. You’ll be safe here. With me. As long as you need to be.”
As I start through the house, Sloane following along behind me, I barely hear her question. “Hemi, what about Sasha?”
I stop, turning to frown down at her. “What about Sasha?”
She shrugs. “Well, I know you said it was nothing now, but it used to be, and I just wondered if she knows that. I mean, why is she back?”
I step closer to Sloane, moving her hair away from one side of her face. “She ran into some money troubles back home. She’s just working at the shop until she can get back on her feet. That’s it. Nothing more. And yes, she knows that, too. Sasha has nothing to do with…anything.”
I can see the relief on her face. I wonder how long she’s been chewing on that, worrying it over and over in her head. If I had to guess, I’d say for quite a while. For her to consider it now, tonight, with everything else that has happened…
She nods and smiles, and I know she feels better, so I turn to continue on up the stairs.
I show Sloane to the largest of the four guest rooms. It’s not a huge house, nothing compared to what I’m used to, but it’s a lot bigger than hers. I’m not surprised that she’s impressed.
“Wow! This is, like, three times bigger than my room at home.”
I set her bag on the chaise at the end of the king sized bed. “I hope you’ll be comfortable here then. I want you to make yourself at home. Anything in the house—the pool, the hot tub, the sauna, the gym, the kitchen—whatever you need, is yours.”
“Thank you for bringing me here, Hemi. I really appreciate it. And you not…not…”
“Not what? Taking your things to my room?” I see her cheeks pinken and I know I’m right on the money. “Sloane, this is a tough time for you. I would never presume that you’d want to spend your night with me.” I see her swallow uncomfortably, which makes me want to put her at ease. “That’s not to say that I couldn’t work a little magic on you, make you want to spend the night with me.” I grin at her and she grins back. “But that would be highly inappropriate. So, tonight, hands off.” I raise my hands to punctuate what I’m saying.
Sloane walks to the bed and trails her fingers along the luxurious white duvet. “Does that mean you might consider staying in here with me for a while?” she asks in a tiny voice. “I just…I just don’t want to be alone yet.”
“Of course,” I say, moving to her side. I run my hand down her back until she turns toward me, tilting her face up to mine. “I’ll stay until you fall asleep. How’s that?”
I can see by her faltering smile that she wishes I’d offered more, but that she’s happy with what she got. I warned her…
“Sounds good. As long as it doesn’t put you out.”
“Holding a hot woman in my arms? Ummm, no. It won’t put me out.” I bend to brush my lips across hers. “It’s late. Why don’t you do what you need to do to get ready for bed? And I’ll be right back.”
She nods again and unzips her bag. I’m not at all surprised when, within a few seconds of my departure, I hear her on the telephone, no doubt checking in with her father. While Sloane might want to have a little freedom and spread her wings, she’s obviously close to her family. And it would break her heart if something happened to one of them. Even if one is a rat-bastard, dirty cop.
So where the hell does that leave me?
I go through the house, checking all the doors, downing a quick beer, waiting for Sloane to get ready, giving her room to breathe. When I make my way back upstairs, I’m well aware of the nearly-painful hard-on that’s straining at my zipper. Inappropriate or not, if she pushes me very much tonight, I’ll take what I want with no regrets.
It’s with no small amount of disappointment that I walk into Sloane’s bedroom to find her sound asleep, curled on her side under the covers.
I snap off the lights and start to back out of the room. Sloane makes a noise. It’s nothing intelligible, like a word or a name; it’s just a noise. I walk back to stand beside the bed, looking down at her. I see the space between her body and the edge of the bed. I might never know what the hell would possess me to kick off my shoes, slide under the covers and stretch out beside her, but that’s exactly what I do.