As I stare into her eyes, eyes that seek no pity, I know for a fact that one of the first things I’ll do when I move in to Bellano, just a few hundred yards away, is to burn down the groundskeeper’s cottage. Right after I give our daughter the kind of grave site she deserves.
For Kennedy’s sake, I push back my anger in favor of something more constructive. I raise my hands to stroke her cheeks, soft as silk and twice as fine. “You are the strongest, most beautiful creature I’ve ever known. Every day you amaze me in some new way.”
She shrugs, but her cheeks pinken with my compliment. “Life either crushes us or polishes us. I’m just glad that we both held up under the pressure, that we made it to here. To now. I wouldn’t trade a million happy childhoods for ending up here with you. I have regrets and heartaches just like everybody else, but I can’t let them define me. I choose to leave them in the past where they belong and only bring along the good things that matter. Like you. Our summer. The baby we made. Those are the only things worth saving.”
“And you. You were worth saving. Then. Now. Forever.”
I love the sound of that when I’m talking to Kennedy—forever.
It’s time to focus on that, to put the deeds of my father and the ways that he influenced us behind me forever. Some things are unforgiveable. There’s no point in wasting any more of my life trying to find a redeeming quality in my dad. It’s time to move on, move on to the kind of life that I want for myself. One with Kennedy. With Kennedy and our happiness and our children.
And one without Henslow Spencer.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR - Kennedy
I watch the familiar landscape whiz by. Reese is taking me to Bellano for the arrival of the furniture he ordered. He asked me to help him pick it out, and I know he wants me to live there with him, but today he seems particularly excited to make the short trip.
The furniture truck is already there when we arrive. Tanny is bundled in a thick sweater to keep her warm against the cold winter air that’s gushing through the wide-open front doors as the movers haul in heavy bed frames and sturdy dressers.
I give her a hug and a kiss as I pass. Reese does the same. As always, Tanny strokes his cheek and smiles into his eyes. “My two favorite people,” she says, turning her twinkling blue eyes to me.
“Is it ready?” he asks.
Her smile is angelic and happier than I think I’ve ever seen it. “It is.”
“Is what ready?” I ask.
They look at each other and smile, but neither answers me. Reese simply takes my hand and says, “Come on. I’ll show you.”
We walk down the hall, discussing the new additions of art and rugs and knick knacks here and there. Reese didn’t want to get rid of his uncle’s things, so much as rearrange them or add to them. We both love all the antiques and history-rich pieces in the house. We both grew up seeing them and feeling like this was our “true” home, so neither of us wanted to change much.
It’s when we get to the room that has always been Tanny’s that Reese stops just outside the door.
“I ordered a few extra things for this room,” he says, his lips hinting at a smile.
“For Tanny’s room?”
“Errr, not really. Tanny is taking one of the big suites in the other wing.”
“Then what’s going in here?” I ask.
“Why don’t you go see for yourself?” I see satisfied mischief in his eyes and it makes my stomach twitter in anticipation.
I push open the door and I can’t stop the gasp that bubbles up in my throat any more than I can stop the wash of tears that fills my eyes.
Before me, Tanny’s room is nowhere to be found. This room looks like it’s ready for the arrival of a baby. The walls are painted a cheery yellow and the floors have been re-stained to look like warm honey. There are fluffy white rugs scattered about and a white crib sits at the bay window, flanked by two brand-new, padded rocking chairs.
“It’s a nursery,” I whisper, my heart fluttering in my chest. “Oh, Reese,” I exclaim, turning into his always-waiting, open arms. He curls them around me, tucking me warmly and safely against his wide chest. “Just when I think I can’t be any happier…”
“You might as well expect things like this. As long as I’m alive, I’ll always want to make you happier.”
“The only thing that could make this more perfect would be having some family here to share it with. I hate that Malcolm couldn’t see this.”
“I do, too. He would’ve approved one hundred percent. But at least we still have Tanny.”
I turn shining eyes up to his. “I bet she was giddy with excitement, wasn’t she?”
Reese grins. “Yeah, she was pretty damn happy.”
“Why don’t you go get her?”
I walk around the room, ooo-ing and ahh-ing over all the tiny details until Reese returns with Tanny. She stands in the doorway with shining eyes and looks around what used to be her room.
“Think you’ll mind having a little one around here, Tanny?”
“I can’t think of one single thing I’d love more.”
“I was just telling Reese that everything is perfect. Just perfect. And we get to share it with you.”
Tanny covers her trembling lips with one hand as she struggles to compose herself. After a few moments, she pulls something from behind her back. It’s a wooden box, about the size of a shoe box, covered with beautiful carvings.
“This is for you,” she says, handing it to me. “And for you, Harrison.”
I raise the heavy lid and there, lying in the pale pink velvet interior, are the birth records for Mary Elizabeth that Hank had told me were lost. I take out the white paper with her tiny foot print on it and I stroke it, my thumb so large beside it, even through my blurry vision.
“Where did you find these?”
“After Hank died, I cleaned out the groundskeeper’s cottage and found them hidden under a loose board in the floor.”
I don’t try to stop the tears that spill down my cheeks. “I named her after the only people that I’ve ever cared about. Mary for Malcolm’s wife. He loved her so much. Elizabeth for you. You were like the mother that I never had. And Spencer. Because…she was. She’ll always be.”
Reese walks around behind me and wraps his arms across my chest, setting his chin on top of my head. Just showing me his love and support, letting me feel his presence.
“I’m sorry I never told you, Tanny.”