“Wrap your hands around my throat,” I whisper. “I want to feel it when you come. I want to feel your fingers tighten then relax. I want to feel you lose control.”
I chose the words on purpose. I know they will trigger some kind of response. What kind of response is the question.
I just hope it works.
It’s my Hail Mary.
Alec’s eyes meet mine. In them is desire, anger, confusion and, yes, now a little bit of fear. Before he can think too much, I reach down and take his hands, guiding them up toward my neck.
“I trust you, Alec. I trust you not to hurt me, no matter how wild you feel. You’re not that person. Not anymore. Now do it. I want to feel you lose it. I want to feel it in your fingertips when you come. All for me. Just for me.”
I pump my hips against his, clawing at the backs of his hands. There’s a moment of hesitation just before his baser instincts take over. And I feel his fingers tighten.
At first, it’s tentative, but as he thrusts more deeply into me, they become more confident. And they tighten more.
I feel other fingers grip me. Fingers of fear. I’m no longer certain of what I’ve done, that trusting Alec, that baiting him in this way was wise. It was impulsive and desperate.
And it might cost us both.
As breathing becomes more difficult, I stretch my chin toward the head of the bed, an attempt to relieve some of the pressure to my throat. I’m teetering between the intense pleasure of Alec’s body within mine and the sheer terror of what I might’ve asked him to do.
I look back at Alec and see his eyes close. He increases his tempo, and so my fear. I wrap my fingers around his wrist, ready to pull at them if he really loses it.
I hear his cry.
It’s scary and thrilling. And then I feel him stiffen. His fingers squeeze at my throat, stealing my breath for a moment before he opens his eyes and he looks straight into mine.
I see him let go. And I see him let it go. There’s nothing between us in this moment except scorching heat and love. As long as Alec lives, he may deny it to himself, but I will always know. I will always have these few seconds, this look in his eyes, this stillness of his body, forever. It’s mine. And nothing can ever take it away.
I feel the moment his senses begin to return. His fingers relax and he withdraws and thrusts into me again, grinding his hips as he goes, pushing me toward a pinnacle I thought fear would keep me from.
He showers my face with kisses and thrusts again, and again, his body still hard within mine, his come still filling me up inside. And I lose it.
Alec cups my face and watches me as I tip over the edge. From start to finish, his eyes never leave mine while I orgasm. Intense wave after intense wave, he continues to stare into my eyes, sharing with me his body, his soul and his heart.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX - Alec
Samantha and I are lying together, catching our breath, when I begin to feel pressure to say something. The problem is that I don’t know what to say. I feel like I should say something, like I should have something to say. But I don’t.
With every passing minute, she becomes more anxious. I can feel it in the way she’s stiffening beneath me.
Expectation is a bitch!
I roll off her and shoot a lopsided smile her way, hoping it will put her mind at ease. “I guess we’d better get out of here. This isn’t exactly the best place to snuggle.”
Her smile is a bit forced, confirming what I already knew. I give her my hand and pull her into a sitting position. My eyes rove her bared br**sts. She looks down at herself.
“Well,” she begins, glancing up at my open shirt. “I would say you’re in better shape than I am, but I’m not so sure.”
I laugh as I take in my own buttonless shirt. “Eh, we’ll figure out something,” I say casually before leaning over to nip her shoulder with my teeth. “We might draw a few eyes, but damn, it was worth it.”
I stand to my feet and straighten my tie, doing my best to tuck in my shirt in such a way that it will stay closed. That’s harder than it might sound.
Samantha seems less bothered now. Maybe it was just my imagination.
She stands and pulls the two halves of her dress together. There’s no way she can make that work. She looks up at me and we both laugh.
“You don’t do that enough,” she says as she lets the dress fall from her shoulders and puts it back on backward.
“Do what?”
“Laugh.”
I shrug. “I don’t usually have much to laugh about.”
“That’s a tragedy, you know.”
I shrug again, but make no further comment.
I pat my tie into place, right down the center of my chest. It will be fine to conceal my state of dishabille until I can get to the car. Then it won’t matter.
I glance up to see Samantha staring down at herself. Seeing the high neck of the back of her dress at her throat looks a bit odd, but she could pull it off for the short trip downstairs. That is, until she turns around. Her entire ass is hanging out. She grins at me from over her shoulder and it makes me want to throw her on the bed, let that dress fall apart and pound into her from behind.
“I’m thinking I might be in trouble,” she confesses playfully.
I walk to grab my coat from the floor where I tossed it. “Here,” I say, holding the suit jacket open so she can slip her arms into it. It’s long enough on her to come almost to her knees, plenty to cover her bare back side. “Better?”
“Much.”
I walk to the door and open it, sweeping my arm gallantly in front of me. “After you, m’lady.”
She smiles and precedes me out the door. I’m hoping if I keep things light…well, I can keep things light. I don’t do heavy. I just…don’t.
After we successfully (and tactfully) navigate the lower level, I walk Samantha to her car. I bend her over the hood and kiss her like we’re not in public, in hopes it will allay her fears or satisfy her expectations until I can figure out what the hell I’m doing.
“Call you tomorrow?” I say when I release her.
She nods and smiles, but I can tell it’s not what she was hoping for. I kiss the back of her hand and open her door for her, waiting for her to start the engine before heading to my own ride. I feel like I narrowly escaped…something dreadful. But I didn’t. Not really. I’ve simply delayed it until the tomorrow. I’ll have to deal with it sooner or later. I’m just opting for the “later.”
A little more than twenty minutes later, I’m unlocking my front door and stepping into the foyer. My intentions are to change clothes, make myself a drink and sit in front of the fireplace and forget the world. Just enjoy the amazing feeling of the night.