“I’m not going anywhere. We’ll meet every Tuesday, an hour before school.”
“Whate=". W if I don’t want this?” I ask, not sure if the question is for her or for me.
“What if you do?” She turns it around.
What if I do? What if she’s right? What if there’s another way to reach my dreams while still being realistic?
“Maybe I want to try.” I test out the words—part of me cringes and another part becomes lighter. I have no idea which side is wrong and which side will eventually be proven right.
“Then let me help.”
The papers crackle under my grip. I’m a moron. I’m stupid. This is the worst mistake ever... “Okay.”
25
Jonah
Stella wasn’t in American Lit and my blood pulses with nervous anticipation as I wait for her in the cafeteria. I’m at my regular table and so is everyone else, except Cooper is sitting at the other end. The guys try to talk sports, but they sense the change. It’s in the air...it’s everywhere.
I glance at the clock. Two more minutes and I’m checking the library. Stella can’t avoid me forever.
The door from the main hallway opens and Stella enters the cafeteria. She’s completely focused on a booklet in her hand and she holds far more papers than I’ve ever seen her with. It takes me a second to register this difference, as she always comes in absorbed by a paperback, like clockwork, but not today and that’s good. It’ll go along with everything I have to say.
I walk in her direction and Stella sinks into a chair at an empty table near the back, still reading.
“You left before we were done talking.”
Stella jerks and then blinks like she doesn’t believe I’m there. “Jonah—”
“No, you’re not going to talk your way out of this. Today, you’re going to listen to me.”
She rests the paper on the table, keeping her eyes locked on me.
Okay. That went a lot easier than I thought it would. I take a deep breath and dive out of my comfort zone. I put one foot on the empty chair beside her then haul myself onto the table. Stella jumps up and hisses, “What are you doing? Get down.”
“No.”
Her neck swivels like a bobble head, and she definitely notices how the entire cafeteria grinds to a standstill. “Seriously, get down. Have you lost your mind?”
“Probably.” I stop to consider “No. I’ve never seen things so clearly.”
“Get down!”
“I’m not ready yet.” And I hold my hand out to her.
The color drains from her face. “What?”
I wiggle my fingers. “Come here.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“By not cooperating you’re only making this take longer.”
“Jonah!” Her frustration is clear.
“Stella!” I mimic in return.
She crosses her hands over her chest. “Not happening.”
“Fine. Then I’ll speak louder.” Not giving her a chance to bolt, I continue, “Last night you said I e’lt happeniproved to you that it was possible to change. Well, I have, but what you forgot to add was that you changed too. It’s not one in a million, Stella. It’s two in a million and it’s you and me. In other words...I’m not giving up on us.”
Stella glances around and I can hear her internal wish that everyone would stop staring, but we both know that won’t happen. Being the center of attention, it’s one of her fears, but Stella’s become my whole world and I want everyone to know...including her.
She touches her barrette to comfort herself. “I know.”
I pop my mouth open, ready for the next part of my speech, then pause. “What?”
She looks around again. A few teachers and security guards stand on the periphery of the lunchroom, but no one comes close. Someone starts to talk on the other side of the cafeteria and someone else shushes them.
“I know,” she repeats. “I met with Mrs. Collins today and, well...look, I don’t know what’s going to happen and it’s going to be hard, but maybe...” She shrugs and her face turns red. “If you can change, maybe I can too.”
I run through her words twice to make sure I heard her correctly. “So we’re together?”
The right side of her mouth tilts up and she lifts her eyebrows. I can’t help the goofy smile on my face. We’re together.
I hop off the table and lift Stella into my arms, her feet swinging off the ground. She weaves her arms around my shoulders and my body relaxes when she kisses the side of my neck. A few people clap, a few girls say “aww,” but all I focus on are the words Stella whispers to me. “I’m in this, Jonah.”
I lower her to the ground, take her face in my hands, and kiss those soft lips. “I’m in this, too.”
A teacher clears his throat and we both take an embarrassed step back, but she laces her hand with mine. Stella eases me into a seat at her table and her eyes shine as she begins to talk about her future...our future...
“I think I’m going to try college,” she says.
I scoot my chair closer to hers. “I think that sounds like a fantastic idea.”
It does, and for the first time since the accident, I’m living my life knowing that I’m doing it right.