“I cheat.”
“I highly doubt that.”
I throw my arms out to either side. “What does it matter?”
“Stella, you’re college material. You elected the college prep track when you enrolled here and you’ve stuck with it. Surely the thought of going to college has crossed your mind a few times.”
More than a few, but Joss is right. There’s no such thing as more, and Joss is giving me the best possible opportunity for a future. “I can’t afford it.”
“There are scholarships—”
“But I won’t win,” I cut her off. “And you’re assuming some school will admit me. Look, I’ve been working odd jobs since I was fourteen and before you give me that work-experience-will-look-great-on-a-scholarship-application bull, I’ve worked mostly under the table. Because of that, I haven’t joined one school club or one athletic team or even attended a stinking game. This is the end of the line for me and I’ve got a great shot at a decent job. Don’t screw this up for me because you have a quota to meet.”
“Give the classes you have a month and see if you change your mind.”
I stand so quickly that a few papers fall from her desk. “Are you for real?”
“Listen.” She holds up her palms as if she’s pleading with me for something important, like food. “It’ll take me some time to confirm this job. They’re not on our approved company list to begin with. Let me work on this and while I do, you mull over why you’re making this decision. Don’t abandon going to college without at least trying to see if you can make it work.”
This lady is everything Joss has warned me about. What happens when I hope for more, possibly get into a school, and then figure out there’s no way I can pay for it unless I become an overpriced whore? Know what, if it’ll keep you off my back, you do what you need to do and I’ll do what I need to do. Until then, stay away from me.”
15
Jonah
In the kitchen area behind the lunch line, someone drops enough plates and silverware to wake the dead at the cemetery. It shuts most everyone in the cafeteria up, including the guys at my table. After a few beats, conversation begins again.
Over a plate of chicken strips and tater tots, I watch Stella. She picks at her food today and doesn’t read from one of her paperbacks. Something’s wrong and I crave to know what. She helped me this morning and I want to help her in return. The urge is to push away from the table, cross the room and ask what’s bothering her, but Stella’s made it clear that she expects distance between us at school.
If I’m honest, my life is easier with our relationship on the down low.
Friendship.
Friendship, not a relationship.
But she let me hold her hand in the hallway this morning.
Stella stands, taking her tray with her. She’s never left the cafeteria early before. There’s something majorly wrong. Cooper eyes her and I don’t like it.
“What a freak. Look at her hand—she’s drawing on herself.” He raises his voice. “Try paper!”
Several guys laugh and I glance over at Stella. Sure enough, she’s drawn a rainbow on her hand. It’s like she can’t stop sticking out from the crowd. Stella assesses us out of the corner of her eye and I can’t meet her gaze. She hears the laughter and, what’s worse, she knows I’m with them.
“Cut it out,” I say, but Cooper’s not paying attention to me. He’s nodding his chin to some guy that called his name from across the room.
“Be back.” Then he’s out of his chair.
I scan the cafeteria for Stella, but she’s gone. Hell. She left thinking that I made fun of her. A wave of panic and guilt burns through my veins, but it’s the panic that makes it harder to breathe. Stella’s the only person who helps me through the day—the only person who keeps the nightmares away.
Martha steps into the cafeteria in that blue sundress. She does a sweep of the room and lights up like a firefly when she spots what she’s searching for. I’m not shocked when I follow her line of sight to Cooper. He’s still talking with the guy from the other table. One of these days, this unrequited crush better get old for her because it’s beyond old for me.
I pick up a chicken strip and pause right as I open my mouth. Martha walks in Cooper’s direction, but what’s really pissing me off is that he’s strutting right toward her. In the middle of the cafeteria, they stop less than a foot from each other. She smiles at him like he means something and he gives her that same sly grin that he flashes for every girl he’s trying to play.
My chair cracks back.
“Oh hell,” whispers Todd.
Oh hell, what? I shoot a glare down the table and everyone becomes intensely interested in their trays. “Is he playing my sister?”
No one says anything.
“Wasn’t this the same guy who bragged that he did Missy Parker in the back of his car last weekend? If he’s playing my sister, someone needs to tell me.”
Silence from them all.
“Now!”
“What’s going on?” Cooper slides into the chair across from me. The same damn spot he’s sat in since first grade. Me on one side. Him on the other. The guy I’ve hung with and stood by for as long as I remember.
“Are you playing Martha?”
Cooper laughs, but when he notices no one else has joined him, his forehead wrinkles. “You’re serious?”
“Have I laughed yet?”
Cooper twists the cap off his soda and glances too many times at the other guys at the table. “She’s your sister.”
“Damn right she is.”
He has the balls to look me straight in the eye. “You know me better than that.”
A stray thought advances from the back of my brain. He’s right. I do know him. Better than probably anyone else and I ke en that.”now he doesn’t believe in lines or boundaries. I stand and say, “Stay away from Martha.”
Without waiting for a response, I leave the cafeteria, enter the empty hallway, and wonder where Stella hid herself. The cafeteria door slams open behind me, the roar of voices from the lunchroom rising and falling. I have a strong suspicion of who it is, but I continue walking. If Cooper’s smart, he’ll stay the hell away.
“Jonah!”
Evidently the boy doesn’t possess a brain.
“Jonah!” he yells again.
The tapping of his shoes increases as he runs to catch me and I turn the moment he’s near. “What?”