Kalli blushes, and I steer Mom toward the kitchen before this situation can spiral any more out of control. There’s a swinging door that separates the kitchen from the living room, and it’s still swaying when Mom spins and focuses on me.
“God, Wilder, I can smell the alcohol on you from here.”
And just like that, the high I’d been on since Kalli caught me outside on those steps vanishes, and all the alcohol in my stomach starts to feel like cement.
“I didn’t think you were going to need me tonight.”
Mom sighs, and digs her fingers into the hair at her temples, messing up her smooth ponytail. “I know. I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s just … your sister woke up when the hospital called. And I’m stressed. And I guess I’ve gotten used to the way things have been lately. It’s been a while since you’ve gone out and done …” She trails off and makes a sweeping gesture that encompasses me and then flicks off in the direction of the living room. Kalli’s direction, presumably.
I don’t like how disappointed she sounds. The alcohol, I can live with. But I want her to like Kalli, because I plan on making this one stick around for a while.
Then maybe don’t feel a girl up on your porch like a horny high school kid if you want to impress your mom, asshole.
I sigh and run a hand over my face. With my eyes closed, it hits me just how heavy and tired I feel.
“It’s not what you think it is, Mom,” I finally say. “This wasn’t like the days with the band. I was at a friend’s house. Everything was under control. And Kalli—”
“Yes, please explain who this girl is and how my daughter knows her. Tell me you’re not taking Gwen around random women. I thought you knew better than that.”
“Don’t, Mom.”
“The key word in that sentence is Mom. And because I’m your mother, you can’t tell me not to be concerned with how your behavior affects your sister.”
“You’re acting like she’s some girl I picked up off the street. She’s not. I like her.”
“Well, I’m certainly glad you at least like the girl you molested on my porch.”
God. I’d forgotten how exhausting it could be to have a parent around. I’d moved out right after high school, started doing the music thing. It’s been a while since I had to answer to anyone else for my actions, and it fucking chafes.
I take a deep breath, trying to order my thoughts. Because with this much alcohol in my system, saying the first thing that comes to my mind is not a good idea.
“Gwen and I ran into Kalli one day at the grocery store. Gwen was throwing one of her fits, and Kalli talked her down. Then we ran into her again when I took Gwen dress shopping. One of her friends works at the second hand shop. That’s whose house I was at tonight actually. I know what it looked like out on the porch, but I swear … this is a good thing. You’ll like her. Or I hope you will anyway, because I’m thinking she’s going to be around a lot more.”
Mom looks only slightly appeased by my explanation. “Fine. I trust you. And you’re obviously old enough to make your own decisions. I shouldn’t pry. But please … think about your sister before you do things like this. She’s clearly already attached to this girl, and she’s had enough upheaval in her life lately without you bringing people in and out of her life.”
“I’m not doing that. I swear. This is …” I trail off because my gut wants me to protest and say how serious this is. But then I remind myself that I’ve probably not even spent twenty-four hours with Kalli when you add up all our time together. There’s no way it should feel as serious as it does, especially considering I’ve never been the type to jump into a relationship, and even an hour ago I was convinced I needed to cut myself off from her completely.
“Well, like I said,” Mom continues, “I trust you. Or I’m attempting to anyway. I need to head to the hospital. I don’t mind if she stays for a while, but Wilder … your sister is in the house. And she’s a light sleeper. I hope you’ll be considerate and smart in my absence.”
I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t dying to get my hands on Kalli again, but Mom is right. My mother’s house isn’t the best place for that. Because I have every intention of making my first time with Kalli so fucking memorable that she won’t even think about running.
“Of course, Mom. I promise.”
She purses her lips, and I can tell she’s worried about leaving. I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead. She gives an exaggerated cough and waves a hand in front of her face, reminding me that I reek of alcohol. When our eyes meet again, we both laugh, and I say, “Any chance you already made some coffee?”
She lifts her chin in the direction of the countertop across the room and says, “In the pot.”
I sigh and head that way. I hear the kitchen door swing open, so I assume she has left as I pour myself a mug. I turn to go ask Kalli if she wants one, only to find my mother standing in the open doorway, still staring at me.
“What’s up, Mom?”
She shakes her head, blinking her eyes, as if she wasn’t even aware that she’d been staring. “Nothing. Just … it’s strange how life can change so very drastically, but somehow, underneath, it feels the same.”
I’m still a little too drunk to parse out the meaning behind her words, so I just say, “Love you, Mom. Have a good shift.”
“Sure. Thanks. And let’s have dinner sometime soon. All of us.” She tilts her head back in the direction of the living room, where I can hear Gwen talking a mile a minute through the open door.
That’s a lot. Dinner with the family. Kalli might have said she was in this out on the porch, but that doesn’t mean I should throw her straight into the lion’s den. I nod to appease Mom, and so that she can be on her way. I’ll just postpone until things are more … stable.
I grab my mug, and follow her out. She stops to hug Gwen, but I don’t even think my sister notices. Or at least she doesn’t stop talking. Kalli smiles patiently as she talks, lifting her eyes momentarily to my mother, and I can read the unease in her expression.
Mom grabs her things, says her goodbyes, and heads out the door. Gwen pauses momentarily after the door thuds shut, and in the silent moment, my eyes meet Kalli’s. There’s a softness there that I think is a good sign, but other than that I can’t tell what she’s feeling.