I slide my hand over the nape of his neck, and up into his hair, and he groans into my mouth. I soak up the sound, overwhelmed with a frantic energy that can only be joy. Supreme, complete, life-altering joy. Every part of me is humming with it—my body as it remembers the shape of his, my mind as he eclipses every other thought, and the indefinable connection as it jumps and pulses between us like it carries a heartbeat of its own.
Fate. Destiny. Whatever it’s called … I’ve never been so grateful for mine. And as I allow myself to admit that Wilder is part of that destiny, I feel a tear coast over my cheek.
“God,” he murmurs against my mouth. “Kissing you is even better than I remember.”
I laugh, positively giddy at his words. “Could be the alcohol.”
“No, it’s you. There’s something about you. About us together …” he groans. “I don’t have the words, and I hate that. I hate that I can’t tell you exactly how beautiful you are or how good you feel because everything feels pale in comparison to the reality. If there are words that do it justice, I don’t know them. But I swear I’ll learn them, invent them if I have to.”
I breathe in, and he pulls me closer. “Maybe we don’t need the words. Maybe it’s enough that we both know.”
“Do we? You feel it, too?” His voice is ragged and raw, and the intensity in his eyes makes me shiver.
“I feel it.”
With a growl, he claims my mouth again, pulling me in so tight that he lifts me up onto my toes. I bury my other hand in his hair, too, holding tight to him and this moment and a future that I’m suddenly terrified to lose. Wanting to be closer, needing to feel more of him, I wrap my legs around his waist. He slides one arm down from my waist to my bottom to brace me, and just as he leans me back into the front door, a brighter light washes over us from behind. A creaking noise tells me that the regular door behind the outer glass one has just opened. We’re both reluctant to break the kiss, to end this moment, but when we do, I glance over my shoulder to see a middle-aged woman in scrubs. She’s pretty and has Wilder’s light hair and expressive eyes. With one hand on her hip, her eyes skim me briefly before settling on Wilder with a frown.
My head is still wrapped up in the chaotic excitement of giving in to our attraction, so it takes me a few seconds to remember than my legs are wrapped around his waist, and I immediately let them fall. He keeps his arm bracketed around my waist until my feet are back on the ground, and then he pulls away. His hand goes to the nape of his neck, and he gives a tentative smile.
“Hey Mom. I was just about to come inside.” She makes a noise that sounds distinctly disbelieving and raises her eyebrows in response.
This can’t be happening. I cannot meet his mother like this.
“This is Kalli. I’d had a few drinks so she gave me a ride home.”
My eyes get stuck on a smudged handprint Wilder left on the glass, and I see her eyes track there too. Oh gods. It just keeps getting worse.
“Well.” I clear my throat. “I should probably get going. It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.”
She smiles, and though it looks a little stiff, it seems genuine. “Nice to meet you, too.”
Wilder grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together. “Don’t leave yet. Stay.”
My eyes widen, and my cheeks flush. He can’t possibly think it’s a good idea to bring me inside after that. Before I can devise an answer that will please him and prevent his mother from hating me, a high-pitched squeal distracts us all.
Gwen appears at her mother’s side, two small hands pressing onto the glass door a few feet below the mark that Wilder and I left.
“Kalli! You’re here. I asked Santa for you to come to Christmas, and you’re here!”
“Well,” Wilder’s mother says, her expression unreadable. “It seems I’m the last to meet you, Kalli. Come on inside before I have a mutiny on my hands.”
“Really, I don’t want to intrude.”
“Nonsense, Wilder could probably use some help getting Gwen settled down and back to sleep once I’m gone. She can be a handful.” She says this with an almost vindictively sweet smile, and I can imagine that she thinks a few hours with a five-year-old will act as a deterrent to what she saw when she opened the door.
But all I can think about is that first day in the grocery store, how jealous I’d been of Wilder and his relationship with Gwen. And I know I’m not just in danger of falling for him, but falling for all of it.
Him. His family. His life.
This is what it’s like to crave something. To get addicted from one tiny taste.
Chapter Sixteen
Wilder
Probably not the brightest move, asking Kalli to stay after Mom caught me practically dry humping her against the front door. Okay, so there was no practically about it. But then again, I hadn’t made a lot of bright moves tonight period.
Funny, though, how I don’t regret any of them.
I open the door, and Gwen tumbles forward in her eagerness. I barely manage to throw out a hand and catch her before she falls over the threshold and onto the concrete porch.
“Easy, girl. Why don’t you just step back so Kalli and I can come inside?”
She does, bouncing on her toes like it’s broad daylight instead of the middle of the night. I wonder if she’s just woken up or if she’s been awake for a while. I start to ask Mom as I usher Kalli inside with a hand at her back, but the look she’s wearing silences me.
I expected the awkwardness. It doesn’t matter how old you get, it’s still weird to make out with someone anywhere near your parents, let alone with them watching. I’m surprised by how upset she seems, angry even. She’s quick to hide it when Kalli looks back at me over her shoulder.
“I really need to get going,” Mom says. “But can I speak to you first? In the kitchen?”
Shit. That can’t be good.
“Uh, sure. Kalli, you mind watching Gwen?”
She gives me a smile so sweet, so brilliant that I actually lose my train of thought. It just snaps and flies away into the void, and I’m left staring until my mother says, “Wilder? Kitchen.”
“Right.” I look back once more because I can’t help it and say, “Gwen, don’t maul Kalli too much. Or she might not come back.”
“What’s maul?” Gwen asks.
Mom mumbles, “Something your brother is a little too familiar with this evening.”