I rolled my eyes and turned to walk into the house. I pulled out the little rolling walker, and Ells put Grace in it. Grace took off and started going around the kitchen island.
“Gesh. I take it she likes that thing?” Ellie let out a giggle.
Luke came walking in with his cars and started setting up shop under the kitchen table. He knew to stay away from the threat of a speeding walker.
“Okay, so we have a problem,” I said as I grabbed a Diet Coke for Ellie and a water bottle for me.
“With what? The bachelorette party?”
I nodded my head. “Yep, Jessie is being a pain in my goddamn ass.”
Ellie smiled slightly. “What’s she doing?”
“She doesn’t want a stripper, and she won’t stop threatening me. She said that if one is there, she wouldn’t go tonight!”
Ellie choked on her Diet Coke.
“Huh…Jessie had the same reaction you just did, Ells.”
Ellie looked shocked. “A stripper? Oh my god, Ari! Don’t you think we’re all past that? I mean, we all have kids now. We can’t do that stuff anymore! Amanda just had Taylor, for god’s sake, Ari.”
I rolled my eyes at her again and put my hands on my hips. “Would you just pull your granny panties back up, you pussy?”
Ellie dropped her mouth open. “I don’t wear granny panties, you bitch.”
I raised my eyebrow up at her. “Really? Prove it.”
“What?”
“Pull your pants down. I want to see what type of undies you have on.”
Ellie’s mouth dropped open, and she shook her head. “Are you insane? I’m not pulling my pants down to show you what kind of panties I’m wearing.”
I turned and walked toward the pantry to get Luke and Grace a snack. “Because you got granny panties on.”
Ellie stood up and stomped her feet. “I do not!”
I tried like hell to hold my laughter in.
“Fine, you bitch. You want to know what kind of underwear I have on?” She began unbuckling her belt and then her pants.
The next thing I knew, she turned around and pulled down her jeans to expose her very nice pink lace cheekini panties.
She looked back at me and said, “Happy?”
“Nice…very nice, sweets,” I said with a chuckle.
“What in the hell are you two doing?”
I quickly looked up to see Josh and Heather standing there, each holding one of the twins. Heather was trying to hold in her laughter, and Josh was standing there, waiting for his question to be answered.
Ellie jumped and pulled up her pants as she called me every name under the sun.
“Really, Ells! The kids’ innocent ears don’t want to hear your filth,” I said with a wink.
“You are too much, do you know that? You got me to do that.” Ellie pointed to me, and then she turned to Josh and Heather. “She was accusing me of wearing granny panties.”
Josh let out a laugh. “And you wanted to prove to her that she was wrong? Why?” he asked, stressing wrong and why.
Ellie grabbed her Diet Coke and took a quick drink. “It doesn’t matter,” she said as she sat down on the bar stool with a thud.
I couldn’t help it at that point. I lost it and started laughing my ass off. Luke jumped up and started laughing, too.
“Luke, you don’t even know why you’re laughing, bud,” Ellie said with a smile.
“Mommy is laughing!”
Good enough reason for me.
“Well, hell, girls, I’d love to stand here and talk about your granny panties…or lack thereof…but I was supposed to be at Gunner’s place to help with some stuff thirty minutes ago.”
Josh put Will down, and he took off, walking over toward Luke. They both started playing with the cars, and I caught Josh’s smile as he watched them.
He leaned over and kissed Libby and then Heather good-bye. “I don’t think we will be long, baby.”
“Take your time ’cause y’all are watching the kids tonight,” Heather called out over her shoulder.
As soon as Josh shut the door, Heather put Libby down. She also took off walking—a little wobbly but still walking—toward the boys.
“Is Grace walking yet?” Heather asked.
“She took three steps last night and fell on her ass. She must have cried for a solid fifteen minutes. Now, she won’t even attempt it. She’s in her safety net right now,” I said as I pointed to Grace whizzing in her walker past Heather.
Grace saw that Libby was out, and she stopped, looked up at Heather, and put her hands up for Heather to take her out. Heather reached down, took her out, and set her down. Then, Grace started walking up to Libby, and I almost died.
At the same time, Heather, Ellie, and I all screamed, “She’s walking!”
Poor Grace got scared and jumped, causing her to fall again on her bottom.
“Oh shit!” I said as I walked up to her and bent down. “Yay, Grace! You walked like a big girl.” I clapped my hands.
The next thing I knew, Heather and Ellie were right next to me. Grace pushed herself up and took off. This time, she went off at full speed out toward the living room.
I stood up and smiled. Then, my smile faded briefly. “Oh hell…now, I’m going to have two of them loose and crazy.”
“Welcome to my world!” Heather patted me on the back.
“A stripper? Are you crazy?” Heather asked as she placed a bowl full of noodles in front of Will.
Ellie pointed at me and said, “See, I’m not the only one.”
“I thought Jessie said no strippers, no way. Why are you planning on having one, Ari, if she doesn’t want one?” Heather asked as she placed Libby into the portable high chair she had brought.
I let out a sigh. “Okay, listen, you prudes…just trust me, will you? Now, what time are we going to head into Austin?”
Heather shook her head. “Ari, if Josh finds out there’s a stripper…well, hell, never mind Josh. When Jessie finds out, she’s gonna freak!”
“Agreed,” Ellie said before taking a bite of noodles.
“Bitches, just stop with your whining, my god. After all, we’re almost twenty-two. It’s not like we can’t still have fun just because we’ve pushed out a few pups.”
“Jessie is older, and I’m pretty sure she said no strippers,” Heather said.
I stood up and placed Luke’s dish into the sink. I took a deep breath before I turned around. “Listen, we’re going out tonight, and we’re going to have fun. I need fun. I need to drink a little, not get drunk but pretty damn close to it. I need to laugh and just have a good time, and I know you two need to do the same. I just want one night for all of us to have a good time. I promise y’all, I’m not going to do anything that the guys wouldn’t like or that Jessie wouldn’t want. Okay?”