That was when I lost it. The battle to hold back the tears was now over and done. I began sobbing, and Melody pulled me into her arms and began rocking me.
A lone memory of my mother holding me while she sang to me entered my mind. I could almost smell her perfume and hear her voice. Everything hit me at once—the loss of my mother, the guilt I felt about leaving Scott and being with Trey in Belize, and the guilt I felt about Trey’s death. All of it crashed down in that one moment, and I cried like I’d never cried before.
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there as I cried, but by the time I was done, I couldn’t believe how much better I felt.
Melody pulled back and looked into my eyes. “Listen to me because I’m only going to say this once. It was not your fault. No one blames you for leaving. I would have probably done the same thing if I had walked in and seen what you did. No one blames you or judges you for staying away for so long, and it is not your fault that Trey died. He made the decision to do the things he did. Okay? So, I don’t want you to ever have those thoughts in your mind again.”
I nodded my head and wiped at my tear-soaked cheeks.
“Now, I know I could never, ever replace your mother, but I will do the best I can to be like a mother to you. I always wanted a girl.” She smiled as she gave me a wink. “I can’t dress you up in pink ribbons and bows, but I sure as hell can do that with Lauren.”
I busted out laughing, thinking about how I’d had the same thought earlier.
She laughed and shook her head. “You know I’m going to spoil the hell out of her, don’t you?”
“Yes, I know,” I said.
We both stood up and started to head back to the room.
“Let’s talk wedding. Do we have a date in mind?” she asked as she slipped her arm through mine again.
I peeked over at her. “Scott wants to get married on Halloween.”
I cringed at how she was going to react. I was pretty sure she wanted a huge wedding where we would have to invite everyone in town, but Scott and I wanted something with just family and our closest friends.
She let out a gasp, and then she threw her head back and laughed. “Oh Lord! Halloween was always his favorite holiday besides Christmas, so I’m not surprised in the least bit.”
I slowly let out the air I had been holding in. “Wait—you’re not upset? I mean, if we decided to get married on Halloween and only have family and our closest friends attend, you would be okay with that?”
She stopped and looked at me. Her whole body seemed to straighten up more. “Jessie, I’m already thinking of the decorations…and what I want to wear! Oh, please say the guests can come dressed up. I have the perfect costume in mind!”
My jaw dropped to the ground, and I just stared at her. Who is this woman? And where did the Melody I thought I knew go?
“You’re looking at me like I have two heads, Jessica. I can get my party on just like the rest of them. Come on, let’s get y’all home. We have only a little over three months to plan this! Oh, we can set up games for the kids, too. My mind is racing with ideas.”
As we walked back to the room, Melody kept coming up with all these wonderful plans for the wedding.
“Damn it, I wish I had a pen and paper, so we could write this all down,” I said as I pushed the door open. Then, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Scott was holding Lauren and dancing with her in the middle of the room as he hummed a song. He was totally lost in the moment with her. My knees began to wobble, and I had to reach for the wall to hold myself up. I felt Melody steady me with her hands.
She let out a giggle. She whispered to me, “I remember the first time I saw his father holding him just like this. I was so swept away that I thought I couldn’t breathe. When you get angry with him…think of this moment. Always remember this moment, sweetheart.” She kissed me on the cheek and turned to leave. “Call me when y’all get home.”
I couldn’t even answer her. I just nodded my head. I was captivated by what was happening in front of me. I was falling in love with him all over again.
I walked into the room and just stood there. He finally looked up and saw me. He had a single tear rolling down his cheek, and there it was. I couldn’t breathe. This man standing in front of me, holding our child and loving her, just took my breath away.
“I’ve never wanted to have sex with you so badly than I do right now in my entire life,” I blurted out.
Scott’s eyes widened, and he slowly smiled. “I thought you said you were never having sex with me again.”
I walked up to him and looked at my sweet angel sleeping. I gently kissed her on the cheek. I reached up and gently brushed my lips against his. I tugged on his bottom lip with my teeth and then let it go. I slowly slid my hand down his stomach until I felt the evidence of his desire for me.
I winked and said, “I lied.”
I turned and glanced at the clock. It was two thirty in the morning. I rolled onto my back and attempted to go back to sleep. I could hear Ari breathing next to me, and the sounds she made while she slept drove me insane with lust. I turned my head and looked at her. I gently moved to my side and watched her sleep for the next five minutes.
I love her so damn much.
I placed my lips against her neck, right under her ear, where I gently kissed her.
“Mmm…” she said as she moved slightly.
Son of a bitch, I just have to look at this girl, and I want her so much.
I slowly slid my hand down her side and into her panties. I lightly brushed my fingers against her, and she pushed her hips into my hand.
“Jeff…” she whispered.
“Baby, I want you.”
She opened her eyes and looked at me. The smile that spread across her face was my green light. Before I knew it, I was pulling off my boxers and crawling on top of her already naked body.
I slowly pushed myself against her while she let out the softest, sweetest moan. Her fingertips moved lightly up and down my back, causing a million and one jolts of electricity to move through my body.
“Jeff…please go slow.” She pulled me closer to her.
I gently sank into her and let out a moan. I started moving in and out of her oh-so slowly. “Baby, you feel so good,” I whispered against her neck.
“Oh god…what a wonderful way to wake up!” Ari said as she moved her hips in perfect rhythm with mine.
This had to be my favorite thing to do—being buried inside the woman I was so desperately in love with, taking my time in making love to her, giving her nothing but pleasure and pure love.