“What will it take to get you to talk my son into coming home more often? He hasn’t been home in months.”
I looked at Peter with a shocked look on my face. “I would figure he came home a lot. I would if this was home for me. It’s beautiful here.”
Peter shook his head and his eyes filled with sadness. “No, neither one of boys really come home very often. I had such dreams for them. They were both going to help me run the ranch and we would work together every day.” He tilted his head and frowned. “I guess they had dreams of their own though.”
I smiled slightly and said, “Lark talks so much about the ranch. I know he loves it here.” I glanced back over toward Lark. He was talking to Tristan and it appeared to be a serious conversation. When Lark looked back over to me he shook his head and turned to walk out. Panic filled my body from head to toe and I wasn’t sure why. Was he leaving? Did he get called away again? Did Tristan tell him we were talking about him and Nikki?
I stepped back and looked at Peter. “I’m sorry Peter, would you excuse me please?”
He smiled and nodded his head, “Of course, darling. I’m going to find my bride and spin her around for a bit.”
I laughed and then turned and headed to where I had seen Lark go. I pushed the door open and was standing in a parking lot. I looked around and saw Lark leaning against his truck.
I took a deep breath and made my way over to him. Before I walked up to him, he began talking.
“I’m sorry everyone keeps bringing up Nikki to you.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “What?” I barely said.
He didn’t bother turning around as he just kept talking. “My family seems to feel the need to keep bringing her up. I’m sorry.”
I shook my head even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “I’m not bothered by that. I know how much you loved her and I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you.”
His head dropped and he whispered something I couldn’t make out.
My heart hurt so much for him and all I wanted to do was take away his hurt. His confusion.
“Lark,” I whispered. I stepped closer to him and touched his arm. He quickly turned and the way his eyes moved all over my body I knew what he was wanting. I took a step back and shook my head.
I swallowed hard and said, “If you’re thinking about her, that’s fine. I understand how everyone mentioning her is causing feelings to resurface, but if you think you’re going to use me to forget about her…” I couldn’t even finish talking. I could feel the tears burning my eyes. “I’m going back inside.”
I turned and began walking to the door when Lark called out for me. “Azurdee, wait. My God, I would never…”
The doors flew open and Peter and Joyce came walking out; Peter was cursing up a storm as he was limping.
I quickly ran up to them and said, “Oh my goodness. What happened?”
Joyce rolled her eyes and said, “This old goat got a little too wild on the dance floor. He swears he’s only sprained it but I swear I heard something break.”
Lark came running up. “Dad, are you okay?”
Tristan was now outside with Ryn right behind him. “Damn it, Dad. You’re not twenty anymore.”
Peter shot Tristan a dirty look that caused both Ryn and I to chortle.
“Boys, just help me get him to the truck so we can get to the hospital.”
Peter started pushing Lark away. “I’m not going to any goddamn hospital. I just sprained the damn thing.”
“Dad, we’re going to the hospital whether you like it or not,” Lark said as he grabbed him and helped him over to their truck. “Mom, do you want me to drive?”
Joyce nodded her head and jumped into the backseat. Lark turned and looked at me. He turned back and looked at his father and pushed me away from the truck a few feet.
“I need you to follow me in my truck. Is that okay?” Lark asked.
I nodded my head and said, “Of course it’s okay.”
When I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t believe what I saw. He was…scared.
“Lark, please don’t be scared. Your Dad’s going to be okay. Even if he did break his ankle, it’s going to be okay.”
He looked down at my lips and then back into my eyes. “I would never use you like that, Azurdee. Ever. Please know I’m not upset about people talking about Nikki or even my father being hurt. I’m upset that I made you think I only wanted you to forget about Nikki. I…I um…I care about you too much to ever do something like that to you. Please don’t ever forget that.”
My heart began beating faster as I smiled and nodded my head. “I’m sorry I thought that.”
He instantly relaxed and then jumped when his mother called out, “Michael! Come on!”
Lark leaned down and kissed me quickly against the lips before pulling back and handing me his keys.
Just a quick kiss from him caused me to lose my senses. I quickly ran over to his truck and jumped in.
The whole way to the hospital I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that had happened today. All these people telling me how much Lark loved me, the look in his eyes when he was telling me he was scared I thought he wanted to use sex to forget about Nikki, the way he seemed like he wanted to tell me he loved me but he couldn’t. Motherfucker! I’m so damn confused.
I slammed my head back against the seat as I followed Lark to the hospital. I thought back to the night of Scott and Jessie’s wedding.
I’m not sure if I can be what you want me to be.
What was I wanting Lark to be? I knew I’d fallen head over heels in love with him and I was okay that he wasn’t ready to say it back. Wasn’t I? I knew I wanted to spend every waking moment with him and I was pretty sure he felt the same way about me.
Mi amor. I smiled as I thought about how Lark always called me my love. My smile faded as I remembered him talking in his sleep the other night and heard him repeat, “Guarda mi corazón” over and over again. What did he need to guard his heart from? Me or love?
I wanted to ask Tristan why he thought Lark would end up hurting me, and made a mental note to try and talk to him alone again. We had almost two weeks and I was pretty sure I’d be able to talk to him again.
I pulled up and followed Tristan into the parking lot and parked Lark’s truck. As I made my way into the hospital, the strangest feeling came over me and I couldn’t really understand what it was, but it caused my whole body to break out in goose bumps.